Rookie
by Miss Peg
Summary: Police Academy cadet Jane Rizzoli goes to a college party at BCU after she considers the life she could have had if she had accepted her place at the prestigious school. There she meets the mysterious Maura Martin, a pre-med student who captures her heart. But the lies they both tell threaten to tear them apart. AU.
1. Prologue

**Author Note** **: I felt inspired to write a story about Jane and Maura in the early days of their careers. It is an AU, so Maura may not be entirely in character with the Doctor Isles we know and love, though I will attempt to keep her as similar as possible under the circumstances. As far as research goes, I hope to make Police Academy and the life of a rookie cop as accurate as I can, but any 'mistakes' can be considered artistic licensing. This is just a short introductory chapter.  
**

 **Disclaimer** **: Rizzoli and Isles is not mine, I just play with the characters and their little world.**

* * *

She unlatched the safety on her gun, clutching it tightly in one hand, her finger resting confidently on the trigger. Officer Jane Rizzoli stepped into position on the left side of the door, her eyes trained on her superior, and Field Training Officer, on the other side. He nodded briefly, glancing back to their colleagues. Her heart thrummed loudly, the beat of her pulse running through to her ears. She was ready.

"Everybody in position?" Officer Foolhardy whispered into his radio; static buzzed on the line, before three other officers called back affirmatively. "Let's go."

He lifted his leg, throwing it into the middle of the door, forcing it wide open in a moment of surprise for the people inside. Jane followed him through the door; two other officers close behind as they filed into the warehouse.

"Boston PD, down on the ground," Foolhardy shouted, pointing his own gun in the direction of the man and woman in the centre of the empty room.

The woman raised her hands; her dark blonde curls fell across her face as she lowered herself with practiced ease onto the ground. The man, whose blood soaked shirt lay at his feet, struggled to move from his position on a metal chair and onto the floor, a wound visible on his lower abdomen.

"Check the perimeter, he's not here," Foolhardy shouted into his radio as Jane and another cop moved towards the man and woman on the floor.

Officer Buck knelt down beside the injured man, carelessly thrusting his knee into his side, sending the man into a coughing fit. Jane gravitated towards the woman; she placed her knee gently on the small of her back as she slipped her cuffs over the woman's wrists.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she whispered, lowering her mouth to her ear as she pulled her up to her knees by the back of her jacket.

"Not now, Jane," she said, allowing Jane to drag her to her feet.

The drive back to the Boston Police Department headquarters was torture. Jane sat in the back seat of the car beside their prisoner, her eyes subtly trained on the woman through the rear view mirror. Hazel eyes stared back at her, begging her not to ask questions, but she knew she had no choice. She was a rookie. She'd recently graduated from the Police Academy. It was only her promise at the Academy and her actions in the weeks prior, that had led to her being allowed on that specific job. Now she regretted being such a promising cop.

"Got two for you today," Foolhardy said, as they pushed the prisoners towards the booking desk. "Didn't get the main man. Must have fled the scene before we could get anywhere near."

"Who have we got?" Officer Jenkins asked, barely glancing up from his paperwork.

"Tell him your names," Foolhardy said, kneeing the man in his behind. "We'll get a medic to check you over once you're booked in.

"Joe Bloggs," the man said, smirking.

Foolhardy kicked him again, this time in the shin. The man screamed out and fell to the ground.

"Don't lie, we've probably got your fingerprints on file."

"Andrew Smith," he said. Foolhardy dragged him back to his feet and pushed him towards the side of the room, slouching against the wall beside him.

"Now you," he said, nodding at the woman.

"Maura," she said, her eyes on the ground until that moment, when she lifted them to Jane's. "Doyle."

The blood ran cold through her veins. Jane could feel a weight settling in the pit of her stomach. Before she could say anything, Officer Jenkins had opened the gate and Foolhardy was already pushing both prisoners through to the holding cells. Jane stood on the other side, watching as they walked away. She should have followed. Instead, she turned tail and ran for the restrooms, slamming a cubicle door closed before kneeling down on the ground. The contents of her stomach landing in the toilet bowl.


	2. Chapter One

**Author Notes : Here is the 'next' chapter, aka, the first chapter, since the last was a prologue. Thank you to everyone who has read, reviews, favourited and followed. I'm so glad you're enjoying my story already.**

* * *

 **Rookie: Chapter One**

 _Six Months Earlier_

The cold beer came out of the keg so quickly that it spilled onto Jane's shoes. She stepped back, lifting the cup of beer up to her lips as she found a spot to stand by a couch. She felt completely out of place, despite being surrounded by her peers. The girls were in short skirts and tiny dresses and the boys were in slacks and shirts. Jane had opted for jeans and a Red Sox jersey, her favourite outfit.

"Ugh, that's disgusting," she said aloud as she spat her mouthful of beer back into the red, plastic cup. She was used to drinking beer with her dad. Despite having only recently turned twenty-one, she'd had enough beer to know that she liked it. What she tasted in her mouth, even after the liquid was back in the cup, was not beer as she knew it.

"You tried the beer?" someone asked.

Jane glanced over to the young woman beside her. Her dark blonde waves hung loosely around her shoulders, drawing attention to the dip in her low cut dress. Jane's eyes lingered for a moment, before she lifted them to her face. She forged a smile. "Yeah."

"You can blame Benji for that." She took the cup from Jane and carried it across to the drinks table. Jane followed close behind, not even sure that was her intention. When she started talking again, relief settled in. "He gets the kegs cheap from a friend, between you and me, I don't think it's pure beer. But you should try the punch."

She handed Jane a fresh plastic cup filled with a yellowy-orange liquid. "Yeah? What makes it so good?"

"Well, it's got a great mix of fruit and just enough alcohol to give you a buzz without getting you completely intoxicated too quickly. And, I made it."

Jane's eyes creased with a smile. She lifted the cup to her lips and tasted the sweet liquid as it burned down her throat. "That's good. Who are you?"

"Maura Martin. And you are?"

"Jane. Rizzoli." Maura reached out a hand and Jane took it.

"What are you majoring in?"

"Erm," she hesitated, she hadn't actually prepared what she was going to say if anyone questioned her on why she was there. "Haven't decided yet."

"Really?" Maura asked, her brow creased. "But you're a senior, right?"

Had she been in college, she would have been a junior. But she wasn't, so she nodded her head. "Err, sure."

"Do you have enough classes to choose any major?" Maura asked, a note of concern in her voice.

Laughter hovered on the edge of Jane's lips. She'd only just met the woman and she was already concerned about her non-existent college degree. For the first time all night, Jane felt a sense of comfort. "I'm thinking of doing another year. What about you? What's your major?" The desire to deflect the conversation away from herself was strong.

"Pre-med," Maura said quickly, her confidence shining through. "I'm heading to medical school next year. I just got offered a place here at BCU."

"Oh wow," Jane said, a feeling of inadequacy hitting her square in the chest. She sipped her punch to distract her from it.

They stood side by side in a comfortable silence. People danced beside them; college guys with too much alcohol in their systems ground themselves up against the equally drunk girls. A few beers in front of the game with her father felt a world away.

"I'll see you around," Maura said, a slight wave of the hand as she glided across the room.

Jane's eyes trailed down her slender legs, more feelings of inadequacy hit her. Looking at a woman in that way was only going to cause her more issue. She'd known it in high school when she found herself staring at one of the preppy girls too long in the locker room and later gotten punched in the face by her boyfriend. She knew it in the Academy when the mere suggestion of female cops led to comments on sexuality. Jane downed the remainder of her punch and poured herself some more. She finished that one quickly and topped up.

A couple of hours later, she slouched on a couch beside a college guy who'd commented on her shirt. The conversation had naturally turned to the latest season and the complexities of their current team. Another couple of glasses of punch sent her head in a spin. She'd never drunk so much liquor before. Her head lolled against his shoulder, her words slurred. When his hand lifted her chin, she stared into his eyes. The gap closed, the moment slowed down, and Jane braced herself for the touch of his lips.

"Get off me," a voice shouted across the room, pulling Jane's attention. The guy's lips landed on her cheek, but she was already pushing herself up off the couch. Maura stood across the room, her hands out in front of her, holding a guy in a fraternity jacket away from her.

"Come on, babe, I said I was sorry. You know it didn't mean anything."

Jane gritted her teeth, her fist bunched up at her side. She stalked across the room. A desire to protect the woman she'd met earlier overwhelmed her.

"She said get off her," Jane said, at least she thought she did, but the haze in her brain made it impossible to tell. He rolled his eyes and turned his back to her.

"Maura," he said, reaching his hand out to cup Maura's cheek.

"Don't," Maura said, turning her face to one side.

The moment she flinched under his touch, Jane saw red. She tapped him on his shoulder, waited for him to face her, before lifting her clenched fist and throwing it into his nose. She felt the familiar crunch of bone against bone and regretted her actions when the pain lingered in her knuckle. The Academy would not be happy when she turned up on Monday morning with limited function in her hand.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, hoping it would be enough to stop any potential police involvement.

She didn't think the Academy would accept protecting a woman she'd only just met who made her feel something she didn't want to as a defence. She span round, the action sending her diagonally across the room. The cool breeze of the early morning barely helped. She stopped on a wall a couple of feet away from the door and lowered herself down. Her head thumped.

"You probably shouldn't have done that."

At the sound of Maura's voice, Jane looked up. The feelings she'd felt earlier in the evening flooded to the forefront of her mind. Her lowered inhibitions making it easier to consider. She was beautiful.

"You looked like you needed some help."

"I can handle myself," Maura said, a sadness hovering in her eyes just long enough for Jane to recognise it. She felt it herself too often than she cared to admit.

"He deserved it." Justifying her actions didn't make them acceptable, but she didn't want Maura thinking any less of her. She rubbed her bruised knuckles.

"He did." Maura reached out, holding Jane's fingers to analyse the damaged.

"Is he gonna call the cops?"

Having Maura's hands on hers made her freeze. The intensity of physical contact left her breathless.

"He won't, he knows he deserved it. You might want to put ice on it when you get home, but I think you'll live," Maura said, letting go of Jane's hand. Jane stared into her eyes, wondering why they were even having the conversation. "Walk me back to my house?"

Jane nodded. She placed her hands down on the wall and forced herself up. A slight wobble made her reached out to Maura's shoulder to steady herself.

"Maybe I should be walking you," Maura said, her smile reaching the corners of her eyes.

"I'll be fine," Jane said, placing one foot in front of the other. She veered off to one side and Maura slipped an arm around her waist. Jane's pulse thrummed in her ear, her heart rate sped up.

"Where are we going?"

"It's fine," Jane said, gritting her teeth. Her earlier lie made it almost impossible to tell the complete truth. "I live off campus."

"So, we're walking me home," Maura said. "Then I'll call you a cab."

"I don't have any money," Jane admitted, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"It's on me."

She nodded her head, though having her cab fare paid for didn't sit well with her. Jane's head had reached a point she didn't think she was in a position to argue. They walked side by side, Maura's arm still wrapped around her waist to steady her as they walked the tree lined path towards the Delta Theta Nu house.

"Thank you, for trying to be my knight in shining armour," Maura said, when they walked up the steps to the front door.

She stood so close that Jane could smell the sweet fruit punch they'd both been drinking, mixed with vanilla and a scent she didn't recognise. She clutched hold of the white column holding up the front porch; her eyes never daring to leave the hazel ones in front of her.

"Anytime," Jane said, leaning in a little closer. Her eyes dropped to Maura's lips, her red lipstick a little smudged. The thought of her kissing the idiot from earlier in the evening made her blood boil. "Is he your boyfriend?"

"Garrett?" Maura nodded. "We've been together since freshman year. I caught him making out with one of my sisters. I don't think we'll make it to the end of the semester."

"You have sisters?" Jane asked.

Maura laughed. "From my sorority," she signaled to the Greek letters on the side of the house.

"Oh," Jane licked her bottom lip and stared into Maura's eyes. Everything she knew she shouldn't do culminated in that moment. The alcohol in her system did its job to force any nervous energy to the back of her mind. Without giving it another thought, Jane closed the gap and smacked her lips against Maura's.

When she pulled back before Maura could respond, the crease of her brow made Jane doubt her reading of the situation.

"I don't know why I did that," she said, still staring into Maura's eyes. The intoxication overwhelmed her.

"I do," Maura said, her smile softened as she placed her hand against Jane's cheek. She opened the front door and slipped inside, leaving Jane a little confused. She returned a moment later and handed Jane a slip of paper. "Call me when you're sober and we can talk."

"Alright," she whispered, slipping the paper into her jeans pocket and turning to the steps.

"I'll call you that cab."

"It's okay," Jane said, smiling back at Maura, her mind clearing a little. "I'll walk. But thanks for the offer."

"Anytime," Maura said, repeating Jane's own words. She nodded her head one final time before heading off down the street. The taste of Maura's lips still lingered on her skin.


	3. Chapter Two

**Author Note** **: Thank you so much to everyone who has shown an interest in this fic. I think it might be a bit of a slow one, at least to start off with, as Maura and Jane get to know each other. I anticipate that eventually it will become a lot less fluffy and lot more angsty, but for now it's probably angst light (though there's always room for drama).**

* * *

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli, where have you been?"

The silhouette of Angela Rizzoli stood from the couch and moved from the darkened room into the low light of the lamp. Jane rubbed her eyes. The walk home had exhausted her already tired body and she didn't think she could stand long enough to listen to her mother's lecture.

"Not now, Ma."

"It is five o'clock in the morning," Angela said, walking closer.

"So?" Jane shrugged and clung to the post at the bottom of the stairs.

"So, I've been up all night." Angela's eyes danced across the dishevelled appearance of her daughter, her voice raised. "I was worried."

Jane rubbed her temple and closed her eyes. "Stop shouting, my head hurts."

"Have you been drinking?"

The gap closed between them. Angela's eyes bore down into her pupils, something she'd only ever seen her do to Frankie when he came home from spending time with his marijuana smoking friends.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Jane rolled her eyes. "I am twenty-one. It's legal."

"The least you could have done is called," Angela said, the tone in her voice made Jane feel a little guilty.

"I was at a party, Ma," she said, gritting her teeth. "No one else has to call their mom."

"While you live under this roof you are our responsibility."

Jane placed one foot on the bottom step of the staircase. Her eyes grew heavier. "Good thing I'm a few months from leaving then, isn't it?"

"Oh. Don't say that, Janie." Angela's eyes filled with tears, as they did every time Jane even mentioned leaving home. The level of emotional blackmail her mother was capable of astounded Jane.

"It's true." She wrapped both hands around the post. "The second I graduate, I'm gonna find my own place."

"Why waste your money when you can live here?" Angela asked.

The weight of her eyelids became too much and Jane took a couple more steps up. "I'm tired, I'm going to bed."

"Wait, Janie," Angela said, a catch in her throat. "Do you have lipstick on your mouth?"

"No," Jane said, running the back of her hand across her lips. A slight pink coating came away. She closed her eyes and stared at the ground, her unsteady legs sending her toppling to one side. She stepped down one step to steady herself.

"Jane."

"I stopped by the mall and tried some on," she said, the ease of the lie didn't sit well with her.

"You don't go to the mall," Angela said, a crease settled between her eyebrows. "You even hated it at six months old, you cried for hours, even after we got home."

Jane considered her mother's statement. She was right. The lie that Jane told was so far out of left field that it was lost in the crowd. She averted her gaze, bringing her eyes back up to her mother's for the briefest moment as she spoke.

"I kissed a girl, Ma, and I liked it."

The words lingered in the air. Regret settled in the pit of Jane's stomach. She placed one foot in front of the other and walked up the rest of the stairs. Her eyes stayed down on the floor as she walked past the gaping mouth of her mother.

In the safety of her bedroom, she crawled under the bedsheets fully clothed and allowed a couple of tears to fall from her eyes. Her biggest mistake of the night was kissing Maura, admitting to someone other than herself that she had feelings for a woman. Her second biggest mistake of the night was telling her mother about it.

The bedroom door creaked open a moment later, a gentle tapping against the wood followed. Jane clutched the bed sheets over her head even tighter. She felt the bed shift down on one side, and the touch of a hand against the bedsheets where her shoulder was. She pawed at her cheeks. She was never going to be ready for them to have the conversation.

"Janie," Angela's voice stayed small, but Jane could tell it was laced with worry. Worry over her spiritual future? Worry over her physical future? She didn't know. But she knew when her mother was concerned.

She stayed still. Not daring to move. Angela breathed heavily beside her, her hand not moving from her arm.

"You can tell me anything," she said, opening up the conversation. Her voice remained steady, but Jane only closed her eyes and wished for the ground to swallow her whole. "I'll love you whoever you fall in love with."

"There's nothing to tell," Jane said, monotonously. "I was drunk. Still am."

"Okay."

The doubt in her response made Jane realise that she couldn't take it back. Whether she wanted to, or not, her mother would always know that she was lying to herself. She wondered if she had always known the thing Jane had held the closest. Still, she shifted under the covers, never revealing her face, only turning over onto her other side away from the unconditional love of her mother. Angela took the hint. "Goodnight, my beautiful girl."

When the door closed behind her, Jane threw the bed sheets away from her face, using the edge to wipe off the remainder of her tears. She wanted to believe her mother when she said she loved her regardless. But she'd sat through enough church services to know that when Father Morello spoke of the eternal damnation of sinners, and his inclusion of homosexuality in that, she couldn't avoid feeling like it was all lies. Her mother wouldn't go so far as to ship her off for therapy to correct her ways, but that didn't mean she'd like it, either. She didn't even know if she was gay, or bisexual, or neither. She just knew that behind her dark brown eyes, she had a yearning for someone who was female and it wasn't the first time.

She ran her fingertip along her bottom lip, the taste of fruit punch still lingered. A taste she would forever associate with Maura Martin. The buzzing in her mind slowed. Though she knew by morning she'd probably feel ten times worse. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't rid her thoughts of those lips. That brief sharing of skin that still made her breathless just thinking about it.

Jane lifted her butt off the bed and slipped a finger into the pocket of her jeans, pulling out the slip of paper Maura had handed her. Her name was written in beautiful cursive, each number representing the careful act of handing her contact details over for Jane to utilise.

She reached for the phone on her bedside table and pressed the numbers. One after the other, licking her lips every few seconds as she considered how it would feel to hear Maura's voice again.

"Who the hell is this?" a voice snapped, a sleepy Texas drawl that definitely didn't belong to Maura.

Words caught in her throat. "Is, is Maura...there?"

"It's six am, who rings at six am?" the Texan asked, her tone laced with anger and frustration.

"Sorry," Jane whispered "Is she there?"

"Who's calling?"

"Jane."

The phone clicked off briefly, a long silence followed. Jane didn't dare put the phone down in case Maura did pick up. After a minute, the sleepy, but familiar voice filled her ears.

"When I said for you to call, I meant in a couple of days," Maura said, her tone taut. Jane realised her mistake and stayed silent on the other end, soaking up every second of Maura's presence. "Did you wake me up for a reason or did you just want to keep me from getting some much needed sleep?"

"I'm sorry," she said, hating how desperate she felt in that moment. "I shouldn't have called."

"I wanted you to," Maura said. "Just not when I'm trying to recover from a night of alcohol consumption."

"I like how correctly you talk about things."

"Thank you. I suppose."

A silence fell between them. Jane's mistake lingered in the air and she didn't know how to fix it.

"I had a great night," she said.

"Me too." Maura's tone softened.

"We should do it again." Jane held tightly to the handset, her knuckles grew white. "Soon."

"I'd like that."

"When?" she asked, the need to know surpassing every ounce of common sense that she had.

Maura chuckled lightly. "Why don't you call me tomorrow at seven - in the evening - and we can discuss it."

"Okay."

"Okay." She paused. "And Jane?"

"Yes?"

"Hydrate. It'll help with the hangover in the morning."

"Thanks."

X

After replacing the handset, the phone rang for a second time. Maura reached out and placed it to her ear, excitement running through her weary body at the thought of Jane ringing her. Again. Despite the untimely hour, hearing her voice reminded her why she'd given her her number in the first place.

"What is it now, Jane?" she asked, but the gruff, male voice at the other end made her heart sink.

"Your father wants to meet with you."

"I told you not to call me at the house," Maura said, adjusting her tone accordingly.

"Nine at the warehouse."

Maura gritted her teeth. "Lister, tell my father I'll be there, but don't call here again."

She returned the handset to its holder and lay back against the mattress. Her bed was too comfortable, and her eyes too weary to move. But when Patrick Doyle called, Maura knew more than anyone that you had to do as he asked. She threw back the bed sheets and made her way to the bathroom. Hydration, showering, and a large cup of coffee were her only hope of getting through whatever her father wanted her for.

* * *

 **Author Note** **: I hope you enjoyed this one. I'm trying to decide what Jane and Maura should do with their time as they're getting to know each other, so suggests would be appreciated. Any date ideas, etc.**


	4. Chapter Three

**Author Note** **: Thank you to everyone who has favourited and followed my story, and especially to those who have taken the time to comment. I appreciate hearing what you think, especially since this story is currently fluffier than I had intended to write (you know I love my angst!). I hope you like this next one...**

* * *

The empty warehouse smelled like rotting fish, a scent that wreaked havoc with Maura's delicate stomach. The lack of sleep mixed with her slightly higher than average alcohol consumption contributed exponentially. She was only thankful she'd had the common sense to alternate her alcoholic drinks with water, topping it off with half a litre before going to sleep.

"Where is he?" Maura asked, her eyes trained on the young man stood against the wall, his arms folded across his chest. He glanced down at his watch then nodded his head, signalling for her to follow him.

They took a side exit out into the city of warehouses she'd driven into. Not saying a word, the man continued down between two buildings, took a right, then a left, before stopping by a red shutter. He unlatched a panel door and motioned for her to step inside.

The warehouse wasn't ascetically different from the previous one. The only difference was the hive of activity she'd come to expect when being summoned to visit her father.

"My baby girl," he said, walking towards her with his arms outstretched. She sunk into his embrace, revelling in the stale scent of cigar smoke and alcohol that she came to associate with her father.

"What did you want to see me for?" she asked, pulling out of his arms, her expression cold. "You've changed locations, again."

"Gotta keep the cops on their toes," he said, a light chuckle escaping his mouth.

Maura pursed her lips. "Well?"

"Can't a father want to spend time with his daughter?"

"You don't spend time with your daughter," Maura pointed out, her brow creased. "I see you hired a new lacky."

"Did he treat you well?"

"Would have been better if you'd let him actually talk to me."

"Can't risk him getting to know my previous little girl," he said, wrapping his hands around her cheeks and kissing her nose.

Maura stepped backwards. "What did you really call me here for?"

"O'Neal got himself into a scrape, I need you to clean him up."

"I'm pre-med," she said, the words feeling like something she'd learned by rote. "I don't have the training or licence to deliver medical care. I won't have it for another few years."

"You're better than everyone else I've ever hired," he said, placing a hand on the small of her back and holding his arm out towards the back of the warehouse. "Come. See for yourself. It won't take long."

Maura hesitated, then nodded her head. She followed him into his office at the back of the room. O'Neal lay on the couch, his shirt off, bruises covering his abdomen; a deep laceration to his forehead.

"He needs stitches and a scan to check for internal bleeding," Maura said. "He needs a hospital."

"Come on, sweet pea," Doyle said, lifting the bag of medical supplies he'd accumulated off a chair in the corner of the room. "You know we can't take him to a hospital."

She sighed, but walked over to O'Neal and opened the medical bag. A litre of hot water, several dressings, and a rather shaky bit of needlework later, and Maura stood back to analyse her handy work. She slipped the latex gloves from her hands. Her fingers still shook from the minor surgical procedure she'd carried out without observation, or correct medical training.

"Hire someone better, next time," she said, tossing the gloves against his chest. She headed for the exit.

"Find your own college tuition, then," he said, stopping her in her tracks.

Her pulse reached her ears. A rising anger lingered on the surface of her emotions. Her father knew more than anyone else how to push her buttons, and she hated it.

She turned to face him, her words laced with anger. "You know Mom can't afford it. Her and Gary are working flat out to keep the house, and to look after Cailin. They don't need the added pressure of college."

"She should have thought about that before she shacked up with that lowlife."

Maura bit back a retort. Her step-father was a decent man who made peanuts working for the city. Paddy Doyle, the most notorious mobster in Boston, calling him a lowlife was so far past ironic.

"Just don't call the house," she said, turning back through the exit.

Instead of going straight home, Maura drove to the mall. She'd sooner have gone into her presidential bathroom and scrubbed her hands until her knuckles bled. But she didn't want to face any of the girls. Despite having risen to the rank of president, Maura still felt very alone in the one place she should have been able to feel like she had a family. After her big and little sisters left, one through graduation, the other having dropped out after some personal issues, Maura's number of close friends in the sorority dwindled.

There were only so many windows she could stare into or items of clothing she could try on, before her lack of money made her feel even sadder. When she was a small child she remembered being lavished with gifts, and at Christmas and birthdays she always expected something extravagant. For her high school graduation, Paddy Doyle bought her a car. Sometimes she wished everything was stolen, then at least she could anonymously hand them in to the police. Being bought things by Paddy was like being given blood money. Every item was tainted.

When she arrived back at the house at seven thirty, Maura was exhausted. Most of the girls were in the middle of their party night preparation routine.

"Parcel for you," Simone said, whilst painting her nails on the couch. Maura picked up the small padded envelope from a table and ripped it open.

"Thanks," she said, pulling out a slip of paper, a wad of hundred dollar bills, and a brand new pager. She read the note: 'Dear Maura, A small token of my appreciation for today. Now I can respect your wishes and contact you when I need you. Love, Dad.'

A bitter taste filled her senses. She screwed the slip of paper up in her palm and tossed it into the waste basket by the front door. She walked to the stairs and placed one foot on the bottom step, when Simone spoke again.

"Someone called Jane rang."

The reminder that she'd missed the prearranged phone conversation with Jane filled her with disappointment. Maura felt tears prick the corner of her eye. The exhaustion in her body hit her emotions.

"Did she leave a number?"

"No idea," Simone said, blowing the varnish on her toenails to dry them. "Jill took the call."

"Where's Jill now?" Maura asked, knowing without Simone's confirmation that the house's party girl was already on her way to a party at the Theta Psi Phi house.

She retreated to her bedroom, thankful that she was not sharing with anyone else. She tried to pretend that what her father made her do was part and parcel with life, but she knew in her adulthood that he was manipulating her. He'd always been that way. A person who got under the skin of anyone he supposedly cared about. She was only thankful her mother had seen sense to get out before she ended up a mobster's wife.

The phone rang and Maura snatched it up, desperately hoping to hear Jane's voice on the other end of the line.

"Delta Thetha Nu, Maura speaking," she said, forcing out her most peppy voice, which only sounded hollow.

"You sound like a cheerleader."

Every bad thought from the day drifted off into the silence that followed Jane's voice. Maura's cheeks ached from the involuntary smile. She was so distracted by the way Jane made her feel, that she nearly forgot to answer.

"Are you there?"

"I'm here," she said, her voice barely retaining a positive tone.

"Wow, you sound happy," Jane said, a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"I'm sorry," Maura said. "I've not had much sleep."

"I should apologise," Jane said. "I don't know why I called you this morning."

"It's fine. I ended up having to go out first thing, anyway."

Another silence fell over them. The uncomfortable atmosphere made Maura doubt if anything that had happened in the previous twenty-four hours was real. She remembered the feel of Jane pressing her lips against hers and the involuntary churning of her stomach. It can't have been all in her head.

"Are you busy?" she asked, desperate to feel something of what she felt the night before.

"Not really," Jane said.

"Do you want to go out somewhere?"

"Where?" Jane asked.

Maura cleared her throat, pushing back the tiredness that continued to overwhelm her. "I don't know. I'd just like to go out."

"I can pick you up in half an hour," Jane said, her rasping voice meeting the churning of Maura's stomach. She didn't know what was going to happen, but she did know that her excitement level was off the charts.

The call ended a moment later and Maura rushed into her closet. She filed through her clothes, searching for the right outfit to match the mood of the evening. She flicked past her smartest dresses. It wasn't that kind of occasion. At the other end of her wardrobe she kept her gym clothes, too informal. Though going by Jane's attire the night before, she didn't expect she'd need to dress up much to make her happy.

"Perfect," she smiled, pulling out a pair of black leggings and an oversized shirt.

She ran the shower and stood under the hot stream of water for as long as she could justify, before washing her hair and tidying up where her last waxing had expired. She made a mental note to book her next appointment and returned to her bedroom. She picked out a red lacy thong and matching bra, just in case. Before dressing in the outfit she'd chosen earlier.

The doorbell rang moments before she'd finished tidying up her freshly dried hair. It rang again a moment later when she picked up her small black purse from her dresser and ran downstairs to answer the door.

Jane stood slouched against the door frame, her eyes full of curiosity when Maura opened the door. She ran a hand through her thick, dark curls. Her baseball shirt was replaced by a blouse tucked in at one side, and she wore a similar pair of jeans as the night before.

"Ready to go?" she asked. Maura noticed her eyes travel down her body, stopping where her shirt buttons weren't fastened on the way down and then back up.

Maura nodded and followed her out onto the street. They maintained a distance on the journey to the car. Jane opened the passenger door and waited for Maura to climb in, slamming it behind her as she went round to the driver's seat.

"Sorry about the mess," Jane said, tossing an empty soda can onto the back seat. If it had been anyone else, Maura would have been put out by the amount of trash in the car, but from what she knew about Jane Rizzoli, it fit her personality.

They drove off campus. Maura didn't question where and Jane didn't ask where she wanted to go. The journey took them out of the city and up into the surrounding area. When they pulled up in a parking lot for a nature trail, Maura reconsidered the black pumps she'd chosen.

"Don't worry," Jane said, her eyes following Maura's down to her feet. "We're not going far."

She got out of the car and followed Jane along a dry dirt track. A few hundred yards later, the path opened up to a clearing with a view across part of Boston.

"This alright?" Jane asked, her eyes never faltering as Maura's brow creased.

"Why did you bring me out here?" Maura asked, her curiosity piqued.

"You said you didn't know where you wanted to go, it sounded like you needed to get out of the city, and this is one of my favourite places," Jane said, running a hand through the back of her hair, her eyes averted down to the ground.

Maura stepped forward, filling the space where Jane's eyes were fixed. She moved closer, staring up into Jane's eyes as they stared back down.

"It's perfect," Maura said. Her breath caught in her throat as she considered her next move.

"I like to come out here when I need some space," Jane said, her tongue running across her bottom lip.

Maura lifted herself ever so slightly off the ground, her lips pressed against Jane's as she wrapped her arms around her waist.

"Oh God," Jane moaned as she pulled out of the kiss.

"Is everything okay?" Maura asked, worry flashed across her eyes.

"I really didn't want it to feel like that," Jane said, her voice raspier than usual.

"Oh." Maura's brow creased.

"I didn't mean that the way it sounded," Jane sad, cupping Maura's cheeks. "You make me feel things I shouldn't be feeling."

"Why not?"

"People." She took a step back, wistfully. "They won't understand."

"Your family?"

"And other people."

Maura closed the gap again. She ran the tip of her finger along Jane's bottom lip, her eyes fixed on Jane's dark brown pupils. "Do you want to kiss me?"

Jane nodded, her fingers tucked gently around Maura's cheeks as she slipped her tongue along her bottom lip and into her waiting mouth. Their bodies merged together in a moment of passion.

"Wait right there," Jane said, pulling back and running off down the trail. Maura watched her disappear through the trees, confusion etched across her features.

A moment later she returned with a blanket which she laid down on the ground, sitting on one side and inviting Maura to sit on the other.

"Thank you," Maura said, the corners of her eyes creased with the large smile.

Jane ignored her gratitude and captured her mouth again, her fingers grasping at strands of her hair. Maura felt herself move backwards, lying down without thinking as Jane's body pressed against hers. She pulled her closer, wrapping one of her legs around Jane's as her tongue danced between their mouths.

She lay back against the blanket, breathless. Jane rolled onto her back beside her, her fingers travelled across the gap, interlinking with Maura's between them.

"Tell me something I don't know about you," Jane said, turning her head.

"I have a baby sister," Maura said after a moment's thought. "She's called Cailin and she's a year old."

"Wow," Jane said. "Big gap."

"My Mom was young when she had me. She and my father split up when I was very small. That makes Cailin my half-sister." Maura shifted onto her side, staring across at Jane. "Now you."

"I've always dreamed of owning a tortoise," she said, her smile large.

"What kind of tortoise?"

"The tortoisey kind," Jane said. "How many kinds are there?"

"Upwards of sixty."

"Oh. I guess a really small one, then."

The conversation flowed freely as they talked about tortoise species, Maura's baby sister, and her sorority traditions. They continued to lay there as the sun set and the stars shone out above the city. Their fingers held together between them.


	5. Chapter Four

**Author Note** **: So I have been writing bits here and there, but for some reason have big gaps between things I've written. Hopefully after a couple more chapters I can push things forward and get to some of the action. I hope you enjoy...**

* * *

Maura opened her eyes to the sound of a bird tweeting from a tree. The bright blue sky above puzzled her in that sleepy state, until she rolled over, a crick in her neck from the uncomfortable sleeping position, to find Jane Rizzoli asleep beside her. A smile crept onto her face. She reached a hand out and placed her carefully manicured fingers onto the side of Jane's hair. Maura couldn't remember the last time she'd spent so long with one person. Sure, she'd slept with Garrett on multiple occasions and they frequently stayed over in each other's bedrooms. But Maura had never spent the night with someone she considered a suitable partner, without there being some kind of intimacy. That wasn't to say that what happened between them wasn't intimate, because in some ways it felt even more intimate than if they'd had sex.

"Mm-mm," Jane mumbled, rolling onto her back and opening her eyes. She ran her injured hand across the back of her neck and moaned again. Her eyes caught Maura's and a large smile spread to the corners of her eyes.

"Morning," Maura said, allowing her fingers to trail down to Jane's cheek. She leant forward and placed her lips to Jane's, allowing some of what she'd felt the night before to seep back into the space pulling them together.

"It's morning?" Jane asked, placing a hand on Maura's shoulder and pushing her away. "Shit."

"Is there something wrong?" Maura asked, her mood dipping dramatically as Jane clambered to her feet and straightened up her clothing.

"My Ma is gonna kill me," she said, tugging at the blanket until Maura stood too. She folded it up in her arms and ran towards the trail, not stopping to check that Maura followed behind. It took her a moment to catch up, not least because she was still trying to process what was happening.

"Your mother?" Maura asked, when they'd belted up and Jane was driving a little too fast down along the open road. "Young people are statistically more likely to die in a motor vehicle accident than their older counterparts."

Jane turned her head. "Why would you say that?"

"Because it's true," Maura said, holding onto the handle above her seat. "You're driving too fast."

"I'm sorry," Jane said, slowing the car down a little.

"Thank you."

"What time is it?" Jane asked.

"It's just after ten."

"Wait, what day is it?"

"Sunday."

x

After dropping Maura off at her house, Jane put her foot down on the gas and rushed back to her neighbourhood. She pulled up outside the church, and ran inside, slipping into the pew beside her brothers as the congregation finished preying.

"Janie," Angela said, her voice taut. Jane gritted her teeth, hoping she could have escaped notice, despite having been absent all morning.

"Not now, Ma," she said, forging a smile. The organs started up and everyone stood for a hymn.

Once the service was over, people filed out of the church, some lingered in the aisle talking amongst friends and families.

"Take the boys home," Angela said to Frankie Senior as they made their way up the central aisle. "Janie and I need to visit Father Morella."

"But, Ma," Jane said, sighing. She followed her mother through the church towards Father Morella and waited for him to say goodbye to an elderly couple.

"Father," Angela said. "I'm worried about my daughter, she's been staying out all night and getting up to who knows what, could you please talk with her?"

"Of course, why don't you come with me, Jane?"

Jane gritted her teeth and sent dagger eyes at her mother. She followed him towards an empty pew at the front. She sat and watched him stand before her, his hands clasped in front of him. He didn't look angry, or upset, but Jane could feel her own emotions overwhelm her. She turned to Angela, who sat at the back, her eyes fixed on Jane.

"This is all a big misunderstanding," Jane said.

"Have you been staying out all night?" Father Morella asked. Jane nodded. "Then I think there is not. Your mother is worried, as she should be. Do not allow yourself to be pulled away from your faith, Jane."

"As if I have any," Jane mumbled, rolling her eyes.

"You're an adult now," he said. "In the eyes of the Lord, you are an adult who is capable of making her own decisions, and her own mistakes. Do not be tempted by people who do not accept the word of the Lord to be true."

"It's not like I'm having sex," Jane said, her cheeks flushing.

"I should hope not."

Jane sighed. "Look, Father Morella. I'm not getting up to all sorts as my mother claims. I'm just an average twenty-one year old having a good time."

"That is what worries me."

"That I'm having a good time?"

"Yes."

"It's legal. I'm not doing anything I'm not allowed to."

"In the eyes of the law," he said. "But not necessarily in the eyes of the church."

Jane turned to her mother, her eyes still focused entirely upon her. She wasn't going to get out of this if she continued to argue back.

She smiled. "Thank you, Father Morella. You're right. I should respect my mother, and my father, and I should not be going against what I have learnt in church."

"I am so glad to hear that," he said.

"I promise to do better."

"Bless you, child," he said, stepping forwards and placing a hand on her shoulder. "You should come along to confessional. I'll be here any time."

"I will," Jane said, knowing full well that she wouldn't.

x

She lifted the weapon she'd been assigned for target practice up in front of her; shots fired from multiple guns in quick succession until the full round of every rookie's gun was either in the target or in the wall behind. Jane creased her brow at her own round. The target lay empty. Her heart sank. Every week since she arrived at the academy, she had gotten almost every shot on target, she was the second best shot in her class. Maybe they didn't all hit the silhouette of a person in the right place, but they were at least there ninety-nine times out of one hundred. She'd watched some of her peers fail to get a full round up, and in the early days, some didn't get any. The inability to pick up the skill had led to the departure of three of her classmates.

"What was that, Rizzoli?" the teacher asked, his military style tone hitting her right in the ego. She'd screwed up. She knew she'd screwed up. Now she was going to have to face the wrath of the most unforgiving of her teachers.

"I don't know, Sir," she said, her voice devoid of as much feeling as possible. Despite the tears pricking at her eyes. His tone and derision didn't bother her so much as making a mistake. She slipped the safety on and put her gun down on the shelf. She rubbed her bruised knuckle with her fingers.

"What is that on your knuckles, Rookie?" he asked, his use of her position the worst insult he could throw at her.

"I, err," she said, her voice low and barely there.

"Stop mumbling and start talking or I'll send you to your field officer for discipline."

She fought the desire to groan like a teenager in high school. "I got into a fist fight, Sir."

A smirk spread across his features for the briefest second before vanishing again. "Are you aware that physical altercations are a direct violation of your role as an officer of the law?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Can you explain to me why you made the decision to violate, Rookie?"

"He wouldn't let my friend go. He had his hands all over her."

"Do you feel your actions were justified?"

"Excuse me?"

He rested his hands on his hips. "I do not expect to repeat myself, Rookie."

"Yes, my actions were justified." Deep down, despite regretting punching Garrett, Jane knew that she'd do it again in a heartbeat.

"Is he going to press charges?"

"No, Sir."

"You have been lucky, Rizzoli." His stern expression became evident. "Don't let it happen again. You miss another round and you're on gun cleaning duty for a month."

"Yes, Sir," she said, lifting her gun up and reloading it. She set herself up and prepared to fire. When the whistle blew, she focused all of her attention away from the throbbing in her knuckle and into firing the gun. Each shot landed on the target, one after the other.

After the class, Jane stood staring at her target. The missed holes and unfamiliar pattern disappointed her. Her peers had all gone on a break. The room was empty except for the officer teaching them.

"Sir," she said, turning to face him. He loaded the used, holey targets into a trash bag, and lifted his head.

"What is it, Rizzoli?" he asked, her lips thin. "You should be on break."

"I'd like to fire another round," she said, an idea formulating. "I also want a free pass on not hitting the target."

"Can you please explain to me why I should give you a pass?"

"I'd like to try shooting with my right hand, Sir."

He tilted his head, pondering her request for a moment. "You think you can do better?"

"I'm certain I can't do any worse," she said. She'd heard of cops in previous years who had learned to shoot with both hands. Her temporary issue pushed her desire to follow them.

"You get one round," he said, loading up a gun and handing it to her. He put up an empty target.

She set herself up as she usually did. Then corrected her stance. She focused all of her mental ability onto flipping what had become second nature on its head. She aimed and pressing down on the trigger as the bullets flew from the Glock and into the target. She lowered her hands and stared at the large hole where every bullet had hit, ripping the paper target wide open.

"I think you've been using the wrong hand, Rizzoli," he said, stepping to her side. "Either that or it was a fluke. You want to try again?"

"Yes, Sir."

She fired six rounds, each breaking the target in much the same way as the first.

When she got out for the day, Jane went straight home and dialled Maura's number. She got as far as saying hello before realising that sharing her day was not an option.

"You sound happy," Maura said.

"I am," Jane said, biting her tongue. She wanted to talk about her shot. She wanted to tell Maura how she'd risen from second to first in her class, with her supposedly weaker hand. The words caught in her throat.

"What's making you so chipper?"

"Chipper?" Jane asked, a laugh escaping her lips.

"I think it's British."

"Well, Maura," Jane said, attempting to sound British. "I am rather chipper."

"You sound Scottish."

"I never said I was any good at accents."

"Really? I can do Serbian."

Jane scoffed. "Why would you want to do a Serbian accent?"

"I don't know," Maura said, her voice coming out in a seductive Serbian accent. "But I've been told it can be quite hot."

"Jesus," Jane said, a warmth spreading through her body. Every second she spent talking to Maura she found herself falling faster.

"Is that good or bad?"

"When we have sex, can you just talk to me like that?" Jane asked, covering her mouth and closing her eyes as she realised the words that had come out of her mouth.

" _When_?" Maura asked.

"I," Jane began, but allowed her voice to trail off into the silence.

"I'll talk however you want me to," Maura said, a smile spread across her face. "But you should probably know that I can be very sexual."

Jane coughed on her breath, the act of breathing in sending her into a splutter. She held the phone away from her mouth. The phone clicked.

"Who is that? Is somebody there?"

Silence fell over the line again. Jane's mother's voice filling the void.

"I'm on the phone, Ma," she said, gritting her teeth and praying that Maura would remain silent. "Get off the line."

"I didn't realise you were home," Angela said, before clicking off again. A sense of foreboding overshadowed any future conversation Jane was about to have.

"I have to go."

"Can I see you tonight?" Maura asked. "We could go out for dinner."

"I'd like that," Jane said, before bidding her farewell and hanging up the phone.

She jumped up off her bed and marched through the house, not stopping til she found her mother standing in the kitchen slicing an onion.

"What the hell was that?" Jane asked, pursing her lips.

"Language, Janie," she reprimanded.

"I'm twenty-one years old, Ma, I'll say what I God damn please."

"If you want to see that girlfriend of yours, you will watch your mouth."

Her cheeks flushed bright red. Jane clutched the edges of her jeans and gritted her teeth. The audacity of her mother's suffocation sent her head into a spin. Not only was she making assumptions based off of something Jane hadn't actually clarified, and had actively denied, she was also going to try telling her that she couldn't speak freely.

"Do you want me to move out tomorrow?" Jane asked, kicking her back in the only way she knew how.

"You didn't deny it."

"Deny what?"

"That you have a girlfriend."

"If you're asking if I have a friend who's a girl, yes, I have lots of girlfriends."

"The other girl at the police academy doesn't count."

"She's not from the academy, Ma. Contrary to popular believe, I am capable of making friends in other places."

"Where?"

"Twenty-one. Ma."

"I worry; it's my job to worry about my baby girl."

Jane rolled her eyes. "If you'd buy me a cell phone, you wouldn't need to worry."

"Those new fangled things?" Angela's brow creased. "Why would you want one of those? They're not cheap. Besides, I thought you were an adult. You can buy your own."

"You'll be able to call me when I don't come home and I'll have to answer."

"We'll think about it for your birthday."

"I won't need dinner tonight," Jane said, reaching down and picking up a slice of onion. She tossed it into her mouth before rushing over to the garbage and spitting it out.

"Why not? And what's wrong with my onion?"

"I forgot I've lost my appetite for raw."

"Sure you have," Angela said, raising an eyebrow as she sliced into the rest of the onion. Jane turned and headed for the hallway, her mother's voice travelling in her wake. "Wouldn't have anything to do with your girlfriend."


	6. Chapter Five

**Author Note** **: Thank you to everyone who has commented, favourited, and followed. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.**

* * *

"I'm going to be late," Maura said, glancing down at the '911' message on her pager. She gritted her teeth and listened to Jane's response. "I'm sorry. I'll call you later. Hopefully there'll still be time."

It had been two weeks since they'd met and Maura hated having to cancel at the last minute. Everything had been going so well. She hadn't heard from Paddy in most of that time and all she wanted to do was spend her free time with Jane. She re-tied the scarf she'd been wearing throughout the day, covering up the mark on her neck that had formed from the last time she'd seen Jane.

"Paddy," she shouted, as she entered the warehouse an hour later. The usual workers were gone. Presumably even they got a break at weekends from time to time. A couple of youngsters, too young to be involved with her father's business, were unpacking crates.

"What are you doing calling me that?" he asked, walking out of the office. He wrapped an arm around her back and pulled her into a hug. Maura settled into his embrace. Sometimes she had to cherish the nice moments, because she knew her time there was not for her sake.

"I have a test to study for, will this take long?"

"I wanted to reward you for being such a great daughter," he said, handing over a box. Maura forced a smile and opened it, pulling out a cellphone.

"I thought you didn't like these," she said. "That's why you bought me a pager."

"The pager is so I can contact you. This is so you can contact whoever you want."

"But mostly you."

"No, Maura," he said, slipping his arm around her shoulder and leading her towards the office. "I don't ever want you to call me on that thing. Do you hear me? Use it with your friends."

"Oh."

Very rarely did Paddy Doyle buy her anything that was for her alone. Her lips curved in a more natural smile. Maybe he was finally listening to her complaints. The possibility that it was stolen didn't escape her attention, but for once she didn't care. A cell phone would make conversations with Jane a lot easier. If only she had one too. The interference of her mother made it harder, and Maura hadn't dared phone Jane's house without prior arrangement since.

"Boss, the O'Donnell crew are here," Lewis said, running into the room with a gun in his hand.

"What do you mean they're here?" he glanced in the direction Lewis had come from.

Within seconds, two men carrying guns walked into the room. A sense of calm about them as they fired their weapons at Maura and her father. She ducked down behind a box, her heart racing inside of her chest as Doyle knelt down beside her.

"You had better not be the one who led them here," Doyle said, slapping Lewis on the arm as the young man started firing back. "Cover us. I am getting Maura out of here."

She sat against the wooden container, her heart raced inside of her chest, her lungs felt like they could barely inflate. Every situation she'd faced with her father had been dangerous. More often than not she was surrounded by men with guns, and threated with police raids. Her father usually carried a gun on his person. But when she did his bidding, she had never been caught up in the middle of a gun fight.

"Come on, Maura," Doyle said, wrapping his fingers around her upper arm and tugging her away. She shook her head and fought against his grip.

"No."

"If you don't move now, you're dead. I will not watch you die."

"I, I don't," she began to say, but the words disappeared as another row of shots reverberated around the warehouse.

They waited until the round ended. Lewis began firing back at the two men who had ducked behind machinery. Maura followed her father, his arm wrapped around her back, as they ran for an exit on the other side of the warehouse.

Her lungs ached from the exertion of running from the warehouse and the lack of intake of oxygen. Her father followed close behind. She didn't stop running, not caring where she was headed, just following Doyle's instructions to turn left, right, left, left and go straight on. When she reached another turning, no instructions came, so she slowed right down. She stood against a brick wall and watched her father catch up. Adrenaline coursed through her veins as she fought to catch her breath. She suspected it wouldn't be long before a wall of emotions hit her.

"That is it. I am done," she shouted, throwing her purse on the floor.

"Maura."

Doyle stared at her. She stared back. His eyes were tired. His face red. An ounce of sympathy filled her, followed by resentment and anger. He put her in situations time and time again, and he didn't seem to care how they affected her. She fought against him and he blackmailed her to continue. She knew her threat would not be carried through. She couldn't give up her future. Not now, not when she was so close to achieving her dreams.

"We'll find a new location within a couple of weeks. I'll contact you then. You can have a break. I'm closing down operations until we can find somewhere safer."

"Thank you," Maura said, a weight shifting from her shoulders. No matter how briefly.

She glanced around the space they were stood. She didn't recognise it. The buildings were different, more permanent, than the warehouse they'd come from.

"How am I to get home?" she asked.

"Here," Doyle said, handing her a wad of notes and walking her towards the main road on the other side of the building. "Get a cab. Go straight home. Do not go back for your car. I'll have it delivered to you in a couple of days."

"What am I supposed to do before then?"

He sighed and pulled a few more notes from his pocket. Maura slipped them into her purse.

She called Jane from the car, something that felt alien. When the cab pulled up at the sorority house, Jane was there, leant against the hood of her car with a relaxed smile on her face. Maura paid the driver and practically fell into Jane's arms.

"It is so good to see you," she said, clinging to her. Tears threatened to fall, but she fought against them. The last thing she needed was to explain what had just happened to Jane.

"Are you okay? Where's your car?"

"In the shop," Maura said, searching her bank of lies. "I had a bump."

"Are you hurt?" Jane asked, cupping her cheeks and staring into her eyes.

"No," Maura said, shaking her head. "Just shaken up."

"Do you still want to go?"

"Please."

They drove out to the clearing where they spent the night together. The peace and quiet of the open countryside settled Maura's nerves immediately. She walked out into the middle of the clearing, turning around, embracing having space from the real world. Jane took a step towards her and she scooped her into her arms, trailing kisses along Jane's collarbone, nibbling on her bottom lip, and running her hands along the waistband of her jeans.

"Whoa," Jane said, pushing her backwards as Maura's fingers travelled into the back of Jane's pants. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure," Maura said, cupping her face and sliding her tongue into her mouth, capturing her lips, forcing every ounce of emotion still running through her into the passion she felt for the woman standing in front of her.

Jane wrapped her arms around Maura's waist, lifting her a little higher off the ground, so that Maura stood on her tiptoes. Their mouths moved in harmony as Jane unfastened the zip on Maura's dress slowly, carefully pulling it down until she could reach the bare skin of Maura's back.

She pulled her down onto the floor, not caring that they didn't have a blanket this time around. Maura pushed Jane down, slipping her dress down her shoulders and off her hips so that she lay over her in only her bra and panties. She moved back to Jane's lips, breathing hard against them as she unbuckled Jane's belt and slipped a hand into the front of her underwear.

A while later, Maura lay on her back, her heart beating quickly as the blood continued to rush around her body. Jane's fingers trailed along her abdomen, up between her breasts and circled her nipples. Maura stared up at the sky, not looking at Jane as she replaced her finger with her lips.

"That was amazing," Jane said, a roughness to her voice that on any other day would have sent a shiver down Maura's spine. Instead, she pushed her mouth away and reached for her dress.

"What's wrong?" Jane asked, her voice exhibiting signs of disappointment.

"Nothing," Maura said, unable to disguise the flat tone.

"Don't do that," Jane said, as Maura stood up and pulled her dress back on.

"I'm cold."

"I have a blanket in the trunk."

"It's fine."

"No, it's not," Jane said, standing up and reaching her arms out to Maura. She shrugged her away.

"Can you drive me home, please?"

Jane stepped back and gathered up her own clothes. Maura stared out across the city, as the sun began to set over the horizon. Her heart ached. She wanted to lie in Jane's arms, and relish in the moments they'd just spent making each other feel so good. But now she felt empty.

"Let's go."

She turned and followed Jane to the car. Jane's hands clutched tightly to the steering wheel beside her. Maura watched her grip tighten as they set off back towards the city. She was angry and Maura knew it was justified. She'd just slept with her, and then acted like it didn't matter. She knew it was the first time Jane had been with a woman, and that she'd been battling with what that meant from the moment they'd kissed a fortnight ago. If their places were reversed, she would have felt the same way.

At the sorority house, Jane shut off the engine but didn't move to get out of the car. Maura sat in silence.

"I don't understand," Jane said, slamming her hand down on the wheel. "Why would you fuck me if you're just going to act like it doesn't matter?"

"I'm sorry," Maura said, her gaze focused on the cola cans and chip packets scattering the floor of the passenger seat.

"Is this where you tell me it's not you it's me?"

"No," Maura turned to look at Jane, her eyes filled with tears. "No. I wanted that to happen, I wanted to stay and lie there in your arms."

"Instead you're acting like you don't care."

"I do."

"You're really showing that."

"I'm sorry," Maura said again. "I have a lot going on. I just, really needed to feel closer to you."

"So, you fucked me to feel closer to me?"

Maura shook her head. "Please stop saying that word."

"What, fucked?"

"Yes. It's so…vulgar. I made love to you tonight," Maura said, tears catching in her throat. "As corny as that sounds, it's how I feel."

"Then why are you acting like all we did was _fuck_?"

"I told you, I have a lot going on."

"I know we haven't exactly named this," Jane said. "But I don't just go around having sex with anyone. You _can_ talk to me."

"I just," Maura paused. "I can't talk to you about this."

"Why not?"

"It's a family thing, you wouldn't understand."

"You know how overpowering my mother can be."

"Please, Jane," Maura said. "I can't talk to you about this. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You didn't hurt me," Jane said. "I hate that you're upset."

"I'll be okay, in a couple of days."

"Should I call you then?"

"I'll call you."

"Okay," Jane said, placing her lips at the corner of Maura's mouth. "I'll see you."

"Thank you, Jane," Maura said, returning the kiss and deepening it. Their lips parted and she slipped out of the car and shut the door behind her.

She watched as Jane drove away, hating herself for pushing against her in the way that she did. There was nothing she could do now. She turned and walked up the front steps and into the house. At least there she could distract herself with Presidential duties.

* * *

 **Author Note : Thank you for reading. Comments would be appreciated, but so would smiles! :)**


	7. Chapter Six

**Author Notes** **: Hello there! Well, I didn't think I'd be returning to this story, but I had a couple of chapters practically written, so it made sense to just prepare them so I could put them up. Besides, re-reading the story reminded me why I wrote this one in the first place. I am working on the next chapter of Lullaby, I know that needs another update, and I know I have other stories that need attention. It's just been a busy time lately, I got to babysit my nephew today whilst his parents tried to catch up on some sleep. I also have a job interview tomorrow, so lots of things distracting me from my writing. But I keep trying!**

* * *

"I'm glad you called," Jane said, looking up from her mug of coffee. She stared a little longer, allowed her eyelids to flutter closed before opening them again. In the three days since she last saw Maura, since they'd slept together, she'd been distracted. All she could think about was the woman she had such deep feelings for, so quickly. In all of the months and years since leaving high school she didn't anticipate ever being so happy as Maura made her, least not with a woman.

"I'm sorry about everything," Maura said, sliding her hand over Jane's and tucking her fingers around her palm. "My father is a difficult man."

The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. "Difficult in what way?"

Maura shook her head. "Not like that. He loves me, I know he does. He's, I guess you could say, a workaholic."

"You know I'm here for you, right?" Jane squeezed her hand. "Whatever this is between us, I really like you, Maura, and I want you to be happy."

"I really like you too," she said, her smile more relaxed than it was the last time they were together.

Jane listened as Maura talked about school, attempted to contribute her own days at the academy without saying too much. She knew her lie didn't matter, in that her not being a college student wasn't important, but she feared the consequence of admitting the truth. What if Maura hated her for lying?

"Can I walk you home?" she asked. They stood up and moved toward the exit. Maura nodded. She fell into step beside Jane on the walk across the campus.

"I hope I can see you again," Maura said on approaching the entrance to the house.

"Definitely," Jane replied, stopping her. She rested a hand on either side of Maura's cheeks and pressed her lips to soft mouth, she slowly tangled her fingers up in Maura's hair as she trailed her tongue along the edge of her mouth. She raised an eyebrow. "Could we go back to yours?"

Maura sighed. "No. There's strict rules about partners, besides, I'm President."

"Partners?" Jane raised an eyebrow. "Is it one of those old school rules that specifically says boyfriends?"

"I don't know," Maura said. "I could check."

"Please do," she said, tucking her bottom lip under her teeth. "I can wait."

Maura laughed. "It's been wonderful to see you, Jane, but I do have a prior engagement this afternoon. Why don't I look up the rules later and I can call you with my findings?"

"I love it when you talk sciencey," Jane said, slipping her hands around the back of Maura's dress and capturing her lips again.

Maura stepped back, a sigh escaped her mouth as she stared back into Jane's eyes. "I'll see you soon."

"You'd better."

x

Entering the sorority house a week later, a brown box was thrust into her hands by one of the newer sisters. She thanked them and carried it up to her bedroom, where she peeled off the tape and stared inside. Her heart thumped in her chest, the air momentarily vanished from her lungs. She took the gun from its packaging and and left the house.

The gun weighed down her purse, and her mind. Maura couldn't move without feeling the tug of its unwanted danger. Being the daughter of a mobster was not something she desired, and as soon as she was capable of doing so, she planned to distance herself further from him. If he let her. The gun was yet another example of his attempt to keep her safe, and she didn't appreciate it. The best, and only, way he could truly keep her safe was to let her go. They both knew that but only one of them cared to admit it.

She stopped in the middle of the sidewalk when her pager buzzed against her hip. She glanced at the brief message on the screen - the usual 911 from Paddy Doyle himself. She pushed the thought out of her mind and continued her journey.

She sat in her car and dialled her father's number on her cellphone, and waited, and waited, until finally one of his subordinates answered.

"I need to speak to Paddy," she said, her voice more aggressive than she'd ever heard it before.

"No can do, baby," the man said, the drawl of his slow tone sent a chill through her bones. She was fairly certain she'd met him only once before, and he'd had the audacity to grab her ass and shove his tongue down her throat. She would have told her father but she knew doing so would sign his death certificate. It was the only reason she hadn't dared mention her relationship with Jane.

"He paged me. Get him on the phone or I'll tell him what you did to me when I was fourteen."

The phone clicked off. Maura hated what she had to do for her father. She'd have preferred an easier life, a life where she didn't have to order people around. Eventually his voice greeted her at the other end of the phone.

"Do not send packages to school," Maura said, without responding. "Especially not...this one."

"It's for your own safety," he said, he sounded tired. Maura sighed. Her anger dissipated when she heard the sadness in his voice. "O'Neal was killed the morning. You need something to protect yourself."

The human in her felt sorry for her father's loss, but the mobster's daughter knew that they were all playing with fire. "I need to be left alone."

"No," Doyle shouted, his fist banged against his wooden desk. "My enemies are upping the stakes, Maura. It's not safe."

She stayed silent. In many ways she knew he was right. Her safety was impeded when her father got into turf wars with his enemies. But that didn't mean she wanted a gun.

"I need you to come see me," he said. "O'Neal wasn't the only one hurt today. I'm gonna need you to come the second you get a page from now on."

"I have classes."

"Which you won't be able to pay for if I can't keep my men from dying."

She gripped the handle of her purse, agreed to his demand, and started the engine. She drove across the city to his warehouse. When she arrived a man was waiting for her by the entrance. A new recruit, she imagined. He nodded to her and climbed into a vehicle in front. She followed him to another warehouse.

"Again?" she asked, pushing her father's hands away before he could hug her. "Why can't you tell me where to come instead of all this secrecy?"

"And risk them finding out?"

"The cops or the people gunning you down?"

"That little girlfriend of yours, for starters," he said, his teeth gritted so hard that his face grew red.

A lump settled in the back of Maura's throat. Paddy Doyle didn't like being lied to, even lies by omission, and Maura had told a pretty big one. She placed her purse on the floor and closed her eyes. It wouldn't be the first time he'd slapped her, but when the full force of his hand collided with her cheek, she recoiled. The sting distracted her from the things she wanted to say.

"Wait," Maura said, her brow creased as his words settled in her brain. "Why would it matter if Jane knew where you were? I trust her."

"Funny thing, trust," he said, snarling. "I bet you haven't told her about me."

"I have no reason to."

"And did she tell you she's a cop?"

The need to breath stopped in Maura's throat, choking her. She gasped. Her lies were made to protect Jane, to stop her from being hurt by the one man who could ruin everything. She had no idea why Jane would lie to her in return. Unless she knew who she was. The thought crossing her mind hit her in the heart like an arrow firing directly into its target.

"You're lying," she said, but everything fell into place. She never talked about her classes, and if Maura asked the conversation directed quickly back to her. She never saw her on campus, unless she was coming to pick her up, and even then she could only ever come in the evening or at weekends. If she was a senior, like she claimed, then she would have been able to accept the lunch dates Maura asked her to join her on.

"I'm sorry to break it to you, sweetheart," Doyle said, the smile on his face suggested otherwise. "Now, come and fix up Spunky before he bleeds to death."

She followed her father into the back room. Her hands shook with every action. The bullet wedged in his shoulder had caused an awful lot of damage and she knew her hatchet job wouldn't begin to give Spunky the same level of movement back in his arm. The procedure was complex, but when the first gunshot wound came in, Maura studied to give her every chance she could to do it correctly. She knew, deep down, that she was only going to contribute to a long term injury, and that didn't sit well with her.

"I don't want the gun," she said, tossing her surgical gloves into the trash. She lifted the gun from her purse and placed it down on the desk.

"You're keeping it."

Maura gritted her teeth. "I don't feel safe with it."

"You think that girlfriend of yours isn't packing heat?" Doyle asked, a smirk spread across his lips. Maura was certain her father was enjoying her pain a little too much. "She's a cop, Maura. She carries every time you're around her."

"What rank is she?"

"Why does that matter?"

"She doesn't look old enough to be an officer, let alone anything higher."

"She graduated from the academy a couple days ago."

"Right," Maura said, thinning her lips. She slung her purse over her shoulder and made for the exit. In the doorway, she stopped, turning to face her father. "How long have you known?"

"I found out after the party where you met her. Had one of my men follow her."

"The...the party?" Her mouth grew dry. "You've been following me?"

"Don't look so surprised, Maura. Did you really think I'd leave you out there to fend for yourself?"

A lump settled in her throat, the desire to cry overwhelmed her. She nodded her head briefly and walked out of the office and through the warehouse to her car. She unlocked the door and slid into the driver's seat.

A couple of blocks away from the industrial area, Maura pulled into a layby and shut off the engine. The tears came thick and fast, streaming down her face as she contemplated her past, present and future. How long had her father been following her around? Who did he assign to that job? How much did they see? Then there was Jane. Her heart ached at the thought of what it meant for their relationship. Had she fabricated everything to get closer to her? Was she on the job, despite still being in the academy? There were too many questions that she couldn't get the answer to without facing the situation head on.

Once the tears subsided, Maura wiped at her eyes and analysed her appearance in the rear view mirror. Her red cheeks and puffy eyes showed off the emotion that she'd been unable to hold back. She took her travel makeup case from her purse and reapplied her mascara, foundation, and blush, before she looked at least semi-presentable. Then she put the car into drive and set off back to the sorority house.

Seeing Jane waiting for her was a mixed bag of emotions. Maura desperately wanted to fall into her arms and accept the comforting embrace she cherished. But the betrayal lingered between them. She took in a long, deep breath and braced herself for whatever would come next.

"I didn't know you were coming over," Maura said, forcing a smile onto her face.

"I got out early, thought we could get some dinner," she said, the careful wording making her words not quite a bear faced lie. She stepped closer, tucking her fingers into the edge of Maura's belt, her lips so close she could almost taste them. Maura's smile faltered but she forced it back on.

"I have a lot of work to do," Maura said, resting a hand against her shoulder. She allowed Jane to place a small kiss on her lips before she made her way up the steps.

"Okay. I could watch you work. Then when you're finished we can break one of those rules." Jane followed her up the steps, her eyes fixed on Maura's, her lip tucked seductively under her teeth.

"I need to focus," Maura said, stepping back. "I have finals coming up. I can't afford any distractions."

The frostiness in her voice escaped before she could stop it and Jane's grin faded quickly. She could see the questions cross over her face. Maura felt guilty. Either Jane was an exceptional actress, or she genuinely had feelings for her. She retreated.

"I want to see you," she said, allowing the truth in her words to come through. "I just need some time to do my work."

"Okay." Jane slipped her hands into the pockets of her jeans and shrugged her shoulders. Behind the nonchalance, Maura could see disappointment. "I guess I'll see you around. Call me when you have time."

"Yeah," Maura said, allowing Jane to walk away before her emotions got the better of her again. Pushing her away was not her intention, but in that moment too much was going on, and she didn't know whether she could trust her. The loving relationship they'd formed only sought to hurt her further. Feelings or none, if Jane was hiding an undercover operation from her, she didn't think she could forgive her.

x

"All I want is for you to be honest with me."

"I am, Ma," Jane said, clutching the steering wheel a little tighter. The awkward moment with Maura lingered, her heart ached. She hadn't seen her in a few days and she missed her more than she ever thought it possible to miss another human being. "I am not gay."

"But you're in a relationship with a woman," she said.

"No, Ma."

Jane gripped the wheel even tighter and focused her attention on the road ahead. Lying about her relationship didn't sit comfortably. They may not have labelled it, but their level of intimacy was every bit real. When she thought hard enough about it, she could still feel Maura's fingers dancing across her skin as they made love. A layer of sweat covered her palms. She wasn't ready to tell her mother about Maura, she wasn't ready to come out, she just wasn't ready to be having the conversation that her mother insisted upon.

"Jane," she said, her voice laced with a sadness that clawed its way into Jane's heart and smacked her for being so cruel. But she couldn't do it. Maura was hers and she wasn't ready to share.

She turned her attention to her mother for the briefest second. A loud bang rang in her ears and the car was thrust onto one side. It skidded across the tarmac, the friction between the road and the side of the car enough to pull them to a complete stop.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Author Note : Thank you so much to everyone who has commented, favourited/followed, etc. It's lovely to see you're enjoying this story, despite the massive gap between updates. This is the other chapter I already had pretty much written so I hope you enjoy it too. I am really close to finishing the next chapter of Lullaby, so hopefully that'll be with you tomorrow. I would have finished it tonight but I had to go and visit my beautiful nephew, so my heart was too busy.**

* * *

Jane's head started thumping against her temple, an overwhelming pressure she didn't think she'd be able to handle. She felt hazy; couldn't quite remember what she was doing or where she was. The sound of her mother screaming beside her brought her back to reality. She felt the force of her seatbelt against her right side, holding her upright. She blinked through the pain and slight impairment to her vision, her eyes focused on the shattered glass of the windshield.

"Ma," she shouted, reaching her arm out until she felt the warm skin of her mother's bicep. She clung onto it as she turned her head slowly, the possibility of further injuries was not to be ignored. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the redness of blood covering her face. Her stomach twisted up and her lips tingled. "Talk to me."

"Janie," she whispered, her voice so small that Jane could barely hear her, but anything was better than nothing.

Before she could say anything else, a man knocked on the window and shouted to them. Jane turned her head a little too quickly in the opposite direction and pain seared through her body.

"Hold on," he said. "I need you to cover your faces."

Jane reached a hand out and covered her mother's eyes, the dampness of blood seeping into her skin. She sheltered her own face and the window smashed into tiny pieces, showering down on them like hard snowflakes.

"Ma," Jane said, tears filling her eyes. "Remember that winter we stayed home and threw snowballs?"

The memory was fleeting. She knew she was barely old enough to remember. Frankie had to have been a baby. But it filled her with a warmth she couldn't let go of. Not then. Not when their lives hung in the balance.

"The emergency services are on their way," the man said, reaching down to Jane's neck. Under any other circumstance she'd have probably punched him for touching her. He must have sensed her apprehension. "I'm a doctor, Gary, off duty; it's your lucky day. What's your name?"

"It's Jane. I don't feel very lucky," Jane said, finding her mother's pulse point on her neck and trying to focus.

"Your pulse is a little fast, but I think you'll be okay."

"My mom's is slow," she said, not daring to allow her brain to go to the place where she considered what that meant.

"Good job," he said. "I'm going to smash the back window now, so I can try and help her. I need you to stay still."

"Angela," Jane said. "Her name."

"You know what you're doing," he said, the sound of a smile in his voice.

"I'm a cop," she said, the very idea of that felt like a lie. She was barely out of the academy, her job at Boston Police Department hadn't even started yet. "I'm new, but we did an emergency aid training."

"So you should." His voice faded and the window smashed. He clambered through the back of the car and down to the passenger side. "Angela, can you hear me?"

Jane clung to the seat belt holding her steady as the ambulance sped through the streets of Boston. The siren dulled against the throbbing in her head. Her stomach lurched, but she maintained a modicum of calm against the overwhelming desire to vomit. Concussion was likely. Her mind was too distracted by her mother's serious condition to give it much thought.

When the paramedics wheeled her mother away, leaving her alone, Jane crumbled. She lowered into a chair and stared at her feet. Too much time passed. They took her for a scan and checked her over, and though they insisted she stay in a bed until the doctor discharged her, she wandered out into the corridor anyway.

"Excuse me," she said, approaching the nurse's station. "Can I use your phone?"

"Of course," the nurse said, pushing it towards her with a sympathetic smile. "Dial nine for an outside line."

x

On the drive to the hospital, Maura's heart raced along behind her car. Everything she felt for Jane overwhelmed her as she considered what she would do if Jane wasn't okay. The doubts she felt about Jane's feelings dissipated. Jane's physical health sounded fine when she spoke to her on the phone, but she knew how quickly things could turn on a dime. Vehicular accidents were especially complex because of how severely someone could be injured without showing obvious signs. Jane's mental health, should something happen to her mother, was another consideration.

"Jane!" she shouted the moment she saw her talking to a doctor. The need to allow them privacy to discuss - Maura assumed - Jane's mother's condition was surpassed only by her need to wrap her in her arms and tell her how much she really cared. How much she didn't want Jane's betrayal to come between them.

The doctor's head bowed as he walked away. Jane's eyes remained fixed on the door in front of her. Maura took a couple of steps forward.

"Jane," she repeated, tentatively. She twisted around, her eyes full of emotion. Maura reached out to her at the same time she dropped. Her knees giving way so quickly that Maura barely had time to catch her. Her pulse audible in her head. Her first reaction was to call someone, after all, Jane had just collapsed. Had anyone even checked her over? But as they sunk to the floor the dramatic heave of Jane's shoulders and gasps coming from her mouth told Maura all she needed to know. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

She clung to her girlfriend, pressing her face into her hair to rest at the crook of her neck. The involuntary inhalation of her shampoo and deodorant filled her with an emotion she couldn't quite put her finger on. Feeling the emotional wreckage that Jane had become brought tears to her eyes. She couldn't let her father get inside her head. Having never met Jane's mother she didn't know what kind of person she was, all she knew was that Jane talked about her with such reverence that she felt devastation at never being able to convey to her how thankful she was for bringing Jane into the world.

"I'm here," she said, stroking Jane's hair from her face and cupping her cheeks. She placed her lips against Jane's, using just enough pressure to portray her sorrow and love, without being too forceful. She scooped her back into her arms and held her steady as the tears took time to subside.

In the family room, Maura poured them both a plastic cup of stale, instant coffee and cherished her ability to drink it. No matter how horrible it tasted, she appreciated that she was still there to do so.

"Your family," Maura said, broaching the subject with a sensitivity she never quite felt able to reach. No words would ever be good enough.

"They're on their…" Jane said, interrupted as the room filled with two teenage boys and a man who shared a familiarity that Maura could only associate with Jane. "Way."

They stood. Jane's fingers dropped from Maura's. Something she hadn't expected, but could do nothing about. She watched as Jane explained the extent of her mother's injuries and subsequent death with a confidence and clarity that Maura could only assimilate to her police training.

"No," the eldest of the two boys shouted, squaring up to Jane like he was about to swing for her. She stood up taller and overshadowed him.

"Yes, Frankie," she said, staring into his watery eyes.

"No," he repeated, reaching past Jane and slamming his fist into the wall behind her. Maura cowered where the rest of the family stood solid. He paced a couple of feet across the room, then back again, his eyes landed on Maura. "Who the fuck are you?"

"Language," Jane and her father said in unison.

"I don't fucking care," he shouted.

The space between them shrunk and Maura could smell stale body odour. She averted her gaze and focused instead on Jane. Pleading with her to do something to stop her brother's intimidation. She looked back to Frankie and stared into his eyes. The dilation of his pupils was enough to tell Maura what she needed to know.

"Is it crystal meth?" she asked, prompting his fist to rise up behind him, stopped only by Jane's hand pulling him back.

"Don't you dare punch her."

"She has no business being here," he said, fighting against her hold.

"She does," Jane said, her voice smaller and weaker. Her confidence in confronting her brother's drug induced behaviour was stronger than her confidence in facing her family, which made Maura feel a little dejected. It wasn't the time, nor the place, and Maura felt regretful for even considering it.

"Frankie's right," their father said, stepping forwards. "Thank you for being here to support Jane, but this is a family matter."

"She's staying," Jane said, her confidence growing. "I need her to stay."

"Your friend can come visit you later, Janie."

"She's not my friend."

"Then what is she doing here?"

"She's my _girl_ friend."

Silence fell over the room so thick that Maura could almost reach out and touch it. Her eyes darted to Jane's, analysing her expression for something she could use to support her.

"She's your...what?"

"Girlfriend. We've been together for a while."

The words captured Maura's attention. The strength in Jane's words spoke volumes. Maura wished they were alone. Jane reached out, her fingers interlocking Maura's. Mr Rizzoli's defiant expression and disappointed glare made Jane's body wither beside her. Maura felt even worse.

"I need to go," Jane said, not dropping Maura's hand as she made for the door. They exited the stifling room into the corridor and carried on walking until they reached the nurse's station. "I want to see my mom."

Maura squeezed her fingers tighter and rubbed her shoulder, sending all of her sorrow across to Jane.

x

The room was chilled. The body lay on a gurney in the middle, covered by a single sheet. Jane had never seen a dead body before. She'd seen photographs and video footage during her training, but she didn't anticipate how it would feel to see one in person. Let alone the body of the person she loved the most. The nurse folded the sheet down to uncover her face. The cuts on her head had been sutured, presumably before they knew she wasn't going to make it. The damage was minimal, once the blood had been cleaned away. Despite a greyish tint to her skin, she looked as peaceful as if she were sleeping.

"Ma," she said, reaching out for Maura's hand again. She stood by her side, the second most important woman in her life. "This is Maura. I never told you about her, kind of denied who she was, because I was scared. All you did was love me, and try to tell me that you would love me even if I had a girlfriend. I wouldn't listen. I should have listened. I love her, Ma. I love everything about her, and you'd like her. She's smart. She's training to be a doctor. I know she's not the person you thought I'd end up with. But you always said you wanted me to marry a doctor. Not that we're getting married, because, well, we're not allowed, and we're too young. But I love her. I needed you to know. I need you to know."

x

The chill in the air of the room her mother's body was being held in felt considerably cooler than the evening temperatures outside. Jane sat down on a wall, breathing in as much oxygen as she could. The thumping in her temple had subsided after the doctors had given her pain medication, but it had begun to wear off.

"I love you, too," Maura said, her arms practically surgically attached around Jane's body. She felt the comfort of her embrace. The words only topping it off with an extra dose of support.

"Thank you for being here," Jane said, through fresh tears. She clung to Maura. "It makes it so much easier."

"I, Jane, I n," Maura began, but her voice drifted away. Jane's brow creased, and Maura's eyes glazed over. "I…you're welcome."


	9. Chapter Eight

**Author Notes** **: Thank you everyone for your comments, favs and follows. It's great to see so many people interested in this story again after such a long break. Thank you all. It's exciting me again, which helps with the motivation.**

* * *

Maura's eyes threatened to close as she trailed up the staircase, away from the hubbub of sorority girls fussing around an electrician. Nobody noticed the sadness in her heart, or her recent absence, and she didn't quite know what to do with that. For the past three years she'd put her heart and soul into the sorority, making it the best place it could be for herself and everyone around her, and now that she needed them, they weren't there.

She closed her bedroom door, blocking out the noise and the activity. Once again, Maura was glad she had a room to herself. Most girls were not that lucky. She fell onto the bed, regretting it the instant she landed on a small, hard package. She pulled it from under her.

Her heart sank when she realised what it was. Opening the padded envelope, Maura pulled the gun part way out and pushed it back in. She turned the envelope over in her hands. There was no name, no address. They had a designated location for storing packages, and it was not there. Maura sighed. She didn't have the energy to argue with her father about it again. She climbed off the bed and opened her closet. In the back, she found a shoebox, with a pair of boots she never wore. Inside the left boot she stuffed the package away and returned it to its location. On her way back to the bed, her cell phone started ringing.

"It's only been half an hour," Maura said, lying down on her bed and resting the phone against her ear.

"I know," Jane said. "I just wanted to say thank you, again, for being there."

"I wouldn't have been anywhere else."

"I love you."

"I love you too." Maura closed her eyes and listened to the sound of Jane breathing down the handset. She pictured her hands wrapped around her body, the last touch of her lips before they'd said farewell. "I'm sorry you had to need me to be there."

"I know."

"How are your family holding up?"

"Frankie's gone awol."

"Oh no," Maura said, sitting upright. "Do you want me to help look for him?"

"No." Jane sighed. "Pop thinks we should leave him for tonight. It's been hard on the boys. I wish there was more I could do."

"It's understandable. They've just lost their mother, you all have. It's been less than twenty-four hours, don't be so hard on yourself."

"It's hard not to be," Jane said. "I don't know what your family are like but mine are very traditional, the men go out to work, the women keep house. I'm the oldest, and the only girl, I know Pop will expect me to do more for the boys."

"Do you want to do more for them?"

She fell silent, only her breath could be heard on the other end of the line. Maura listened, and waited. She expected the silence to feel uncomfortable, under the circumstances, but it didn't.

"I love them. I want to help them, but I don't want to be their mother."

"Nor should you have to be."

"No."

Another silence followed. Maura closed her eyes and settled back against her pillows. She could hear a couple of girls talking to each other outside her door. If she'd had the energy she'd have requested they take it somewhere else. Instead she just waited, and eventually they dispersed.

"Have you had any sleep yet?" Maura asked, feeling the jiggle of her jaw as she let her mouth open wide. She wiped at a couple of tears that strolled down her cheeks.

"Nah. I can't."

"I admire your perseverance, Jane, but you've been in a car accident. For that reason alone, you should rest. Even if you just lie in bed."

"I am." She sighed again. "I'm lying in the dark, and all I can think about is my seventh birthday when I woke up screaming from a nightmare and Ma climbed into bed with me and held me as I fell asleep."

Maura felt a couple of real tears skirt the edge of her eyelids. "Oh, Jane."

"I don't know how I can do this without her."

"I wish I knew how you could," Maura said. If she could reach through the phone and hold her, she would do. "I wish your dad hadn't insisted I go home. I wanted to stay with you tonight."

"I wanted you to stay with me."

"Are you sure you won't come here?"

"I need to be at home right now."

"Would you like me to stay on the phone with you, until you fall asleep?"

"It might take all night."

"I have all night."

x

"I'm Officer Rizzoli, I'm here for an induction," Jane said, approaching the front desk at the police department.

The office barely glanced up from his newspaper. "Induction was yesterday."

"I know." She rubbed her tired eyes. Sleep had been a luxury for the last forty eight hours. Frankie hadn't returned home, and making arrangements for her mother's funeral had taken every bit of energy she had left, and then some. "I'm sorry. Can I please speak to the officer in charge of the induction?"

He picked up a phone, his voice quiet under the backdrop of the busy entrance hall. His eyes still focused away from Jane. She leaned against the desk and watched him, waited as he hung up the phone. He returned to his paper without a word.

Jane waited. She didn't want to ask more of him than she already had. She didn't want to have to be there at all but in the wake of her mother's death, all prior engagements had been forgotten.

Eventually an older man wearing a suit approached the desk. The man sat behind it folded his newspaper up and gave him his full attention. "This is Officer Riz..."

"Rizzoli," Jane said, jumping in before he could finish.

He glared at her. "She's here for the induction."

"The induction was yesterday, Officer." He turned to face her, stood square on as though to intimidate her. She didn't let his tactics bother her. "Please explain your tardiness."

"I'm sorry, sir. I, I couldn't come yesterday because I had to be with my family."

"Family matters are family matters and not of relevance to your position as a law enforcement officer."

"I know that, sir. My mother died two days ago and my brother is missing."

"Ah." The crease between his eyebrows deepened. For a moment Jane wasn't sure whether he was being sympathetic or judgemental. "Then I suggest you take a leave of absence, call HR and rearrange your induction."

Her whole body relaxed. Relief set in. She smiled her best smile, even if it was a little fake, and held out a hand. He accepted it.

"Thank you, sir. I appreciate it."

x

Maura pulled on a pair of latex gloves whilst walking across the warehouse toward her father's office. She'd bought a box which she kept in her car in preparation for the instances where her father required her medical attention. Inside the office, Paddy Doyle sat behind his desk. Maura searched the small room for her patient, but he was alone.

"I got a nine-one-one."

"I want to take you out to dinner," he said, standing up. He wrapped a hand around her shoulder and kissed her head. Maura responded, tucking her hand behind his back. "How is my baby girl?"

"Tired," she said. "Where's the emergency?"

"I wanted to see you, to invite you out."

"That's all?"

He gritted his teeth. "What do you mean that's all? Don't bite the hand that feeds you, haven't I taught you anything?"

She sighed and stayed silent. She glanced down at the floor and removed the gloves, disposing of them in a trash can in the corner of the room. She couldn't remember at which point she'd lost all sense of joy in her father's company.

"I will go to dinner with you."

"There's a good girl," he said, picking up an envelope from the table and pushing it into her hands. "For a vacation."

She opened the envelope and stared at the thousands of dollars inside. Her hands shook. The more she accepted his blood money, the more uncomfortable it made her feel.

"Why?" she asked, staring into Doyle's eyes. "Why are you giving me this?"

"I thought you should enjoy the summer," he said. "You've earned it. Take a week, come back, work for me until you go to medical school in the fall."

"I don't want to."

"Now, now, Maura." He wrapped his hands around her shoulders. "I'm offering you time off, take it."

"No."

"I need you on top form. That means you take a break when I tell you to take a break so you'll be ready. My intelligence says there's trouble brewing and I need you to be on top form."

"I don't want to," she said.

"You will do as a I say, Maura Dorothea Doyle. Or so help me God."

"So help you God? What are you going to do to me, dad? Hurt me? Kill me?"

He stepped closer, his body overshadowing her. She stared up into his eyes and fought against the desire to wither under his steely glare.

"I am capable of things you would never imagine, things I've shielded you from for a long time. Do not cross me, Maura. I may not be capable of murdering my own daughter, but believe me, I can do far worse than end your sorry excuse for a life."

"You're just trying to scare me. You wouldn't do that. You wouldn't hurt me."

"No?" His laugh was hollow, sinister. Maura swallowed a lump in her throat. "She's a feisty one, your girlfriend."

"What, what do you mean?"

"She's not an easy one to rattle."

"Have you been spying on me again? What did you do?"

"I've been keeping you safe, Maura. There's a difference. I thought it would take less to bring her down, she's proving me wrong."

"What...take her down?"

"The mother was collateral damage. It will do for now. But any wrong move and she's gone, do you understand?"

The air in her lungs vanished. Maura reached a hand out to the desk beside her. Her whole body lost strength. She was still recovering from the lack of sleep, from the emotional drain of the last two days.

"You didn't," she said, forcing power back into her voice. "I can't...believe. No. No. You can't just go around killing people."

"Funny that," he said. "Because I think we both know I already have done."

"So, what?" she asked, tears strolled down her cheeks. She clenched her fists at her sides. "Is this some kind of warning that if I don't take a vacation then patch up your workers, you'll kill Jane?"

"Kill, dispose of, torture her until she's nothing more than a shell." He smirked. "When you love someone, you'll do anything to protect them."

"You don't know a thing about love." A fire burned in the pit of Maura's stomach. Jane was broken because of her father. She could have died because of him. "You're a bitter and twisted old man who has never loved anyone."

His hand collided with her cheek, knocking her backwards.

"Never. Ever. Speak to me like that. Never doubt my love for your mother."

She lifted her fingers up to tingling skin and felt where his ring had sliced open her cheek. Of all the instances where he'd slapped her, not one had been quite so forceful, or damaging. Her whole body shook. She stared in horror. She knew all too well about his infatuation with Hope. He'd almost destroyed her, then went back for more. She felt fresh tears coat the cut, painfully mixing with wet blood. She turned tail and fled the office.


	10. Chapter Nine

**Author Notes** **: Thank you to everyone who has commented, favourited, and followed. I'm making progress with this fic, which is good, because it should get finished now. I hope you've been enjoying it. I will be updating Lullaby soon, no doubt, along with writing one-shots here and there.**

* * *

The door to the Delta Theta Nu house stood open when Maura arrived home. She hovered at the bottom of the steps, aware of the movement inside the house, and the ramifications if she walked in there with a cut on her cheek. A rumble of thunder travelled across the sky. When the heavens opened, Maura rushed into the house.

Standing in the doorway, her eyes darted from sister to sister to uniformed man with a dog. She narrowed her eyes and approached her second in command.

"What's going on, Ellen?" Maura asked.

"Random drug search," Ellen replied.

"I wasn't aware we were having one."

"It was in the last bulletin."

"I must have overlooked it," Maura said.

"What happened to you?"

"Nothing," she said, her eyes trained on the dog walking around the room, searching the premises for any narcotics.

"Doesn't look like nothing. If you need someone to come with you to the police station, we can arrange for it."

"I know." The uniformed man and dog moved towards the staircase. Her heart raced, her mind drifted up to the shoebox in her closet. "Are they checking every room?"

Ellen rolled her eyes. "You know they always do. Did whoever did that to you knock your understanding of policy out the window?"

"I'm tired," she said. "It's been a busy week."

She walked across the room toward the staircase, taking them two at a time. She hovered at the top of the stairs, until the uniformed man and dog disappeared into one of the bedrooms, then retrieved the box from her closet.

"What the hell are you doing, Maura?" she asked herself, turning around. She could hear the dog's bark across the hall. Her heart thrummed louder, vibrating against her eardrum. Another bedroom door opened and closed. Maura picked up a bag and shoved the shoebox into it, before lowering it carefully out of the window until it landed on the grass between the fence and the wall of the house.

Her bedroom door opened just after she'd closed her window. The man frowned. "You shouldn't be in here."

"I'm the president," Maura said, picking up some papers from her desk and forging a smile. "I had to get something for a meeting. I didn't have time to wait for you to be done."

"You alright there?" he asked, nodding at her face.

"I'm fine," she said, lowering her gaze and brushing her hair across her cheek.

"There's people who can help, you know, if your boyfriend gets angry."

"I know." She forged another smile and walked past him. "I have to go to my meeting now."

x

The gun in the shoebox in the trunk of her car weighed heavily on her mind, distracting her as she drove across town toward Jane's house. Her heart still raced, her body screamed at her to escape from her current situation. She couldn't. She had no way to avoid the cut on her face, or the gun sitting in the back of her car.

"What the hell, Maura?" Jane cupped her cheeks as soon as she'd opened the door, careful not to touch the cut. "What happened? You look like you've been roughed up."

"I'm okay," she said, lowering her gaze. She breathed in deeply, forcing oxygen into her lungs. Jane wrapped her arms around her shoulders and pulled her close, instantly settling her fragile nerves.

"You don't look okay. Talk to me."

"Not now."

Jane narrowed her eyes and rubbed the back of her hand across her uninjured cheek. "Okay."

"Is Frankie home?"

Jane sighed. "Not yet. Pop's gone looking for him."

"Do you want some help?"

"Nah. He's got some friends from work helping. I need to stay here with Tommy. D'you wanna come in?"

She'd never set foot inside the house before, Maura stared around at the lounge, at the warn furniture and the homely feel of pictures and childish artwork around the place. She picked up a clay pot, wonky and bent out of shape.

"Frankie made that when he was ten."

She returned it to its spot and picked up a photo of the whole family. "She was beautiful."

"She was."

Turning around, Maura slipped her hands around Jane's waist and pulled her into her arms. She felt the sting of tears on the edges of her eyelids, pushing past the need to cry. She clung to her, desperate to feel the comfort of her girlfriend's arms. Jane took a step back and cupped her cheeks again, capturing her lips. Maura deepened the embrace, her fingers danced across the waistline of Jane's pants, slipping them along sensitive skin. She trailed one up and under the edge of her shirt.

"No," Jane whispered, pushing her hands away. "Not here. Tommy's upstairs."

"I want you so much right now," Maura muttered, trailing her lips across her chin.

She stepped back, putting some distance between them. "I don't want to."

Ignoring her, Maura tugged at the hem of Jane's shirt and lifted it upwards. Jane pushed her hands away.

"I said, no, Maura. My mom died two days ago, I'm not in the fucking mood."

Maura took a step back, her eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry. I just…it's been a bad day."

"You and me both." Jane lowered her gaze, her eyes filled with tears. "Frankie drives me insane but I want him home."

"I know." Maura stepped forward again and scooped her up into her arms. She ran a hand across her back, holding her tightly. "I'm sorry everything's so difficult."

x

Cailin tugged at her sleeve. Maura absently stabbed a couple of green beans with her fork, purposefully ignoring the childish taunting of her little sister. She pushed the beans around her plate. The gun still weighed heavy in her mind, sitting in the trunk of her car like a flat tyre she hadn't found the time to take to the shop.

"How was your week, honey?"

Maura glanced up. Her mother stared at her from across the table, a smile plastered on her face.

"It was fine."

"Are you done with finals?"

"Yes."

"We thought we'd go away after graduation," Hope said. "Would you like to come with us?"

"Sure."

Cailin wrapped her arm around Maura's upper arm, her feet firmly on the floor. Maura turned to her, about to shout, but she stared up at Maura, curiosity housed in those tiny person eyes. Maura smiled and scooped her up, lifting her onto her lap.

"You look sad, Maura."

"Don't be so rude, Cailin," Hope said.

"But she does." She rested her little finger against Maura's cheek and caught a teardrop as it rolled down her face. Sometimes it was hard to believe the attentive little girl was three. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm sorry," Maura said, pushing Cailin off her lap and marching out of the room. She swallowed the lump in her throat, fighting the tears that welled up against her eyelids.

She closed her bedroom door behind her and threw herself onto the bed. She relished in the moment's peace, the quiet of her bedroom. At home, there was little distraction outside her room. At home, people left her alone if there was a small plumbing issue or a broken glass.

"Maura."

Hope tapped at her door. Maura wiped her cheeks with the corner of her pillow and glanced at her reflection in the mirror beside her bed. She spat onto her fingers and wiped at her red, blotchy cheeks, until they looked a little less dramatic. At home, someone always made sure she was okay.

"Come in," she said, sitting up with her hands clutched over her knees.

"What's going on?" Hope asked, perching on the edge of the bed and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "You've been in a weird mood for weeks now. I wasn't going to say anything, but I can't ignore it any longer."

"I'm fine," she muttered, laughing at how much like Jane she sounded.

Hope turned and placed a hand on each of her cheeks, holding her face steady. "My baby girl. You can talk to me. If this is about that boyfriend of yours. Did you get the cut on your face from him?"

Maura pressed a finger to the small cut, still healing. She lowered her gaze. "I've not been with him for a while. It's not his fault."

"Then what happened?"

She sighed, knowing she had to be honest. She was the only person who understood.

"Patrick."

The hands dropped from Maura's cheeks. Hope stood up, her eyes burning with anger. She shook her head, her mouth agape as she tried to speak.

"It's okay," Maura said.

"It is not okay, Maura." Hope paced back and forth, continuing to shake her head. "That man has a lot to answer for. I think him and I need to have words."

"Please, don't." She slouched down in her spot on the bed. "He won't pay for medical school if I don't listen to him."

"So he's blackmailing you?"

"You say that like you've never met him," Maura said. "You don't know what it's like for him right now. He's under a lot of pressure."

"That is no excuse for hitting his own daughter. None."

"Just let me handle this, please." Maura reached out and tugged at her mother's sleeve, pulling her back toward her. Hope sat back down beside her and enveloped her into her arms. Maura sunk against her side. "I have a girlfriend."

"What's her name?"

"Jane." Maura wiped at fresh tears with her palm.

"Is she nice?"

"She's amazing," Maura said, her face lit up. "I've never felt this way about anyone."

Hope cupped her face again, wiping away the last of her tears. She leaned in close. "You'll have to invite her over for dinner, next weekend?"

"I'll ask."

x

"Frankie's home."

Jane lay on her bed, the phone pressed against her ear, recent tears dried against her cheeks. She closed her eyes and listened to the slow, methodical sound of Maura's breath on the other end of the line.

"I'm so glad."

"Me too." She tapped her foot against the end of the bed. "Pop's giving him hell, but I know he's glad. We didn't want him to miss the funeral."

"When is it again?"

"Tomorrow at twelve."

"I'll be there."

"Are you sure?" Jane felt a couple of tears stroll down the sides of her face, one landed in her ear. She wiped at it with her knuckle. "I know you've got a lot going on."

"I wouldn't miss this for anything, Jane."

She tried to swallow, but the threat of more tears ached in her throat. "Thank you."

x

The service was harder than Maura expected it to be. She clutched Jane's hand from the moment they sat down right through to the end, despite her father's warning glares, and the judgemental comments of Jane's aunts behind them.

"Jane, time to thank everyone for coming," Frank Rizzoli Senior said.

Jane nodded, pulling Maura along behind her.

"Not her."

"But," Jane tried to say, but he cut her off before she could finish.

"Not for this."

"Okay," Jane said, glancing apologetically before following her father and brothers out into the entranceway.

Maura hung back, watching them say their thank yous to the mourners. She listened to the respectful words they all shared. The fake smile that Jane plastered on her face when one of her aunts kissed her cheek. Maura waited until the last of the mourners had left the church before approaching the family.

"I'm so sorry for your loss," she said, feeling a level of guilt she hoped she could disguise. She hugged Tommy, whom she had come to care about in the days they'd spent waiting at home while Frank searched for the eldest Rizzoli boy. She placed a hand on Frankie's shoulder. "I'm glad you made it home in time."

"Whatever," he said, shrugging her hand away. Maura lowered her gaze, knowing that the enlarged pupils were a sign that his time away, nor his mother's death, had curbed his drug use.

She stepped across to his father, and held out a hand. "Thank you for allowing me to support Jane. I'm so sorry."

He stared down at her hand, then across to Jane. Maura followed his gaze. Her heart ached at the look of expectation, and hope, lingering in her eyes. He forged a smile, not unlike Jane's, and took her hand.

"Thank you for coming."


	11. Chapter Ten

**Author Notes : Thank you for reading the last chapter, I'm really enjoying writing this one, and I'm glad some of you are enjoying it, too. It seems to be flowing freely at the moment, and I hope it will continue to do so on through to the end.**

* * *

Maura stood against the wall by the door, watching the crowd of mourners share stories, and discuss the life of Angela Rizzoli. She clutched a glass of lemonade in her hand, it was her only distraction from the absurdity of the situation. She had contributed to the grief in the room, she was the reason Tommy sat in a chair still crying his eyes out about the loss of his mother. She was the reason Jane milled around the house with snacks and fresh drinks, her aunts' still passing judgment on her every move.

"Sorry I'm late traffic was horrendous, I'm glad I didn't miss the whole thing," someone said, approaching the aunts. She sat down beside them and glanced around the room. When her eyes landed on Maura, she lowered her voice.

"Who's that?"

"Frank won't tell us, but the way they're acting, I'd say she's Jane's girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" She rested a hand over her mouth. Maura stared ahead, ignoring them as best as she could. "Angela would be turning in her grave."

She placed her glass down on the shelf beside her and headed for the kitchen. She couldn't listen to their judgments any longer. Jane had vanished, only her father and a man she didn't recognise stood at the far side. They stared at her as she carried on through to the back door. She opened it and escaped the claustrophobic environment.

The yard was small, filled with potted plants and a swing set that had seen better days. A bike lay on its side at the far end, beside it, Frankie leaned against a wooden table, a rolled up piece of paper to his nose as he snorted up a white powder.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you," Maura said.

He turned, knocking a pot over, water seeped across the table, soaking up the last of the powder.

"You fuckin' idiot," he shouted, scooping at what was now a mush. He slammed his hand down on the table and glared at her.

"I'm sorry." She stepped forward. "But drugs don't help, not in the long term. What is it anyway? Meth? Cocaine?"

"You owe me twenty bucks."

"So it's meth."

"I said you owe me twenty bucks." He stepped toward her, his eyes burning with rage.

Maura stood her ground. She'd seen enough drugs through her father, and had dealt with the effects from the people who worked for him. She stared into Frankie's eyes, already large with the effects. She narrowed her eyes. She doubted he'd been off it all day.

"Are you addicted?"

"No."

"I bet it feels pretty great right now, you've got so much more energy than usual."

"You know nothin' about me," he shouted, his face inches from her own.

She stared him down. "But you will come down. There's a good chance you'll suffer from drug related illness, maybe eventually you'll become psychotic, maybe you'll suffer brain damage."

"You know fuck all, so fuck off," he screamed.

"You could suffer a stroke, your lungs or kidneys could fail, or you could die. Do you want to die?"

He stared back, his eyebrows pulled together, he gritted his teeth, his fist balled at his side. "Stop tryin' to scare me."

"I'm not trying to scare you. I'm presenting the facts."

"Fuck the facts." He inched closer. "Fuck you."

"You're just upset about your mother," Maura said. She stepped back but he grabbed her wrist.

"Don't talk about Ma. You know nothing about it."

She let him hold her wrist, knowing that eventually he would have to let go. "I know it hurts, to lose someone."

"Shut the fuck up," he shouted, gripping tighter. He grasped her other hand. "You're just a fucking dyke who knows nothin'. I bet all you need is a good fuck by a real man."

The rage in his eyes, the smirk on his lips, worried Maura. She thought she could at least talk some sense into him, even though she knew he'd already presented a sense of paranoia. It was stupid of her really, she knew that, now he was holding her there.

"A great, proper, fuck," he whispered, pulling her round until her back was to the table. She tried to push him off but his grip on her wrists was too tight. She could smell alcohol on his breath, and intense body odour. The table pressed into her back. He grinned, one hand reaching down to the zipper on his pants. His mouth moved across her cheek, wet lips trailed across her skin. She turned her face as far to the side as she could get. Her heart drummed faster. She tried to breath but fear stopped her momentarily.

"Get off me," she shouted, using every ounce of energy age had to hit him hard across the face. He stepped back, stunned, then moved toward her again.

"Get away, Frankie!"

Jane appeared out of nowhere and wrapped her arms around his chest, pulling him backward. She tossed him across the yard, he fell onto the floor a few feet away. Maura still leaned against the table, her eyes wide, her heart raced. Jane pulled her into her arms and Maura clung to her.

"I'm sorry," she said, stroking a hand down Maura's face. "Come back inside."

"I should just go," Maura said.

"Why? I need you here."

"What the hell is going on out," he stopped speaking, Frank Senior stood on the other side of the yard staring from his son on the floor, to Jane and Maura, arm in arm. Behind him, a small crowd of Jane's aunts gathered at the door. "What did you do to your brother?"

"How about what did he do to Maura?" Jane asked, loosening the embrace.

"He's grieving, it's not his fault," Frank said, stalking across the lawn and helping Frankie to his feet. He rested a hand on the back of his neck. Frankie shrugged it off. "He's just a kid."

"A kid who attacked my girlfriend."

"Your girlfriend." Frank shook his head. "You're talking crap again, Jane."

"No, I'm not."

Maura stepped away, but Jane pulled her back. She wrapped an arm around Maura's waist and leaned in, brushing her lips softly against Maura's before deepening the kiss. Her hands trailed across Maura's body. If they hadn't been in full view of half her family, Maura would have responded, desperate to feel her close. Eventually, she pulled away, her eyes on the ladies gasping by the door.

Jane smiled at them, at her father. "She's my girlfriend, and I love her. You don't have to like it, but it is what it is."

"Then get out," he screamed, holding up his hand. "You get out of this house, disrespecting your mother's memory. She would be so angry."

"She loved me," Jane said, stepping toward her father. She stood inches from his face. "Ma loved me no matter what, she was happy for me. If you can't see that she didn't care if I was gay, then I don't wanna live here anyway."

She turned, reached for Maura's hand and together they walked out the side gate.

x

They pulled up outside a small townhouse in a quiet neighbourhood on the other side of Boston. Jane glanced out the window at the street, much cleaner and tidier than her own. She thrummed her fingers across her knee.

"Where are we?"

"This is where I live," Maura said. "When I'm not in school."

"Oh." Jane took another look. Maura rarely talked about her family, unlike Jane, who had shared almost everything about hers with Maura. "It's nice."

Maura shrugged. "It's nothing special, but it's home."

She opened her door and climbed out. Jane followed her lead. She hovered by the car until Maura reached a hand out, she linked her fingers with Maura's and they walked together up to the front door. Inside, a woman, who looked like an older version of Maura, greeted them with a smile. Jane let go of her hand.

"Two visits in one week, to what do I owe this pleasure?" Hope asked, kissing Maura on the cheek.

"This is Jane, my girlfriend," she said, clasping her hand again. "Jane, this is my mother, Hope."

"It's lovely to meet you. You have a nice home."

Hope tilted her head from one side to the other, her smile never faltered. She stepped forward and enveloped Jane, pulling her tightly into her arms. "It's wonderful to meet you, you make Maura so happy. I was very sorry to hear about your mother."

Taken aback, Jane barely moved in her arms, allowing Hope to guide the embrace until she eventually pulled away. Jane forged a smile, though she felt the sting of tears on the edge of her eyelids. The day had taken its toll and Jane hadn't allowed herself to shed a tear. Hope's friendliness, and interest, pushed her past her ability to cope.

"I'm sorry," Jane said, turning around and walking back out the front door.

She stood on the doorstep, staring out at the quiet street. A dog ran down the sidewalk, followed by a small boy, and an older girl behind them both. Her heart ached as she thought of her own family. She missed Tommy, and knew he'd be missing her too when it came to bedtime. She wiped the backs of her hands across her face.

"Was that too much?" Maura asked, resting a hand on her shoulder as she joined her on the doorstep.

Jane sighed. "Today's been hard."

"I hope I didn't make it worse."

"No." She turned to face her. She brushed her lips with her own. She wiped again at her cheeks. "You've made it easier. I don't know how I'd have got through it without you."

"It's what I'm here for," Maura said, cupping her cheek and brushing fresh tears aside. Maura kissed her other cheek, stopping them in their tracks. "You're welcome to stay here tonight, if that would help."

"Is it okay with your mom?"

"She's fine with it."

Jane nodded. She wrapped her arms around her, clinging to her. She stepped back and rested a hand over her mouth, as a yawn took over.

"You look tired."

"I haven't been sleeping well."

"Why don't we go to my room? You don't have to sleep, but maybe you can get some rest."

x

Lying down beside Jane, Maura wrapped her arms around her. She nuzzled her nose against her neck and listened to the gentle sound of her every breath. Jane turned in her arms, until her face was inches from Maura's.

"This is why I love you," Jane said, stroking her palm across her cheek. "You've been there for me, you've made the worst week of my life a little easier."

"It's what I'm here for," Maura said.

Jane lifted her leg up, sliding her ankle across Maura's lower leg, trailing her toes across her skin. She drew circles over her face, following the contours of her skin. Maura smiled, cherishing the moment of intimacy. She moved her fingers along Jane's thigh, running her fingernails over the fabric of her slacks.

"How much privacy do you get?" Jane asked, nibbling her earlobe.

"We've got a couple hours before my stepdad gets home and dinners ready." She tangled her fingers up around Jane's hair. "Nobody's going to bother us til then."

"Good."

Capturing her lips, Jane rolled herself on top of Maura, sliding her body up and across her. She slid her leg back over her leg, her foot moving back and forth across bare skin. Maura held her head close, deepening the kiss with every movement of her lips. Jane's hands moved across her thighs, skirting under the edge of her dress, pushing the fabric up and around Maura's hips. She reached up and around herself, tugging at the zipper, which Jane pulled the rest of the way down. Maura moaned against her neck, nibbling her skin. She fought the button and zipper on Jane's pants, her breath caught in her throat as Jane's hands slipped into the band of her panties. She bucked her hips up to meet her touch, pushing her panties down her legs and kicking them away. She sat up, making it easier to pull Jane's pants away. She leaned back down, nibbling and kissing Jane's body through the fabric of her shirt. She pushed her fingers under the band of Jane's underwear and moved forwards, pushing them closer together with every touch.


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Author Notes** **: I know this one isn't as popular as my other stories, but I'm still so glad to anyone who is reading it. It's a bit different to what I'm used to writing, I'm not a big fan of AU stories, so I'm glad you're enjoying it. I guess this is number three of updates today, haha.**

* * *

"Have you thought about what you're going to do yet?" Maura asked, drawing hearts across Jane's bare back. "My mother is very welcoming, but she has her limits. It's already been three days."

Jane rested her head against her arms, folded on top of the pillow. "I don't know."

"Now that school's out, you can't apply for housing."

"No." Jane pushed her face against her arms.

Maura watched her disguise herself, could see her attempt to mask whatever expression she couldn't hide. She leaned down and pressed her lips to her back, trailing kisses across her shoulders. She straddled her from behind and clawed her fingers along her skin, sending her mouth in their wake. She nibbled and licked her way down Jane's back, pushing aside the worry that the love they shared would all fall apart if only they were completely honest with each other. She pushed a hand beneath Jane's stomach, and she shifted a little, until her fingers could reach their destination. They moved together, fingers on skin, lips on fingers, until Jane shuddered and fell forward against the bed. Maura rolled onto her back and closed her eyes. She thought about everything she knew, everything she'd tried to forget. She still didn't know if Jane knew more than she let on, if what she felt was as real as the sun shining high in the sky. She didn't open her eyes even when Jane's mouth sucked and nibbled it's way down her body. Instead, she kept her eyes closed, tangling her fingers up in dark brown locks as she allowed herself to rise and fall with the tide.

x

"I don't have any friends."

Jane sat on the edge of Maura's bed, her legs dangling down the side, her toes pressed against the plump carpet. She bowed her head. Five days had passed. She knew she had to go soon, that much was clear in the way Maura talked about her mother. Even Hope herself had gently reminded her that it was a temporary arrangement.

"I don't know where to go."

Maura sighed and rested a hand against her shoulder blade. She tilted her cheek against it, comforted by the familiarity of her scent.

"We could go somewhere together," Jane said.

"Go where?" Maura asked.

"Anywhere but here."

"I can't." She lowered her gaze.

Jane watched her. It wasn't the first time she'd tried. She couldn't afford somewhere on her own, it was her only real shot at getting her own place. But the look in Maura's eyes when she suggested it broke her heart.

"Why not?" The question seemed to shock Maura, her eyebrows knitted together, she turned away. Jane kneeled up on the bed and grasped her hands. "I'm serious, Maura. You've finished school, you can do anything you want to now."

"I go back in the Fall for medical school."

"Take a break," she said, not letting go of her fingers. Her face lit up with excitement, with anticipation. "We could take a year, together, you and me. Let's just get in one of our cars and drive across country. I've always wanted to see California, have you ever been?"

"Once. I was eight. All I remember is getting sick in the car from the airport."

"Let's do it," Jane said. "We could go tonight."

"You don't have anything," Maura said. "No clothes, nothing."

"Who needs clothes when we've got each other?"

"You make it sound simple, easy."

"Isn't it?"

"No." Maura shook her head, any hint of light vanished. "It's anything but."

"Then I'll go alone," Jane said standing up and walking across the room. She slipped on her funeral outfit and put a couple of t-shirts she picked up at a thrift store into a bag. She walked out of the room and retrieved her toothbrush from the bathroom.

Back in the hallway, Maura stood in her doorway, tying her robe around her waist. "Don't go."

"Why not?" Jane shrugged. "I have no place else to be. I can't go home. I might as well get as far away from here as I possibly can."

"I know where you can stay," Maura said.

Jane stared at her for several minutes. There was something in the way Maura stared back that unsettled her. She didn't respond, just watched, waited.

"I have a tent," she said. "We could go to our spot."

"Sounds good to me," Jane said, dropping her bag on the floor and wrapping her arms around Maura's shoulders.

She trailed her lips across her neck, picking her up around the thighs and carrying her back into the bedroom. Jane lay her down and covered her in kisses, pressing her fingers across every inch of skin until Maura screamed her name into a pillow.

x

"There's a blanket in the trunk," Maura said, switching off the engine and reaching into the back of the car for the tent.

Jane walked around to the back of the car and opened up the trunk. She moved a couple of jackets aside. She picked up a small purse and tossed it on top of the jackets. Inside a bag she found a torch, a pump, and a fire extinguisher. In the final bag she found a shoebox.

"Err, Maura, I can't find a blanket," she said, holding open the shoebox. Maura walked around to the back of the car. "But I did find a gun."

" _Oh_."

"What the hell are you doing carrying a weapon around in a shoebox in your trunk?"

Maura tried to speak but the words came out a tumbled mess. "I, I don't...protection, I suppose."

"You suppose." Jane gritted her teeth. "This thing could kill somebody."

"You say that like you hate guns," she said.

Jane rolled her eyes. "On civilians, yeah."

"Civilians, right." Maura narrowed her eyes. Jane frowned. "So your gun makes you, what? If you hate guns on civilians so much, why do you have one?"

Taking a step back, Jane stared at her. Her mind drifted back and forth searching for an answer to her question. "How do you know I have one?"

"I..."

"What the hell is going on Maura?" She returned the shoebox to the trunk and slammed the door shut, folding her arms across her chest. "You showed up a last week looking like you'd had two bells knocked out of you, now you're carrying a gun."

"It's complicated."

"It's not that complicated. Is somebody making you feel unsafe? Is that who hit you? Between what happened with Frankie, and whoever's been hurting you..."

Maura averted her gaze. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"I can't, Jane."

"You have to tell me something, Maura." Alarm bells started ringing and Jane didn't like it. After everything she'd been through, she didn't want to have to cope with Maura betraying her. "You say you love me then you keep things from me."

"Like you're not keeping anything from me."

"Nothing that matters," she said.

"So, you are."

Jane sighed. She'd toyed with telling her the truth, it didn't really matter anymore, in the grand scheme of everything that'd happened. "Yes."

A silence fell over them. In the distance she could hear a couple of birds having a conversation, a gentle breeze rustling through the trees. She marched up the path toward their spot. Maura followed close behind.

"Will you tell me what you're keeping from me?" Maura asked.

"Stop trying to distract me," Jane said. The words were easier thought than said. She turned to face her. She couldn't handle Maura keeping things from her, not now. Her own secret was of little importance. "You're hurt and you won't talk to me. I need to know what happened, who hurt you."

"Why?"

"So I can protect you."

"I don't need your protection."

"You need something cause that cut on your face didn't get there by itself."

"My dad."

A chill travelled up Jane's spine, her eyes bugged. She stared at her, analysing the cut, searching her face for some other sign of evidence.

"Your dad did that?" She reached out to the small purse over Maura's arm. She pulled it back. "Where's your phone?"

"Why do you want my phone?"

"So I can call the cops on his abusive ass."

"Please, Jane." The anger building in Jane's body was not mirrored by Maura. Instead her face broke into the saddest expression Jane had seen since her mother's death. "It's not as simple as that. I wish it was."

"Bullshit." Jane rested a hand on each of her shoulders, forcing her to look into her eyes. She spoke slowly, clearly. "If a father is abusing his daughter he should be locked up. What else has he done to you? Is that why what happened with Frankie didn't upsetting you? Because of your dad?"

"No. Jane, listen to me," Maura said, pushing her hands away. "I can't go to the police about this."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because he's a dangerous man with a lot of power and if I do anything to risk his life, he will hurt you."

"Me?" Jane stepped back, her eyebrows knitted together. She held her arms up at her sides. "Why me?"

Maura lowered her head, silently. When she lifted her gaze back up to meet Jane's, she carried an expression Jane couldn't quite work out. "I know you're a police officer."

The ground moved beneath her feet, her heart skipped a beat. Everything she'd done to hide her profession from Maura, and for what? She knew anyway. " _How?_ "

"He has connections," Maura said. "He knows people. He's been following me."

Jane searched the clearing, her eyes fixed on the entrance. "Is he following you now?"

"I don't know," Maura said. "What I do know is that he's already tried to hurt you once."

"What do you me...oh." Jane thought for a moment that she might actually collapse from the strain. She coughed, her stomach twisted and turned. She span around and felt the uncomfortable reflux of her body pushing out toxins. She spat out the last of the vomit onto the ground and rested her hands on her knees. She couldn't breathe. " _This is his fucking fault? Ma is dead because of him?_ "

"I..."

"That's what you're saying, isn't it?" She stood upright, her eyes landed on Maura's. She stared into those hazel eyes that she'd become so familiar with and for the first time they looked alien.

"I'm sorry, Jane." Maura reached a hand out to her arm but she shrugged her away. "I'm so sorry."

"I can't," Jane said, holding her hands up in front of her, putting a barrier between herself and Maura. "How long have you known?"

"I found out the week she died."

Jane's knees shook. Her throat closed over. "You've known for over a week. _What have you gotten me into?_ I'm a rookie, I've not even started work yet, and already you've pulled me into some fucked up world where people kill people's mothers."

"I'm sorry. I hate that he's done this. I hate that he's hurt you like this. I love you, Jane."

Maura reached her arms out again but Jane stepped back, her hands up in the air, warning her off. "If you loved me so much, you'd have been honest about him from the start."

"Like you were honest about being a rookie officer?" Maura asked, biting back.

Jane shook her head. "That's different."

"How?"

"My being a cop doesn't put your life at risk."

Maura sighed. "You don't know my father."

"I need to go," Jane said, heading back toward the road.

"Where will you go?" Maura asked, chasing after her.

"I'll figure something out."

"I'll drive you."

"No, thanks. I just need to get back to Boston."

"How will you get there?"

"I'll walk."

Maura scoffed. "Don't be so ridiculous, Jane. It's miles."

"So?"

"Let me drive you."

"No." She clenched her fist at her side. She needed to be alone, and if Maura didn't stop pushing her, she wasn't sure what she would do.

"Please, Jane." She rested a hand on her arm.

"Get the fuck off me," she said, pushing her hand away. She walked past the car and onwards down the road. A few minutes later, Maura pulled up in the car beside her, driving slowly.

"Get in the car, Jane."

"No."

"Jane, don't be so stupid."

"I'm already stupid," she said, marching onwards. "I stupidly fell for you."

When the car travelled past her, Jane knew her words had hit where it hurt, and she regretted them instantly. She was upset and angry, and she needed time alone. She didn't mean to bite back, not like that. She sighed. It clouded over; thick, dark rolling clouds that threatened rain. Jane let out an almighty, frustrated scream and set off at a run as the heavens opened.


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Author Note** **: Wow. Thank you. I wasn't expecting such a response to that chapter, since it's not been the most popular of my stories. It's great to see so many of you enjoying it. I will be posting an update to Caecus soon, just waiting to hear back from someone before I do.**

* * *

"You're pretty clued up, Officer Rizzoli."

She sat upright in the passenger seat, her smile tight. "Thank you, Officer Foolhardy."

"It's a shame you were delayed in starting, cause I think you're gonna be a fine officer. Guess we'll just have to wait a little while longer."

"Yeah," she said. "Guess we will."

"Tonight we ride with the drunks."

Jane frowned. When she pictured being a cop she didn't anticipate quite so many traffic stops. They hadn't interviewed a single person, and despite visiting a couple of crime scenes for information sake, she hadn't been allowed to speak to any witnesses.

"Why do we bother?"

Pulling up down the street from a row of bars, Officer Foolhardy shut off the car engine. "You see those drunks over there?"

She glanced across the street to an old man wobbling about, a younger man propping him up. "Yeah."

"He could get in a car and kill somebody. He could walk down the street and decide to punch someone until they take their last breath. He could go home and rape his wife." He stared at Jane until she returned her gaze to him. "Next time you question why we bother, think about all the violent crime we stop when we drag one of their sorry asses off into jail."

The radio came to life, Officer Foolhardy responded and put the car into drive. Jane's eyebrows pulled together. Despite her earlier reservations, she liked the sound of dragging a potential murderer into the station in cuffs.

"We've got a woman who's been attacked," he said, picking up on Jane's confused expression. "You'll get the hang of it."

Across town, Foolhardy shut off the car engine. Jane followed him into the late night coffee shop. They walked down the central aisle between tables to where the EMT were checking somebody over.

"I'm Officer Foolhardy," he said, approaching the young woman.

Before he could introduce her, Jane's heart had leaped into her throat. "Maura."

"Jane?" she pushed the EMT away and stood up, her eyes red and puffy, her right arm red and bruised. She moved forward but Jane stepped back. Officer Foolhardy's eyes darted back and forth, narrowing gradually.

Jane sighed. "I'm Officer Rizzoli."

"Name?" he asked.

"Maura...Martin."

"Do you want to tell us what happened?"

"Not particularly." Maura sat back down and allowed the EMT to continue to analyse the damage. "I didn't call you here, and I don't want to press charges."

Jane's heart thrummed in her chest. It had been a week. She hadn't called her, and having no phone, or permanent address, Maura hadn't been able to call her either. She wanted to feel angry, to hold that burning rage all of the time. But seeing Maura again, seeing her hurt. Jane crouched down beside her.

"If he did this to you, you need to tell us."

"It wasn't him," Maura said.

"Then who else was it?"

"I can't say."

"It will help nobody if you're trying to protect someone."

Maura shook her head. "I can't say because I don't know. I didn't see them. I banged the back of my head, I was headed home after it happened and felt a little dizzy. Billy, here, kindly brought me inside for a drink."

The worried looking barista stepped forward and nodded. "I called the EMT, and for you. Not her."

"What do we do?" Jane asked, standing back beside Officer Foolhardy.

"Not much we can do."

"She was assaulted," Jane said.

"If the lady doesn't wanna press charges, and she won't tell us anything about the attacker, there's nothing more we can do."

"That's not fair," Jane said. "They could hurt someone else."

"Thems the rules, Rizzoli." He turned to go. "If you change your mind."

Jane didn't move. She stared at Maura. Regardless of how much she was still hurting, she didn't want Maura to suffer. She stepped forward.

"Come on Rizzoli."

She moved back again but Maura grabbed at her wrist. She stopped, her eyes sunk. Looking into her face, her whole resolve broke. She opened her mouth to speak but words wouldn't come.

"Here," Maura said. "Take my cell. I'll get another one, and call you."

She shook her head, Foolhardy's eyes were fixed on her back. She shook her head again but slipped the phone into her pocket.

"I'm sorry, Jane," Maura said, clutching her fingers. Jane stared down at their hands together.

"Rizzoli," Foolhardy shouted and she jumped, letting go of her hand.

"I have to go."

x

The car ride back across town was silent. Jane thought about Maura, about how much it hurt to see her again. She tried to push the tears aside. A couple of times she caught them as they fell from her chin. She turned away and stared out of the window. Eventually they pulled up by the bars again. Jane turned as Officer Foolhardy rested a hand on her knee. She stared down at it, her eyes narrowed.

"I don't know what's going on with you and that girl, but you don't bring your shit to work."

"I'm sorry," she said, sitting upright.

His fingers tightened around her knee. "I don't care what you do in your own time. There's no place for that sort of behaviour around me. Capisce?"

Jane sighed and wiped at her cheek. "Capisce, I won't take over even if I know someone until you tell me otherwise."

"I'm not talking about that," he said. Jane frowned. "Who you sleep with is your business. Certain behaviours don't go down well in the police force."

"What?" Jane stared at him. "You have a problem that I'm..."

"Don't say it." He stared back, his eyes wide with frustration. Jane withered slightly. "You say it and this won't work. You keep your damn mouth shut, Rizzoli. Like I said, what you do outside of work is your thing. There's no place for that in my team."

"Right." Jane sighed. His fingers gripped tighter around her knee. She lowered her gaze. She felt sick.

"It wouldn't hurt for you to show a bit of skin my way once in a while, if you know what I'm saying," he said, winking.

She gritted her teeth, shifting a little further away as she nodded her head.

x

She slowly pushed open the back door, stopping as it squeaked, until there was enough space for her to sneak through the gap. Maura dropped her purse on the floor and closed it again, wincing at the pain and the sound of the hinges folding back together. The kitchen light turned on. Maura's shoulders dropped, defeated.

"You're late."

"I'm twenty-two," she said.

"I know you're twenty-two, but you said you'd be back hours ago." Hope cupped a mug of tea between her hands and stared up at Maura. "You're welcome to come and go as you please, as we agreed, but if you tell me you'll be home by eleven, I expect you home by eleven. I tried calling but you didn't pick up."

"I'm sorry." She slouched into a chair opposite. "I got held up."

"How's Jane?"

Maura pursed her lips and stared at the crack in the wooden table top. Hope's hand wrapped around her fingers and she glanced up. "We got into a fight last week and I don't know where we stand."

"What was the fight about?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Maura said.

"The older you get, the more you pull yourself away from me," Hope said, squeezing her hand. "I'm worried about you, Maura. You used to be happy, now you're somewhere between angry and ecstatic."

"It's been a difficult year."

Hope breathed in deeply, then let it out slowly, she ran her hand across the back of Maura's. "Perhaps you shouldn't go to medical school in the Fall. A break might do you some good. We should make an appointment with your doctor."

"School isn't the problem," she said. "I don't need to see the doctor."

"No?" Hope sighed. "Forgive me for not believing you."

"It isn't." Maura clasped her hands together on the table, wincing. "It's everything else."

"Your father?"

"I said, I don't want to talk about it."

Resting her hand on Maura's arm, Hope leaned forward. Maura scrunched up her face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she said, gritting her teeth. Hope pressed her hand to her arm again and Maura let out a tiny squeal.

"Take off the jacket."

She lowered her gaze, revisiting the crack on the table top. She carefully unzipped the jacket and pushed it off her uninjured arm. When she came to do the other one, she stopped. "I can't."

"Maura!"

"I physically can't," she said, tears overflowed down her cheeks. She glanced up. "It hurts too much."

Hope gripped the end of the sleeve and tugged slowly, revealing the large red bruises covering Maura's skin. She dropped the jacket on her lap, where it tumbled to the floor. Her hand covered her mouth.

"It looks worse than it is."

"If your father," Hope began, but Maura cut her off.

"It wasn't him. I don't know who did it. Someone jumped me."

"You were mugged?"

She creased her eyes and pursed her lips. She didn't like lying to her mother, but the opportunity was too good to pass up.

"They took my cell phone."

x

The pager went off around three. Maura rolled over, yawned and stretched. She winced, the bruises on her arm had become difficult to disguise. Even though she'd opted for long sleeves for a couple of days, she couldn't escape the pain of everyday activities.

She climbed out of bed, changed - slowly - and drove across town to Paddy Doyle's warehouse. She sat on his couch, waiting for him to join her.

"I sorted it," he said, entering the room.

"What did you sort?"

"The guy that did that to you," he said. "You shouldn't have got caught up in that."

"I had no choice," Maura said. "It's your rule. I get a nine-one-one, I come over and stitch up your people. It's supposed to be your job to stop me from getting hurt."

"I know."

He stood in front of her, his arms outstretched. She stood up and allowed him to envelop her. She closed her eyes and sunk into his arms. After everything he'd put her through, everything he'd made her do, she still loved him. He was still her father. She wiped a couple of tears from her cheek and stepped back.

"Please don't make me do it again."

"We're nearly there sweetheart," he said, cupping her face. He ran a finger across the small scar he'd created. "You know I'm sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. But we're almost there. I've identified the central hub, we've just gotta hit when they're least expecting it."

"How long?"

"A few weeks, we don't anticipate it taking any longer." He walked across to his desk and picked up a box. "Here's your new phone. Don't lose this one."

"I'll try."

x

She curled back up under her bedcovers around five. She closed her eyes but she was too awake, too pumped up with adrenaline, that she didn't anticipate drifting off anytime soon. She picked up the box and set up her new phone. By six, she stared at the handset as it turned on, the battery still charging. She dialled her old number and waited.

"Hello?"

The sound of Jane's voice brought a lump to her throat. She reached her hand out, as though to touch her through the phone. Tears skated down her cheeks and onto the pillow beneath her head.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I hate what this is doing to us."

"Yeah."

The lack of emotion at the end of the line didn't help her already fractured emotions. She squeezed her eyes tightly together.

"I've got work," Jane said.

"Can I call you later?"

"I'll be busy."

"Please, Jane." She knew the break in her voice had given her away, but she didn't care anymore. It hurt her knowing how much she'd hurt Jane, and she wasn't afraid to let her know that. "You don't understand my father."

"You got hurt because of him, again."

"This wasn't his fault."

"Do you know how it looks for me to turn up at an assault to find my girlfriend's the one who's injured?" Jane asked. Maura closed her eyes and listened to the tone of her words.

"You called me your girlfriend."

"So?"

"Are we still together?"

Jane sighed, then went silent. Maura waited until eventually she spoke again. "I can't do this, Maura. I can't risk my career for you."

"I'm not asking you to." Maura wiped her eyes. "I'm not my father. I'm not a criminal."

"No." Her voice cooled considerably. "But my mom died because of you. I can't forgive you for that."

"Please, Jane," she said, unable to control the amount of tears that coated her skin. Her nose ran across her face, mixing with the salty tears. "Please."

"I need some time." Jane paused. "Don't call me."


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Author Note : Thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing, etc. For some reason my last chapter of this story didn't get bumped up the list, which is odd because it had been 24 hours between updates.p, so hopefully this one will bump up the list. I seem to be ahead of myself on updates - though I'm behind on Lullaby. I think I need a few days off from it while I regroup. Instead I will update this and Caecus (which is ready for another update tomorrow, already written, just waiting to post it).**

 **Onwards...**

* * *

Everywhere Jane looked people were laughing. The old man at the bar was red in the cheek, his oversized stomach wobbled. A group of senior officers gathered around a table playing cards and joking their way through a jug of beer. The group of rookie officers sat at her table giggled uncontrollably like children who'd discovered the word penis. She nursed her beer, conscious of the lack of money in her pocket, and the sadness in her heart. She'd heard people talk about being alone in a crowded room, and now she knew how that felt.

"Another?" Brooks asked. "My round."

"Yeah, thanks," she replied, sinking the rest of the bottle. She leaned back in her chair and listened to Bernstein's story.

"Then this morning O'Neal sent me to look for left handed cuffs,"

"What did you do?" Brooks asked, hovering by the table.

"I followed orders," he said.

The group erupted once more. Brooks patted him on the shoulder and headed for the bar. Deacon piped up with a story of his own. Jane listened for a moment, but his voice was dry and toneless. She slipped out of her seat and joined Brooks at the bar, anything to distract her from her own empty thoughts.

"How's it going, Rizzoli?"

"Fine." She leaned against the bar. "You?"

"Great," he said, wrapping an arm around her neck. She didn't move. "You're not like a lotta girls."

"You're not like a lot of guys." She rolled her eyes.

"I'm exactly like a lotta guys," he said. "So are you."

"Had to adapt to my environment."

"You up for a party? Everyone's going back to my place." She shrugged. "Come on Rizzoli, don't break up the group. I think Danny likes you, you like him too, right?"

"Not really."

"Great." He turned to the barman. "Six beers and a lemonade for the lightweight."

"Who's the lightweight?" Jane asked.

"Me."

x

"We've not seen Jane for a while," Hope said, passing Maura a plate of bread.

She picked up a slice and placed it on her own plate. "No."

"Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine."

"I know when you're not telling me the whole story, Maura." Hope reached across the table and started slicing up Cailin's dinner.

"'maller, Mommy."

"Jane and I have been taking a break," she said, forking a piece of chicken into her mouth. "We both needed some time."

"I'm sorry to hear that." She reached across and grabbed Cailin's fork. "Cailin don't hold your fork like that, sweetie."

"Where's Daddy?"

"He's working late, eat your dinner." She stared at Maura over her glass of water. "If you've broken up, you can tell me."

"We've not broken up."

"Okay." She placed her glass back down on the table. "But if you have, you don't have to pretend everything's okay."

"Mom!"

"Okay," she said again. "You and Jane are just taking a break."

x

Brooks lived in an apartment above an all-night diner, the scent of day old burgers unsettled Jane's stomach. A group of girls turned up and they sat on the floor drinking beer. Deacon lit up a joint and passed it around the group. Jane turned to Brooks.

"Ladies first," he said.

She punched him on the arm. "I'm no lady. What about the drugs tests?"

"As long as there's no test for a couple week, you'll be alright."

She shrugged and rested the joint against her mouth. She closed her eyes and breathed, sucking the toxins into her lungs. She pulled it out of her mouth and coughed, then tried again. It wasn't her first joint, but her body wasn't used to smoking. She coughed again but took another drag, before passing it to Brooks.

"Thata girl," he said, taking his turn and passing it along.

"How often do you do this?" she asked. He shrugged. She finished her beer and picked up another. The alcohol mixed with the marijuana sending her head into a spin.

x

Lying in bed, Maura stared at the screen on her cellphone hoping it would light up. She opened up her phone book and scrolled through the handful of names inside until she reached her old number, renamed 'Jane'. She held her finger over the call button and paused.

She shook her head and closed her phone, returning it to its spot on her bedside cabinet. She flicked off the light and rolled onto her side, staring out into the darkness. She wondered what Jane was doing in that moment, where she was staying, if she was safe. It had been weird seeing her in uniform. Knowing she was a police officer and seeing it were two different things, and seeing her only made it more real. Her heart ached.

If she had started work, she had to be okay, she had to have found somewhere to stay. Even if that meant her going home to her family. She flicked the light back on and reached for her phone again, before giving up and turning the light off once more.

She had things to do in the morning, she needed her sleep.

x

Jane lay on her back staring up at the ceiling, her whole body had relaxed, her mind clouded over. She felt the gentle tugging at the corners of her mouth, forcing her to smile. She sat up and watched Deacon making out with one of the girls in the corner. Her hair was dark blonde, wavy, too much like Maura's that she had to look away.

"I know," Brooks said, giggling uncontrollably. "Who wants to play spin the bottle?"

One of the girls rolled her eyes. "We're not twelve."

"Let's do it," Deacon said, wrapping his arm around the girl he'd been kissing.

Brooks finished his beer and placed the bottle on the floor. He span it round and they sat and watched until it stopped on Jane. She narrowed her eyes.

"What's that mean?"

"It means I getta kiss you," he said, leaning over. Jane smacked him across the face. "No fair."

"My turn," she said, spinning it round. It slowed to a stop in front of Bernstein. "Slap or kiss."

He raised an eyebrow, then crawled across the circle and stuck his tongue down her throat. She pushed him away and spat on the floor. "No tongues."

The bottle span, people kissed. The girl, still wrapped up in Deacon's arm span the bottle and it landed on Jane. She crawled across the circle, her eyes fixed on the woman's. She smiled, staring between her eyes and her lips. She was attractive, not as attractive as Maura, but a close second. Jane was not in a suitable state to complain. When her lips touched the woman's, she responded, their lips merged together until Jane pulled back, a smile spread across her face.

"I think we got a gay one," Deacon said, laughing ridiculously.

"I knew it," Danny said, holding out his hand. "Pay up boys."

Jane rolled her eyes as Deacon, Brooks and a couple of others handed him some money, and picked up the bottle. She span it. It slowed to a stop between two people.

"Nobody," Jane said. She put her empty bottle to one side and picked up another, she tipped her head back and drank quickly. The group started chanting and Jane dropped the empty bottle on the floor, lifting her hands into the air. Everyone cheer. Jane reached for another.

Deacon lit up another joint and it made its way around the circle. Jane took a drag, then another. She held onto it for a moment.

"Next!" Brooks shouted. She wrapped her mouth around the end and breathed in, sucking the toxins into her body as slowly as possible. She breathed in and took another, before passing it along.

x

She swayed back and forth across the garden path, the grass tickled her bare feet. She span around and around for a moment, then stood by the door. She stared up at the bedroom window directly above.

"Maura?" she shouted, trying to keep her voice hushed. The window, and the rest of the house, stayed dark. She picked up some stray leaves and tossed them up into the air but they only fluttered back to the ground. She laughed, tossing them into the air again and watching them fall. She picked up some twigs and tossed them up toward the window. They tapped against the glass. "Maura!"

Nothing. She tried again, picking up a handful of soil and throwing it up. When nothing happened, Jane tumbled onto the floor and lay on her back, staring up at the stars shining through the clouds.

"Jane?"

She sat up. Maura stood in the doorway, her hair lit up by the moonlight. She smiled, her face covered in the largest smile. She placed her knuckles on the floor and pushed herself back up to her feet, wobbling slightly. Maura's hand rested against her arm.

"Are you drunk?"

"I had a few beers," she said, leaning over and staring into her eyes. "Your eyes look grey."

"It's the light." Maura narrowed her eyes. "Are you high?"

"I thought you were sleeping."

"I was." Maura cupped her cheeks. "Jane."

"Why?"

"It's four in the morning."

"I'm awake," she said, walking across the grass toward the door.

Maura followed close behind. "Where are you going?"

"To bed."

"Not here you're not."

"Why not?"

"You're drunk and high, and my parents will not appreciate you waking them up. My step-dad's been working all hours, he's exhausted. Besides, we haven't spoken in nearly two weeks."

She bowed her head. "I thought I could do this."

"Do what?"

"I thought it was too hard to be with you, knowing what you've done. What you being in my life has done."

"I'm sorry," Maura said.

"But it's harder not being with you." She stepped toward her, cupping her cheeks and capturing her lips. Jane pushed her backward. Maura responded, deepening the kiss. Jane wrapped her arms around her and slipped her hands into the back of her pyjama shorts.

"What are you doing?" Maura asked, pushing her away.

"I need you. I can't do this without you."

"But it's my fault your mom died," Maura said.

Jane swallowed, her throat ached. "It wasn't your fault. It was his fault. Your dads. He's not you. You're you and you're pretty and I love you."

Maura's shoulder dropped. "I love you too. I've been waiting for you to come back. But, Jane, if this is because you're drunk, because you're high."

"It's not." She slipped her hands around her waist and pulled her in close. She leaned down and rested her forehead against Maura's. "This is me, all the time. I drank a lot and I smoked some pot, but I love you and that's what matters. Not the drugs. They'll be gone soon. The beer will be gone soon. I don't want you to be gone soon."

"Come with me," Maura said, clutching her fingers. "But you have to be quiet."

"Are we gonna make out in your room?" Jane placed her fingers over her mouth, as she started to giggle. "Quiet."

"I mean it, Jane. If my parents catch you, they won't be happy."

"Only if we can do more than make out," she said, placing her hands on Maura's hips. "I made out with someone tonight and she wasn't you, she wasn't you and it was stupid."

Maura stopped. She turned in Jane's arms. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that, that you only did it because you were at some party smoking pot and not because you really wanted to kiss her."

"The only person I want to kiss is you."

"Good."

x

Maura tucked her arms around Jane's shoulders and rested her cheek against the side of her head. She stroked her hand down the side of Jane's face and listened to her breathing slow down.

"Thanks for not giving up on me," Jane said, her voice dissipated into the darkness.

She squeezed her a little tighter. "Thank you for coming back to me."

"I tried to hate you," Jane said, sounding more together than she had in a long while. "I tried but I couldn't do it."

"I'm glad you don't hate me."

"Me too."

"Jane, where are you staying?"

"A bed in a hostel." She turned over, wrapping her arms around Maura's waist. Maura closed her eyes and clung to her, her whole body felt more relaxed with Jane in her arms. "Gotta share it with five girl but it's better than being on the street."

"Why didn't you go home?"

"I don't know."

"Jane," Maura whispered, placing a hand on her cheek. She leaned down close, her lips nearly touching Jane's. "If I could turn back the clock and change what happened, if I could go back to the day I met you and not meet you, so that you'd be happy again, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

"No," Jane said, tugging her hands away by her wrists. She moved out from Maura's side and crawled over her. "Don't wish you could change it."

"But your mother."

Jane shook her head, closing her eyes. "If I could bring her back, I would. If it means never meeting you. I can't imagine my life without her, I thought she'd always be here. But I don't like the idea of a world where I don't know you. If losing her is the only way I get to have you, then maybe this is what had to happen."

"No." Maura brushed the tears from Jane's cheeks. "Don't say that."

"It's true." She lowered herself down until her head rested against Maura's heart. "I didn't know it was possible. To love someone this much."


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Author Note** **: Thanks a lot for reading and commenting on this story, I'm definitely back in the swing of things now. I'm hoping to get this one finished before the end of the summer. I'm surprised I managed to write this today because I did a 5am shift where I volunteer, and now I'm really tired.**

* * *

Resting her hands on her knees, Jane sat over the edge of the bed. Her heart raced, her mouth tingled, and she predicted visiting would be in her future. But she was in Maura's bedroom, alone, and confused. She had only the faintest recollection of the night before; drinking with people from work, being handed a joint, lying on the grass outside Maura's house.

"You're awake," Maura said, carrying a glass of water and a plastic washing bowl. She placed the water on her bedside cabinet. "For you."

"Thanks," Jane said, staring at the carpet. Her cheeks reddened. She still had all of her clothes, so they probably didn't sleep together. She rubbed her head. It thumped, like her brain could no longer comfortably fit in her skull. Her lips tingled again and she stood up, her hand against her mouth. "I'm gonna."

Maura handed her the bowl. "In here."

She dropped back onto the bed and clutched the plastic container, holding her face over it as her stomach contracted and the contents of her stomach resurfaced. Her throat ached from the pressure, tears streamed down her face. When the need to vomit subsided, she looked up at Maura, desperation in her eyes.

"You brought this on yourself," Maura said, sensing her need for comfort.

"I know," she said, cut off by her stomach's bid for freedom. Tears covered her skin. She clung to the bowl. Maura sighed and sat down beside her. She pulled her hair back across her neck and held it out of the way. Jane gagged, dry heaving as the last of her stomachs contents landed in the bowl. She felt sick, the smell making it feel infinitely worse.

"Drink this," Maura said, handing her the glass.

Jane gulped at the water, desperate to refill her stomach and realising how dehydrated she'd become. She handed Maura the glass as the tingling sensation returned and she brought it all back up again.

"Sip it," Maura said, handing her the glass again.

She nodded and slowly drank the water. The desire to vomit subsided. Jane placed the bowl on the floor and curled back up against the pillow. She stared at Maura. She looked as beautiful as she always did, despite the frown housed on her face, or the way she stared down. Jane lifted a hand to her arm and she looked up.

"Do you feel better?"

"Not really," Jane said.

"Why did you do it?"

"Why did I do what?"

"All of it."

Closing her eyes, Jane sighed. "I'm gonna need some help remembering."

"That, why did you act like you didn't need to remember."

"I'm sorry," Jane said. "I don't know."

"You don't even remember what you said?"

She narrowed her eyes and searched her mind for some sliver of memory, when none came, Jane closed her eyes and burrowed her face against the pillow.

"I think you should go home."

"Home?" Jane scoffed. "You mean to the hostel?"

"No." Maura stared into her eyes. "Home. To your home. If I'm the problem, take me out of the equation. Fix your relationship with your father, because I know what a terrible father is like, and his response to you being gay aside, Frank is a good father."

"What did I say last night?"

"It doesn't matter."

Jane sat up. She reached for Maura's hands but she tugged them away again. "It matters to me."

"It matters to me, too," Maura said. "But it also matters to me that you don't remember."

"You know I've been going through hell."

"If I could turn back the clock," Maura said.

Jane's stomach twisted, contracting quickly, she heaved. With every force of her stomach, she leaned over the bed and gagged over the bowl. Maura sighed and lifted it up until Jane could hold it again, the water came back up until once more, there was nothing left.

"Don't wish that," Jane said, finally remembering some of the conversation the night before. "You're the only good thing to come out of all of it."

"I don't feel like I am." Maura sighed. "I don't know how I could ever make it up to you, for your mom, it's impossible."

She returned the bowl to the floor and cupped Maura's cheeks. Jane stared into her eyes, her cheeks still covered in red and white stains. She memorised the differences in her pupils. Her heart thumped to the beat of her head, her punishment for behaving the way she had.

"I need you," Jane whispered, resting her forehead against Maura's.

"I need you to brush your teeth," Maura said, her lips curved at the edges. "Because I really want to kiss you, but all I can smell is vomit."

"I'm sorry," Jane said, pulling away. She climbed off the bed and carried the bowl toward the bedroom door. "I'll go clean up."

"Not yet," Maura said. "Sit down and have some more water. My family go out soon, you need to stay in here until then."

She lowered herself back onto the bed. "Do they know I'm here?"

"They know."

"Do they know what state I'm in?"

"My mom guessed, my stepdad has no idea."

"I didn't mean to put you in this position," Jane said.

"I know you didn't."

"The beer was bad enough, I shouldn't have smoked pot."

Maura sighed and reached for her hand. "Given everything, I don't blame you. You've been in the worst possible position; losing your mom and having to find somewhere to stay."

Jane nodded at her. "Why didn't you report your dad for what he did to you the other day?"

"It wasn't him."

"Sure, and my dad didn't throw me out."

"It wasn't." Maura stood up. "He's been having some problems with people he knows, and I got caught up in the crossfire."

Jane stood up beside her. "Caught in the crossfire. Most kids are kept out of the crossfire, what the hell is he doing putting you in harms way? Risking your freedom."

She sighed and turned away, busying herself with her top drawer. Maura pulled out a t-shirt and handed it to Jane. "Someone was hurt, I couldn't just leave them to get worse, or die."

"There's hospitals for that."

"Not in his world."

"Did you get rid of the gun?"

"I can't talk to you about this," Maura said. "The less you know the better. For the sake of your career."

"What about your career?" Jane stared at her, her eyes fixed on Maura's. "Doesn't that matter more than some sweaty criminal?"

"It's more complicated than that."

"I know."

The door opened downstairs, someone shouted up to them and the door closed again. Maura held out a hand and Jane took it.

"Let's get you showered."

Jane raised an eyebrow. "Together?"

"Do you want to shower together?"

She smiled, and shrugged. "Yeah."

"Maybe next time," Maura said.

x

The heels tapped across the concrete floor as Maura put one foot in front of the other. She pulled out a pair of latex gloves, in preparation for the work she was expected to do. Leaving dinner with Jane to attend to her father's medical emergencies was not her idea of a good night out.

"And to think I didn't even ask you to get dressed up," Doyle said, walking across the office the moment she walked in. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders. Maura tensed up in his embrace. He stepped back and cupped her face. "Let me look at you."

She stood stock still, his eyes trailed up and down her body. She cringed, turning her attention away from his lingering expression. Sometimes he really creeped her out.

"Where's the injured?" she asked, searching the office, then heading back to the door to search the warehouse. A crowd of men were busy surrounding a pile of boxes at the far end. Someone waved, their tongue ran across their lip. She sighed and retreated to the office. "I thought this was a nine-one-one."

"It is." Paddy held onto her shoulders. "You've been doing a lot of work for me lately and I wanted to repay you."

"You already pay me."

"I know," he said. "But I wanted to do something special for you. I have a limousine out front, someone is waiting inside."

"Who?" Maura narrowed her eyes.

"I know it's been difficult for you, since your break up," he said. "So, I was talking with a friend, and his daughter is in a similar situation."

"A similar situation?" Maura frowned.

"She's beautiful, her hair is blonde, her legs are stunning and she likes women." He paused, his eyebrows knitted together. Maura glared back. "You do like women, don't you? Or was Jane an exception?"

Maura sighed. "I don't know, but Jane and I."

"Yeah, yeah, you're back together," he said. "You're young. You should keep your options open."

Maura closed her eyes. "But..."

"You don't need to say another word." Paddy cut her off. "Besides, I have work to do. I had bought you a dress but you're already wearing the perfect outfit. Go ahead now, the limos out the back."

He walked her to the door, his smile spread across his face like she'd not seen it before. She opened her mouth to speak again but he was already shouting commands across the warehouse. Maura headed for the back door.

"You must be Maura," the blonde woman said, standing beside the limousine.

Maura smiled, narrowing her eyes. "I am, but I'm seeing someone."

She shrugged. "It's fine. I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm Christa."

"Nice to meet you," Maura said, holding out her hand. Christa took it. "I really should be going home, though. I was on a date with my girlfriend when my dad asked me to come out here."

"You don't want one drink?"

"Not really." Maura sighed. "Thank you, though."

"We've got the limousine all night," Christa said, "How about we at least drive to your girlfriend? We can have a drink and get to know each other."

"I suppose I could have one drink."

x

Two glasses of champagne later, Maura sat back against the limousine seat and stared at Christa. Before Jane, Maura hadn't paid much attention to women, not because she wasn't attracted to them, just because it wasn't something she put much thought into.

"He's always been strict," Maura said. "Even when I was a little girl he'd buy me these dresses and make me put them on so he could show me off to all of his friends. It's no wonder one of them tried to feel me up when I was fourteen."

"That's nothing," Christa said. "My dad tried to pimp me out when I was fifteen. I'd already had sex and he thought I'd be up for it. But the man was old enough to be my grandfather."

"What did you do?"

"Kicked him in the balls and screamed until my dad agreed I could go home."

"Do you ever wonder what a normal family is like?" Maura asked, sipping her refilled glass of champagne. The liquid coursed through her veins, seeping into her consciousness. She felt the familiar change as her brain became a little foggier.

"What's normal anyway?" Christa moved across to the seat beside Maura. She slid her hand slowly across Maura's knee. Maura froze, her eyes fixed on the tanned fingers squeezing her knee. "I thought you wanted to go to your girlfriend."

"I do," Maura said, pushing her fingers away.

Christa raised an eyebrow. "Really? We've been driving around for an hour now, and yet we still haven't found your girlfriend."

Maura closed her eyes and leaned back. The couple of days since Jane turned up inebriated had not been the most successful. She had acknowledged it on several occasions. Their relationship had been recovered, but it was tense, and awkward and Maura was semi-relieved when she had a reason to escape the difficult dinner conversation they'd been sharing.

"She's not easy to find," Maura said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Not easy to find?" Christa frowned, and replaced her fingers on Maura's knee. She watched her slide her fingers up Maura's thigh, closed her eyes when her lips tickled the skin beneath her ear.

"No," Maura said, pushing her away. "I've told you, I have a girlfriend."

"Just checking."

"You're not angry?"

Christa shrugged. "Why would I be angry? I had no expectations, I thought it was pretty rich of the great Patrick Doyle to think he could get his daughter laid."

Maura frowned, then allowed a smile to spread across her face. "You can tell my father we had sex, if you'd like. Then it might get him off mine and my girlfriend's backs."

"Only if I can tell him it was the hottest thing I have ever experienced," Christa said, giving her knee a playful squeeze. She leaned close. "I must admit, I'm kinda disappointed. You are beautiful."

"Go right ahead. Unfortunately for you," Maura said. "My girlfriend is the only one who gets the hottest thing we've ever experienced."

"Is she as cute as you?"

Maura sighed, struggling to stop her mouth from curling into the most ridiculous smile. "She's stunning. I love her more every time we're together."

"Sounds sickening. Where are we dropping you?"

"Here's fine," Maura said, shouting to the driver. "Can you stop the limo, please?"

Christa grabbed hold of Maura's wrist before she could climb out of the limo, she grabbed a pen from by the door and scribbled her name and number across her arm. "Give me a call sometime, you know, as friends."

"Thanks," Maura said, rolling her eyes, she pulled her arm away, and shut the door behind her. She marched down the street, not caring where she was or where she was going. Once the limousine had driven past, she took out her cellphone and dialled Jane's number.


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**Author Note** **: Thanks everyone for reading, etc. I feel like I write the same things here, but there's not many ways to show my gratitude, other than to keep writing, so that is what I shall do. Thank you all.**

 **I'll try my best to update Caecus or Lullaby tomorrow. I seem to have found my groove with a new story I'm writing (not the one I said I'd write all of before posting, another one, which has jumped the queue). I haven't posted any of it yet, though. I'm trying to decide when I should.**

* * *

Jane stood to attention on the sidewalk, a physical barrier between the gathered crowd and the commotion behind her. Sweat trickled down her neck. The morning sun burned through the clouds. Firefighters ran back and forth across the front yard of the house, reeling hoses across the lawn to stem the fire.

"I know you're concerned," Jane said, hold her hands out to stop a man from passing her. "But we need to let the firefighters do their jobs."

"Take a break, Rizzoli," Office Foolhardy said, another rookie on his tail. "Officer Fitzgerald here is gonna take over."

She nodded and walked through the crowd toward the squad car. She rubbed her eyes and sat down in the passenger seat. She stretched her arms above her head and yawned, tired from a long night of work. The sun had risen over the houses some time ago. Jane turned on her cell phone, gulping down water as she listened to Maura's voice.

"I came back, but I guess you'd already left for work. Maybe we can have lunch tomorrow. I love you. Call me when you get this."

She pressed the call button and listened to the dial tone. When Maura picked up, her heart settled instantly.

"Hey," she said.

"What time is it?" Maura asked, her voice small and weak.

"Oh shit," Jane said. "It's like seven. I'm sorry to wake you."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not." Jane sighed. "I forgot what time it was, it's been a busy shift."

"Are you finished?"

"Not yet. I'll be done by nine if you wanna meet for breakfast."

"At the coffee shop by the station?"

"No. Pick me up on the corner of Pine and Vermont, I wanna get away from here as soon as I can."

"You sound sad."

"Yeah," Jane said. "I'll tell you about it when you get here. I love you."

"I love you, too."

She hung up the phone and leaned back in the seat, closing her eyes for the briefest moment. She could hear the roar of the flames, burning through the wooden window frames, the distant sound of sirens making their way across town. A loud tapping on the window. She opened her eyes. Office Foolhardy stood on the other side of the glass. She opened the passenger door and climbed out.

"I was just heading back," she said.

"No rush." He glanced around the street, his eyes landed on Jane's face. "We got word from the hospital, none of them made it."

"None of them?" Jane's heart sunk. She tried to breath but it caught in her throat. "Even the baby?"

"It's just the job, Rizzoli," he said, shrugging, but she could see the pain in his eyes. "You wanna get off early?"

"No, it's fine. I can stay."

"Wouldn't blame you if you wanted to go, considering what happened to your mother."

She gritted her teeth. The wound was still too fresh, and he was right that the house fire deaths had flared up her pain. She pushed the feeling aside, desperate to prove herself, to show that she was tough enough to survive as a cop.

"I'm here til the end of my shift," she said, forcing the words out with as much strength as she could muster.

"Take over from Buckley on the far end," Foolhardy said, waving his arm across the crowd. She nodded and closed the car door.

x

At the corner of Pine and Vermont, Maura stood against her car, staring out across the street at the crowd of people and the burning home. Her attention drawn away only by Jane walking toward her, by her lips landing on hers before she could even say hello. Pulling back, she saw Jane's mentor staring at them, his eyes narrowed. Jane followed her gaze, then slouched into the passenger seat of her car.

"What was that?" Maura asked, returning to the driver's seat.

"What was what?"

"The look Foolhardy gave you."

Jane shrugged. "He's a jerk. Apparently if I tell him I'm gay it puts him in a difficult position. I dunno how he feels about public displays of uniformed affection. I guess I'll find out on my next shift."

"He sounds horrible," Maura said, frowning. "Is there somebody you can talk to?"

"There's no point."

"Why not?" Maura ran her hand across Jane's thigh and gave it a squeeze. "If he's harassing you."

"It's another world, Maura," Jane said. "Cops aren't good with difference; it's hard enough being a woman in the police force without being openly gay as well."

"So you're just going to accept his prejudice?"

"I don't know what else I can do," she said. "It's not like the world cares about gay rights."

"That's not true. You can fight this."

Jane sighed. "Not enough people care, maybe it'll change one day, but today I don't have the energy to fight this. Every day I fight, I wake up and I miss her, Maura. She's the first thing I think about. Now this fucking house fire."

"What happened?" Jane slouched down further in her seat, her eyes low. Maura grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. "Talk to me."

"Whole family died. Mom, dad, six-year-old twin girls and their baby brother."

"I'm sorry." Maura squeezed her hand tighter, and stroked her other hand across Jane's shoulder. Turning against her, Maura pulled her into her arms and peppered kisses across her neck. "I'm so sorry."

Tears landed on her shoulder, soaking through the fabric in their intensity. She rubbed Jane's back, circling the fabric of her uniform shirt.

"I need to talk to you about something," Maura said, cupping Jane's cheeks and pressing their lips together.

"Can it wait?" Jane asked, sighing heavily. "Shit day, I need coffee and a bagel."

"Sure."

x

"What did you wanna talk about?" Jane asked, sitting in a coffee shop with a mug of coffee and a cream cheese bagel.

Maura breathed in and out slowly, trying to find the words to best describe the previous night. In light of Jane's shift at work, she didn't want to upset her any more than she already was.

"I need to tell you something, but I don't want you to get mad, it wasn't anything that matters."

Jane's eyebrows knitted together. "What?"

"I accidentally went on a date with someone last night."

Narrowing her eyes, Jane cleared her throat. Her fingers tightened around her mug, paled by the pressure. "How do you accidentally date someone?"

"My father. When he calls, I have to go over there, we have this arrangement and I hate it but it's what I have to do." She pushed Jane's fingers away from the mug and clung to them across the table. Maura leaned forward. "If I could stop seeing him, I would. Knowing what he did, I would."

"It's fine," Jane said, shrugging. "Why did you go on a date?"

"He paid for a limousine, and he brought one of his friend's daughters over to go out with me," she said. "I know why he did it, it's because he feels threatened by you. But I promise you, I'm not interested in her. We just drove around for a while talking. I couldn't get hold of you so I went home."

Leaning her elbows against the table, Jane's lips curved at the edges, her shoulders shook and she started laughing loudly. Maura sat back, confused, yet Jane didn't stop.

"It's ridiculous," she said, throwing a couple of dollars on the table and standing up. "That he thinks he has the power to make you date someone else because he doesn't like me. Did he think you were just gonna fall into bed with her and dump me?"

"When you put it like that," Maura said, her own face cracked into a smile. She shook her head. "I don't remember him being like this when I was a kid."

"If he thinks I'm gonna walk away from you," Jane said, slipping her hands around Maura's waist and pulling her to her feet. She leaned down and trailed kisses across her face. "He is deluded. I'm not letting you go for a second."

Maura cupped her cheeks. "I'm sorry you've had such a bad day, but it's amazing to see you laugh again."

Jane shrugged. She picked up her bagel in a napkin. "Can you come with me?"

"Where to?"

"I need to go see my Pop."

x

They stood on the doorstep, Jane's hand tucked in Maura's, her palm sweaty. She still wore her uniform, if only because she didn't have any clean clothes to change into. She turned and smiled at Maura, her whole body screamed at her to walk away, to run from the nerves she fought against. She gave her hand a squeeze.

"Thanks for coming."

Before Maura could respond, the door opened and Frank Rizzoli Senior stood in the doorway. He stared into Jane's eyes, and for the first time since she left, she could see the humanity housed in his face.

"Jane," he whispered, pulling her into his arms. His hands pressed against her back, holding her tightly. She sunk into his embrace. Mixed into the fabric softener on his clothes, she could smell stale beer and body odour, as familiar as the back of her own hand. She lifted her hands up to his shoulders and tightened her hold.

"Pop," she said, pulling back and lying a soft kiss against his cheek.

"I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head. "I'm an old fashioned buffoon. Your Ma would hate me for what I said, for kicking you out. She loved you no matter what, I know I said she wouldn't, but she did."

Jane sighed. Tears pricked at her eyelids, coating her cheeks as they strolled down her face. He cupped her cheeks and brushed aside her tears, something he hadn't done since she was a small child. She clung to him, desperate to feel like she was six years old, and his arms could make everything better.

"I forgive you, Pop."

"Come home, baby," he said, giving her one last squeeze before holding her at arm's length. "Come home."

She stepped back, took Maura's hand and stared into his eyes. She couldn't go back on her plan now, regardless of what he said. She turned to Maura, smiled, and refocused her attention on her father.

"I never really got to introduce you to Maura before, this is Maura Martin, my girlfriend. Maura, this is my Pop, Frank Rizzoli Senior."

"It's lovely to meet you, Maura," Frank said, nodding his head slightly. "I'm sorry you got caught up in what was a very difficult time."

Maura smiled. "I completely understand. It's lovely to meet you, too."

"I'm not coming home, Pop," Jane said, swallowing a lump in her throat. "It's time I start living my life. I work now, I have responsibilities to this city and I want to do right by its citizens. Which is why I'm gonna find a place of my own."

"Oh."

Jane sighed. "I didn't want to have this conversation on the doorstep."

"You can come inside," Frank said. "It's still your home."

Clutching Maura's hand, they walked into the house. Frank motioned to the couch. "I'll make some coffee."

Maura sat down while Jane paced across the carpet, rubbing her hands across her slacks. She'd rehearsed the words over and over in her head, knowing that she didn't have the courage to say them. Or at least, she didn't think she had, until she stood staring at the burning house in the middle of the night, and her family flashed before her eyes.

"Sit down," Maura said.

"Can't."

She caught her hand as she walked past and pulled her in front of her. Jane stopped and stared down at her. "You look nervous."

"I am."

Frank re-entered the room and placed three mugs on the table, along with a small pot of milk and sugar. He pushed one across to Maura.

"I didn't know how you take your coffee."

"Black's fine," Maura said, picking up her mug and taking a sip. "Thank you."

"What can I do for you, Janie?" he asked, sitting down.

She perched on the edge of the couch, sitting on her hands. She paused, reclaiming her thoughts before allowing the words to spill from her lips. "I know you don't have a lot of money but I don't get a pay check for a few weeks and the hostel can't let me stay much longer without me paying them. I found an apartment across town, I need three months' rent up front. I wouldn't normally ask but since you got the insurance pay-out on Ma's life plan. Pop, can I borrow some money?"

"Oh." He shrugged. "Yeah, 'course you can."

"Really?"

"Jane." He sighed and reached for her hand across the table. "You're my baby girl, if you need some money to get your own place, I'm not gonna say no. Your Ma would hate me if I did."

"Thank you," she said, squeezing his hand. She sat in silence, sipping her coffee, watching her father's face. "You seem happier."

"Not happier," he said, averting his gaze. "Just finding a way through. Frankie got suspended from school, they agreed he could go back if he gets some help, so he's getting some help, Tommy's doing fine. I think we're gonna be alright, Janie."

"I'm glad."

"Would you girls like to stay for dinner?" He placed his coffee on the table. "I'm not as good as cook as your Ma, but I'm learning."

Jane turned to Maura, she nodded her head briefly and Jane smiled at Frank. "Yes, please, that'd be nice."


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**Author Note** **: Thanks to everyone who read, etc. the last chapter. I hope you enjoy the next one.**

* * *

Cramped up on Jane's single bed, Jane nuzzled her face against Maura's neck. She tugged at her skin, pulling against it with her mouth, trailing moist kisses across her collarbone. She ran her fingers across Maura's back and down to her thighs.

"We shouldn't," Maura said, pulling back slightly.

Jane stopped her with her mouth, then spoke, in between kisses. "If you. Can stay. Quiet. Then maybe. We can. Get away. With it."

"Me?" Maura tucked her leg around Jane's back, pulling her closely. "You're the one who moans like a lawnmower."

"I do not."

"Ohh, ohh, Maura, oh Maura, ohh, oh, ohh," she repeated, emphasising the sound with every passing syllable.

Jane silenced her again, moaning loudly into Maura's mouth. She cupped her face, her fingers danced across the edge of her chin. She slipped down on the bed, dragging Maura on top of her, fighting against the fabric on her outfit. Once freed of the prison, Jane trailed kisses along her torso and down to her belly button.

"Once Pop's asleep, he doesn't wake up easily," Jane said, nibbling her skin. "You smell amazing."

"My body odour hasn't changed all evening."

"You sure?"

"I put on some perfume a few hours ago but nothing since."

"Maybe it's because of me," she said, slipping her pyjama shorts down and discarding them on the floor. She circled kisses around Maura's stomach, then tossed her shirt away. She crawled back up her body and captured her mouth, crushing her body against Maura's. "Doesn't matter. Your skin tastes even better."

Maura laughed softly, her head hit the pillow behind her. She wrapped her legs around Jane. Jane tangled her arms up around Maura and held her in tight.

"This is why I love you."

"Because of sex?" Maura asked, raising an eyebrow. She pulled back slightly.

"No." Jane stroked her cheek. "Because you understand how to make sex great. You know my body better than I do."

"I've had a lot of practice."

"Yeah you have."

"Are we going to talk all night?" Maura asked, kissing her shoulder. "Or are you going to make me scream too loudly for a room opposite your father's?"

"Both?" Jane tucked up leg up between Maura's thighs, her fingernails dug into skin on her back. "But I'd rather hear you scream."

"What about your father?"

"I don't care." She captured her lips again. "He shouldn't have said you could stay if he wasn't expecting us to have sex."

"Can we stop talking about him now?"

"You brought him up."

"I know, but you're too hot and I can't think straight as it is, I don't want any distractions."

"Enough said."

x

"Get that box," Doyle said.

She lifted it up against her stomach and carried it out of the office, following her father through the back exit to the car. She dropped it into the trunk, on top of several other boxes, and stepped back, a frown etched across her face.

"Why are we doing this again?"

"Intelligence. My guy on the inside thinks they're gonna strike soon."

"Who's they?"

"The cops. The cops. Why do you ask so many questions?" Doyle marched back into the warehouse. Maura trailed behind. "If I find out you're feeding information to that girlfriend of yours, there will be trouble."

"How did..." Maura trailed off. "You've been following me again."

"They come for me, they come for you. Don't you get that?" He emptied a drawer into another box and opened up an envelope, he slipped out several bags of powder, then returned them to the envelope. He held it out to her. "I need you to keep this."

Her mouth dropped open. She took the envelope, wordlessly, unable to speak. She reached in and pulled out one of the bags, dropping it back inside. She tossed the envelope onto the desk. "No. No. I refuse."

"You do as I ask."

"How many times will you put my life at risk with your work?" Maura folded her arms across her chest and stood back. "My future. You're risking everything because of this."

"Your future?" He scoffed. "You don't need to go to some poncy school to have a future. You've got me."

"You're in danger every single day."

"It's part of the job."

"I don't want it to be part of my life," Maura said. "I want to live peacefully. I don't want to be Paddy Doyle's daughter. I don't want to be branded a criminal. I want to be a doctor. I want to help people."

He banged his fist down on the table and stared at her. "And you will, if you keep your damn mouth shut."

"I refuse to take this," she said, pointing to the drugs. "I know how much they destroy lives. I won't look after something so powerful and dangerous."

"You will do as I ask or you won't get your inheritance," he said, pushing the envelope back into her hands.

Maura threw it on the desk, rage bubbling up inside her chest. "Maybe I don't want my inheritance, maybe I don't want you to help me go to medical school. Maybe I'm done being your daughter."

Taken aback, he stared at her, long and hard. His face contorted, his eyes housed an anger unlike any Maura had seen in a long time. She stared him down, not giving up the fight for her freedom.

"Okay."

"Okay?" She shook her head, her mouth open again. "Why?"

He clicked his tongue and handed her the envelope again. She stared down at it, confused. "One more month. You do everything I ask for one more month and you get money for school. That's all you get. You're through with me, I'm through with you. You're a fucking liability. You help me through the month and you get paid, then we're done. You don't get another dime from me, and you're free to go to medical school and become some fancy doctor."

"Are you sure?" she asked, staring, gobsmacked. She couldn't find anymore words. She didn't care about his money, she never had done. All she needed was enough to get her through school and she'd be okay.

"I can change my mind, if you'd prefer," he said. "You accept the terms and we'll be done in a month."

"What terms?"

"I need you here more. I need your help moving stuff. The cops are onto me. They know my movements outside of here. They know where I live, where I bank, where I shop. I need you to do my work out there."

"What kind of work?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Stuff. You ask what kind of work again, and I won't be against shooting you in the head."

"Fine."

"We got a deal?"

"One month." She clutched the envelope against her stomach. "I do your 'stuff', you give me my money, and we're done."

"We're done. Except you're still my daughter. You still come visit me. You don't get anymore of my money but I still want you in my life. Got it?"

"Got it."

x

Turning around, Jane was amazed by the BRIC. She'd never seen so much modern technology in one place before. As a rookie, she didn't expect she'd ever get to play in there, they didn't even own a computer at home. If she was honest, she still wasn't sure she knew how to turn one on. Not the new ones, anyway, and the room was filled with them.

"This is where the detectives come for information, the team here can pull up street cameras, digitised case files. This is the future of the work. You need to stay on top of it. Any changes in technology will come through here."

"What's this?" Deacon asked, picking up a piece of plastic.

"It's a computer mouse, you dipshit," Foolhardy said, grabbing it and placing it back down on the counter. "You never seen a computer before?"

"Whatever."

"What are they working on?" Jane asked, glancing at the screens. She stepped forward, mesmerised. "Is this an open case?"

"Patrick Doyle."

Jane turned, the man stood behind her was unfamiliar. "Who's Patrick Doyle?"

"He's a dangerous man," he said, he turned to Foolhardy. "Don't your kittens know about Doyle?"

"Not told them about him, yet," Foolhardy said, standing to attention. "This is Detective Korsak, he's been with the Organised Crimes unit for a while."

"What's the significance of Doyle?" Jane asked.

"Who are you?" Korsak asked.

"Officer Rizzoli, sir." She stood upright. Korsak stood opposite her.

"Well, Rizzoli, Doyle is a mobster. He's a career criminal who has half of Boston under his thumb. He's involved in drugs, weapon trafficking, he's even been known to transport people into this country illegally. Name a crime, he's involved."

"Are you any closer to catching him?"

"We're working on it. Foolhardy, get the kittens out of here. Let the detectives do their work."

"I had another question," Jane said.

"Save it," Foolhardy said. "They're too busy working to answer questions from new recruits."

"But."

"Move it, Rizzoli."

x

Maura handed Jane a potted plant and entered the apartment. She walked across the wooden floor toward the window and stared out at the street below.

"What am I meant to do with this?" Jane asked.

Maura turned, smiling. "You you can use it for decoration, or you can let it die."

"I have to be responsible for it?" Jane groaned. "Do I like water it or something?"

"It's low maintenance. It's from the succulent family, so you don't need to water it as frequently. Especially in winter, you probably won't need to water it much at all. But don't let it get too dry if there's a heatwave."

"Okay." Jane placed it on the kitchen counter. "I can manage that, I think."

"It's a nice apartment."

"It'll do."

Stepping forward, Maura wrapped her arms around Jane's waist and pulled her in for a kiss. Jane deepened it, tangling her fingers up in the back of Maura's hair. Eventually, Maura stepped back, breathless.

"You haven't even got your bed set up," she said, raising an eyebrow.

"No need," Jane said, motioning across the room. "I got a mattress, what more do I need?"

"A mattress isn't a bed."

"I know. I was joking." She went to the fridge and pulled out a couple of beers, cracking open the tops. She handed one to Maura.

"I see you've got your priorities straight."

She shrugged. "I thought we could toast my new place."

Clinking her bottle against Jane's, Maura sipped her beer, gulping a couple of mouthfuls down before placing it on the counter top. "I like what you've done with the place."

"Right?" Jane walked over to the mattress. "I have the bedroom over here, over there I'm gonna put the lounge/diner, and then we have the kitchen."

"It's cosy."

"It's mine," Jane said, her face lit up. She leaned over and placed a kiss on Maura's mouth. Maura followed as she pulled away, kissing her again. Jane cupped her face. "All mine. No disturbances. Nothing to stop us."

"Us?" Maura asked, pressing her body against Jane's, capturing her mouth once more. "Am I staying over tonight?"

"You can stay over every night," Jane said. She placed her beer beside Maura's and stepped away, rushing across the room to a small chest of drawers. "Come here."

"What is it?" she asked, following.

"This," Jane said, opening the top drawer. "This is yours."

Maura reached in and pulled out a toothbrush still in its packet. "Are you trying to tell me something about my dental hygiene?"

"No." Jane took the toothbrush off her. "Not that, the drawer. I thought you could use it to store some things."

"What kind of things?"

Jane's eyebrows creased together. "I was gonna say nightgown, but I don't think you'll need that here. Then there was underwear, but you don't really need to wear that, either."

"So, you're giving me a drawer but I don't need to put anything in it?"

Jane held up the toothbrush. "Here. You can have this. For when you stay over."

Clutching it in her arms, Maura grinned. "It's really romantic."

"A drawer and a toothbrush?" Jane frowned.

Maura rolled her eyes and kissed her. "No. The offer of somewhere to store things, knowing you want me here."

"Of course I want you here. You're my girlfriend."

"Can I stay tonight?"

Jane picked up a box beside the drawers. "Only if you help me build the bed."

"Only if we get to test it out once it's up."

"Grab my beer, I'll get the screwdriver."


	18. Chapter Seventeen

**Author Note** **: Thanks for reading, it's been a struggle this week, but I'm starting to make a little progress on my stories. Here's to another chapter.**

* * *

Sweat covered her skin, her cheeks laced with tears. Jane rolled onto her side, gasping for air, as the darkness wrapped around her neck. She reached a hand out, gripping Maura's arm tightly, her fingernails dug into her skin.

"Ow," she said, waking suddenly. She turned over, slipping her arms quickly around Jane's shoulders. "Jane?"

"I can't," she sobbed, grappling with skin, pulling herself closer to Maura until she could push her face against her breast and breath in the sweet scent of her girlfriend's body.

"Breath," Maura said, climbing over onto her other side and crouching down beside her. She cupped her face and stared into her eyes. "Slowly in, and out."

Jane followed her instructions, emulating each careful breath until her heart rate slowed and her breathing became less of a struggle. She shifted across the bed a little. Maura climbed in beside her, again, her arms outstretched around Jane's middle.

"You're okay," she whispered, her words travelled through the darkness. "You're going to be okay."

"It felt so real," she said, her words muffled by Maura's skin. "Like I was losing her all over again."

"Your mother?"

"Yeah." She wiped her eyes clear from tears, breathed in deeply to ward off the fresh tears threatening to fall. Then ignored them as they trailed back down her cheeks, retracing the steps of tears gone by.

"It's okay," Maura said, squeezing her tightly. "Try to get back to sleep."

"I can't," she said. "I miss her so much."

"I know you do."

"I should be better, it should be easier, it's been weeks."

"There's no timeline for grief."

Jane placed her hands on Maura's cheeks and brushed her lips across her mouth. "I need to be better."

"You can't rush it."

"I don't wanna feel it anymore," Jane said.

Covering Jane's hands over her face, Maura leaning in and kissed her again. "You've been doing okay; it was because of the dream."

"It's not," Jane said. "I feel it all the time."

"It'll take a while."

"I don't want it to. I need to stop feeling like this." Jane pushed her hands away and sat up. She pushed the bedsheets aside and reached for her cell phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Phoning Deacon."

"Why?" Maura frowned. "It's the middle of the night."

"I need something to feel better."

"Something?" Maura sat up beside her. "Like drugs?"

"That night, when we had the doobie, I forgot everything."

"No, Jane," Maura said, gripping her shaking hands. "You don't need to do that."

"I need to do something."

"Then let's go for a walk. You don't need drugs."

"I could walk."

"Okay."

x

The cool, late night breeze whistled through the trees. Maura clung to Jane's hand, aware of every shake, every excessive squeeze. Occasionally, she squeezed back, reminding her that she was there beside her as they paced the city streets. She didn't anticipate Jane had a destination in mind, and only influenced their direction when she found reason to avoid a dark row or pitch black parkland.

"Do you ever wonder what life would be like if everything was different?"

Maura frowned, straightening up. "What kind of different?"

"If your dad wasn't your dad, if Ma hadn't died, if I'd gone to college instead of joining the police force."

"I suppose I do," Maura said. "I think about my father a lot. When I was small I didn't really know about his work, but I knew my daddy did something I wasn't to talk about. I knew my mother was scared of him, but she tried to tell me I shouldn't feel that way. I used to dream that my mom would marry someone else, that he'd adopt me and we'd move across country and start a new life."

"Happened a bit too late?"

"My step-dad?" Maura nodded. "My father would never allow him to adopt me. My mom would never fight him on it."

"Did he ever hurt you as a kid?"

"No." Maura sighed. "Except one time. We were at a park and it was late. I didn't want to get off the swing set. He shouted at me so loud that I ran off, screaming and crying. I thought I could outrun him, but I was only small. He grabbed my wrist so hard that it bruised. I stayed off school until it healed, so nobody would know."

"Jeez, Maura."

"Jane."

She stopped walking. The darkened street forked into two. Maura let go of Jane's hand and turned to face her in the moonlight. She stared up at her eyes, so lost and broken. She ran a couple of fingers across her cheek.

"Yeah?"

"Do you regret meeting me?"

"I..."

"I'd understand if you do. What you said when you found out about his role in your mother's death."

"How could I regret this?" Jane asked, hooking her little finger around Maura's. "Do I wish it had happened differently? Do I wish Ma didn't have to die? Of course I do. But I don't think I'd ever regret you."

She spread her hand across Jane's cheek and stared deeper into her eyes.

"Jane."

"Yeah?"

Her pager beeped in her pocket, cutting through the silence of the late night. Maura lowered her hand and reached for it. She stared down at the '911' and groaned.

"What's wrong?"

"Have you ever heard of Paddy Doyle?" she asked, before she could back out. She wanted to be honest, she needed to share her biggest fears with her girlfriend, or they would threaten to tear them apart.

"The mobster?"

She nodded, glancing back down at the pager. "He's my dad."

"What?" Jane leaned forward.

Maura looked away, too afraid to see the look on Jane's face. "I need you to know that I hate him with every fibre of my being, and I've never hated anyone before. Not like this. I know the police are close to finding him, to catching him. I try not to get involved, I don't want to. He's put me in a position that makes this so much harder."

"Paddy Doyle is your father," Jane said, staring at her, she nodded. "Paddy Doyle killed my mom."

"I'm sorry, Jane. I'm so sorry."

The longest silence followed, swirling around in the breeze, travelling back and forth between the buildings and out across the city. Maura choked back a couple of tears.

"Do you hate me?"

"No," Jane said, running a hand across her upper arm. "I don't hate you. I don't know what to do now that I know."

"What to do?"

"Maura, he's dangerous."

She laughed, making Jane's frown deepen. "I know how dangerous he is. I've lived with his risk my whole life."

With a hand on each arm, Jane leaned close, her eyes fixed on Maura's. "Go to the cops."

"What?"

"I'll go with you. Let's get him put behind bars before he can hurt anyone else."

Maura shrugged her hands away. "It doesn't work like that."

"Yes it does."

Maura sighed. "No. You're in law enforcement, Jane. You see the world as black and white. Legal or illegal. Right or wrong. Paddy's world is fifty shades of grey. He knows ways to get to people before they even know they're in danger. Look at what he did to you."

"What else can we do?"

She turned around and stared out across the near-empty road. She glanced across the street at an old store, the shopfront battered and rotting. A car sped past, too fast for the quiet street corner they'd lingered on.

"Hope he's right," she said, staring into the window across the road, focusing on the remnants of a tailors abandoned inside. She turned back to Jane. "That the police are going to strike, and soon. Hope they find the right location."

"And what if we don't?" Jane ran a hand through her hair. She ran her hands up and down her arms, a chill coursed past them. "What if we have it wrong?"

"Then you'll try again," Maura said.

"Isn't there anything you can do?" Jane asked, her eyes wild, dancing back and forth.

"Like what?" she asked, shrugging. "He loves me, I'm his daughter, but I know if I'm responsible for his downfall, he _will_ kill me."

Jane sighed. She opened her mouth to speak, then paused, and closed it again, before she found the right words. "He thinks we know, so give us the right answer, Maura. Let us be right."

"I don't, I don't know if I can do that."

"You can do anything. Just say it, say the words and I'll make sure the right people know."

Betraying her father was the one thing she had never considered doing, for a multitude of reasons, but mostly, up until recently, she didn't feel passionately enough to go against him. She was scared, more scared now than at any point when she could see his hand flying in her direction. She shook her head, folding her arms across her chest. She turned away again, scanning the city street for any sign of being followed. She closed her eyes and stared at the floor.

"He's gone back to the first warehouse he ever used."

Jane stepped closer. "Do you know which that is?"

"No." She traced the line of the concrete flags on the sidewalk, her eyes trailing it back and forth until it disappeared into the distance. "But the police raided it years ago. There's a dozen places he's fled. His resources are vast but they're not infinite. He'll return to where he feels safe and he feels safe where he thinks he won't get hit. The last couple of places would be his last resort."

"So, we hit them all?"

The excitement in Jane's voice shook her to her core. She'd put the wheels in motion and she couldn't turn back. She'd said too much and now she was at risk. She scanned the street again, not sure what she'd do even if she saw someone watching her.

"I don't know," she said.

Jane grabbed her hands and held them up between them. "It's worth a try."

Maura shook her head, comforted only briefly by Jane's touch. "How are you going to make sure the police know that, Jane?"

"I don't know." She gripped her hands tighter. "What was that before?"

"My beeper?" Maura asked. Jane nodded. "He needs me. One of his men will have been shot or hurt in some way. I have to help."

"No! You can't go!"

"I have to." She tugged her hands away and marched back up the street. She could hear the clack of Jane's shoes following her. "If I don't go he'll get suspicious."

"It's not safe," Jane said.

Maura shook her head and continued onward. "What's not safe is talking to you about this."

"Okay." Jane fell into step beside her, walking at a speed Maura was sure she wouldn't be able to keep up. She was already exhausted. When Jane's fingers tucked around her hand again, she allowed her fingers to wrap around Jane's. "Let's walk home like none of this happened, then you can go do what you need to do."


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**Author Note** **: Thanks to everyone who has been reading and commenting, etc. I am making good progress with this fic, partly because my last two shifts at work have involved me sitting in a room waiting for people to come and do a craft activity. Which means I can make use of said time by writing in a notebook. Yay. So I have another chapter after this practically written, I just need to write it up and amend it. I do have another chapter of Caecus part written, but I didn't get very much response on the last chapter, so might leave that a few days, as it's a bit odd (I don't usually comment on these things, but it was unusually quiet in the comments section, compared to every single other chapter).**

 **So here is the next chapter of Rookie, in which we go back to the start...**

* * *

The squad room was full; every square inch housed an officer sipping coffee or eating one of the many Danishes someone had brought in. Jane stood in a corner, far from the exit, and bitterly regretting not grabbing a coffee or Danish before the room filled up. She could barely move, and the air was stifling.

A number of officers dispersed enough to allow the slightly greying Detective Korsak to enter the room. His stomach swelled a little from what Jane could only assume to be a good, regular meal, and plenty of beer. But behind his goatee was a tight mouth and his eyes drooped with tiredness.

"Thank you for your patience, Officers," he said, his voice bellowed across the room and everyone fell silent. On his left, Office Foolhardy and several of the other senior officers stood to attention. "As some of you know we've been working on a massive case – it crosses departments, and districts, stretching into Connecticut, Vermont, and New York state. But its home is right here in Boston. Patrick Doyle has had control over our streets for far too long, and we're finally going to bring the bastard down."

The room erupted into chaos as several more experienced officers rapped their hands against tables, walls and thighs. Korsak raised a hand and they quietened down.

"We need all hands on deck; even the recent graduates. This is one of the biggest operations in Boston Police Department's history and you're going to be part of it. Feel the ego now, if you must, but put it aside when we begin. We're going to hit eight different warehouses and six other buildings. Report to your commanding officer for details. You have two hours to get your shit together. Call your kids to wish them goodnight, do whatever it is you do at this time during a usual shift. In two hours we need you at the top of your game. We expect to arrest a lot of people, and if you spot Patrick Doyle, approach with caution. He's well protected and his followers are not against shooting officers. I'll see you at the debrief."

The officers at the far side dispersed again, providing Korsak with a pathway out of the room. Chaos returned to the room as officer cajoled and laughed, talking a mile a minute to each other.

Foolhardy's voice raised above the crowd and Jane followed him out into the corridor with several other officers.

"Read this," he said, handing them a small pack. "This is everything you need to know. We're in van three leaving here in two hours. I want no fuck ups, got that?"

The other officers walked away, their packs in hand. Jane turned to follow them down the corridor when Foolhardy grabbed her arm.

"Rizzoli, you're my right hand man. I need you by my side at all times."

"Yes, Sir," she said, standing to attention. He edged forward, forcing her backward against the wall. She stared into his eyes and shuddered.

"I hope you know what sort of shit I had to pull to get you on this. This can make your future, kid. I have high hopes for you, but you need to remember who got you this far," he said, running a finger across her cheek. She shrunk a little, nausea churning her stomach. "Perhaps when this is all over you can repay me."

"I," she tried to speak but words felt strange in her throat. "I thought you were married."

"Tomatoes, tomatoes." He smirked. "I'm doing this for you. At your stage, you're too new to be of any use in an operation. I'm giving you more than I should. You owe me."

She sighed, her eyes fixed on his. "With all due respect, Sir. I'm the best. I came top in my class. I earned my spot."

"Let's get one thing straight, Rizzoli," he said, his breath painful against her cheek. "Women cut it, not like men. So, no, you didn't. You got lucky. Maybe the men in your group are pansies, maybe you're different, I dunno. Women never get this far, not without a little extra help. If you catch my drift."

She froze, his fingers trailed along the edge of her neck and down between the buttons of her shirt. She barely breathed, her breath hitched in her throat.

"I do, Sir."

"Good girl, Rizzoli."

He stepped back, laying the briefest kiss on her cheek. She swallowed, gasping for air as Foolhardy made his way back down the corridor. She rushed off in the opposite direction. Flustered, she walked quickly, stopping only as she collided headfirst into Detective Korsak.

"What's the rush?"

"No rush," she said, her head bowed, her cheeks bright red. "Sir."

"Looks like there is to me."

She lifted her chin and stared into his eyes; softer, kinder than she ever expected, and far friendlier than Officer Foolhardy's. She choked back a couple of tears. She couldn't cry. Not now. Not in front of Detective Korsak. He rested a hand on her shoulder and guided her down the corridor, and into a meeting room.

"Talk."

"No time," she said, holding up the pack crumpled up in her hand. "You're busy, I'm busy."

"I'm never too busy to listen to an upset colleague."

"I'm fine."

"Bullshit."

"I can't."

"Bullshit again." She stared at her shoes, the toes were a little scuffed and her laces could do with being tied again. "Foolhardy been getting handy again?"

She lifted her gaze. "What?"

"You think we don't know? He's known as Foolhandy by the detectives. He comes from a different way of thinking, he's old school, believes women don't belong here. I thought you'd be alright with him. You're not afraid to push boundaries. You've got more balls than any recruit in the last decade. That's what they're saying."

"I've had a difficult year." Jane shrugged.

"Haven't we all." He patted her arm. "Stand up to him, Rizzoli. Nobody's gonna strike you down for it. I think we'd all applaud. You're the brightest recruit we have, don't let that jerk ruin it for you, or for Boston. They need an officer like you."

She swallowed the lump in her throat and pushed aside the desire to cry. "Thank you, Sir."

"Sort yourself out and get back out there."

"I will do."

"And Jane?"

"Yeah?"

Korsak smirked. "They say he's got a really small dick. Something you might wanna think about using to your advantage."

Trying not to smile, she nodded her head. "Thank you, Detective."

"It's Vince. Anytime you need anything, advice on the job, whatever, don't come to me." Jane narrowed her eyes. "Just joshing you. My door's open. I see potential in you and I don't want it ruined."

"I appreciate that, Sir."

He patted her arms again and headed for the door. "See you when we get back."

x

Maura entered the warehouse at the wrong moment. She'd been with her father for most of the night and day, only for him to call her back the second her head hit the pillow at her mother's house. When she finally entered the warehouse again, flames engulfed Paddy's office and everyone was rushing back and forth across the room. She stepped forward, only to rush back again as someone sped past her. She rested a hand against her chest, her heart leapt into her throat.

"Dad?" she shouted, rushing forward, her throat ached with every smoke-filled breath she took. After everything, she didn't want it to end this way. She moved across the warehouse floor, the heat became more and more overpowering as she approached the office. Her lungs ached.

"He's not here," a tall man with muscles said, before collapsing on the floor beside her. She crouched down and checked his vitals, consciously aware of the burns covering his hands and moulding with the fabric of his shirt. His nose and mouth were covered in black soot.

"It's okay, Johnny," she said, pressing her palm to his cheek. He's always been a nice man. Despite his criminal affiliation, he'd treated her like a human, and not just because she was Patrick Doyle's daughter. "I'll help you."

She swallowed a lump in her throat, knowing without much more assessment that Johnny wouldn't make it out of the warehouse alive. She lowered her face to his chest, struggling to breathe through the increased presence of smoke. She glanced across at the office, completed destroyed. Smoke billowed up into the space above her head and she was thankful they were in a large building. She clutched Johnny's shaking hand, listening to his breathing as it rattled, then slowed right down, disappearing completely.

"I'm so sorry," she said, stroking his cheek again. She closed his eyelids and crossed his hand over his stomach.

Climbing to her feet, she rushed for the exit. Outside a number of men carried boxes across the courtyard. She followed them between a couple of other buildings and out towards another warehouse. She went to her car, desperate to get out of there. She needed to call her father.

"Give us your keys," someone shouted.

She turned. One of her father's right hand men held out his hand, his face contorted with anguish. She shook her head. He stepped forward and grasped her hair, tugging it back until she dropped her keys onto the floor.

"Thank you," he said, smirking. He reached down and took them. "I'll have it back here for you as soon as I drop this stuff off at the other warehouse."

They sped off in her car. Maura stood, stranded, unsure of what to do next. She reached for her purse, for her cell to call her father, but it wasn't there. She looked back up, to the car disappearing around the corner. Smoke billowed from the warehouse. It wasn't safe anymore. She set off at a jog, speeding up the further away she got. In the distance, a gun shot. It pierced the air like a needle popping a balloon.

Bang.

She froze. She didn't know which direction it came from, and didn't care to find out. Setting off again, she turned a corner only to come upon a maze of shipping containers, warehouses and other buildings. She turned back but every twist and turn brought her to another building, or another row of containers. She stopped to rest, breathing heavily as she leaned back against a wall.

Another gunshot filled the air.

Closer than the first.

Footsteps echoed, a man groaned. She followed the sound, cautious with every step. She was either walking into a trap, or at the very least, a dangerous situation. Her heart beat faster with every step, thrumming in her ears.

On the floor, a man lay curled up clutching his side. She didn't recognise him. He could be the very same people trying to hurt her father, but she couldn't leave him there to die. He groaned again.

"Hello," she said, taking tentative steps forward.

"Help me," he said, reaching out a blood stained hand.

"What happened?" she asked, kneeling beside him and lifting the edge of his blood soaked shirt. The fabric stuck to the wound, the man screamed out when she tugged it away.

"They're coming," he said, quieter, his breath more laboured. He panicked, pushing her away and struggling to his feet.

"Don't." She stood beside him, reaching a hand out to steady him. "You'll only get worse."

"We can't stay here."

"Okay." She allowed him to lead them back through the maze, trying every door they passed until Maura pressed down on a handle and the back door to a warehouse opened.

They stumbled inside. A large room opened up. Maura lowered the man down onto the floor. "I'll see what I can get to help you."

"Thank you," he said, gripping her arm.

She ran her fingers across his shoulder and walked around the warehouse. She returned with nothing in her hands.

"It's empty. I couldn't even find running water."

"It's okay," he said, perching on a metal chair he'd found while she was busy.

"You should be on the floor," Maura said. "In case you get faint."

"I'm fine."

"What's your name?"

"Andy."

"I'm Maura."

"I'd say it's nice to meet you," he said, struggling with every new breath. "But I'd rather not be shot right now."

"You should take that off," Maura said, lifting his shirt. He raised his arms, screaming as the movement tugged at his skin. Maura tossed the t-shirt away and ran her fingers around the gunshot wound.

A loud bang startled her. The door opened, splintered off its hinges and landed on the floor.

"Boston PD, down on the ground," a man shouted.

Maura recognised him.

Her gaze travelled to his side, where Jane stood with her gun outstretched. Maura's blood ran cold. This couldn't be happening. She followed their instructions and lay on the ground. Felt the familiar warmth of Jane against her back as she cuffed her. She closed her eyes and tried to remember a few nights earlier, the first time Jane had cuffed her when they were in bed together. She held onto that feeling as they walked out of the warehouse, her head filled with the scent of Jane's body, the speed of her heart, and a memory that only sought to make it harder. Humiliation spread to her cheeks.

The journey in the back of the police car felt like torture. She could feel the hairs on Jane's arms brush against her own. When they climbed out, she bent over, feigning injury just to get Jane close.

"My car," she whispered, gasping for air. "It's at warehouse sixty-four. There's a pack of heroin in the trunk, with the gun."

"Okay," Jane said, the question never asked, confirmation never made. Maura didn't know if she'd help or not, but she needed to try. Her lesser crimes could be explained away, but nothing would address the Pandora's box in her trunk.

"Thank you," she said, standing upright again.

When she told the officer at the booking desk her name, she could see the confusion in Jane's eyes. Her heart ached. Her future was in Jane's hands, and it hurt to think it could risk her own career.

* * *

 **Author Note** **: For now I shall go back to my rewatch of Charmed...**


	20. Chapter Nineteen

**Author Note** **: Wow, the response to the last chapter was more than I expected. Thank you so much. We are really on the final descent with this fic. I'm a little sad we're so close to the end, after all this time. There's still a few more chapters to go, but it's certainly not far from off.**

* * *

She paced back and forth outside Boston Police Department. Her mind down in the cells, with Maura. The night had taken a turn Jane least expected – not just because she'd had to arrest her girlfriend but because of the unspoken question between them.

What choice did she have?

It was only a matter of time before they found Maura's car and discovered the things Jane wished she didn't know existed. How had her life become such a mess?

"You're gonna end up in China," Korsak said. She turned around. He smiled, and pulled a cigarette packet from his pocket, offering it to her.

"No, thanks." She narrowed her eyes. "You do know that stuff'll kill you..."

"Been trying to quit for years, but you know how it is."

"Yeah."

She knew all too well. She'd never been a smoker, and up until recently hadn't been much of a drinker either. The memory of the pot she'd smoked not long ago lingered. She cleared her throat and turned around, facing the parking lot in front of them.

"Foolhardy hasn't been bothering you again, already, has he?"

"No."

In some ways she wished he had. She could handle misogyny. She couldn't handle the choice between risking her career or risking her girlfriend ending up in jail for a long time. She wanted neither to happen, yet felt powerless to stop both.

"Have you ever had a difficult decision to make?"

"Hundreds." His eyebrows creased together. "Is this work related?"

"Kinda."

"One thing I've learned over the years is that the right answer doesn't necessarily feel good. There's a lot of things we have to do that doesn't feel okay; shooting people who need a hospital not a prison; shopping abusive parents to child protective services even when we know the good parent will be punished too. Nothing is black and white, no matter what they tell you."

She sighed, and faced him. "You ever committed a crime, Korsak?"

He laughed, his cigarette unlit in his hand. "Haven't we all? Not saying I've ever murdered someone, but I've had my fair share of speeding tickets."

He stared at her for a moment. Jane breathed in slightly, then sighed again. "Would you ever risk your career for someone you loved?"

"Depends how much I love 'em." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "It'd be a real shame to lose you to something petty."

"Yeah. I guess it would."

He sparked up his cigarette and breathed out a puff of smoke. "Not quite the result we wanted tonight. But getting his daughter might help. Who know Patrick Doyle with have kids?"

"Yeah." Jane tucked her hands in her pockets. Her throat closed over. If only Korsak knew how much more she knew about Paddy Doyle. "Maybe he'll surface soon."

"We can only hope."

x

The trunk was open. Jane stared into the darkness at the contents. In the few weeks as a proper officer, she'd never seen that much heroin before. The block felt heavy. It was probably worth more than she could ever guess. She leaned forward, her hands on the sides of the car. She could still turn back. The crime scene unit were working their way around the warehouses.

She didn't have time to hesitate, but she did have time to close the trunk and leave the gun and drugs where they were. She didn't even know the ramifications of not doing so. Maura's car wasn't near enough to any of the warehouses for them to suspect it could be connected, but it was the only car in the vicinity that Jane had seen. She'd purposefully left her own across town and caught a cab a few blocks away. She pulled the hood of her sweater tightly around her face.

In her mind, she thought of Maura sitting in the dock facing a crime Jane was sure she had no interest in committing. Drug possession, especially with the intent to supply, carried such a heavy sentence that Jane couldn't bear the thought of what would happen.

The look on Maura's face when she entered the warehouse was etched in her mind forever. She picked up the gun and the drugs and stuffed them into the pockets of her sweater. She closed the trunk and looked around.

She rushed off in the direction of the river. The night had closed in hours ago. Darkness surrounded her. She found a secluded spot on the bank, at least a few hundred metres from anywhere. She wiped the gun down with her sweater and tossing it as far as she could into the murky water in the distance. She watched it disappear below the surface.

That was the easy part.

She couldn't risk the drugs washing up in full further down river. If people died because she'd disposed of the heroine in such a way, she couldn't live with herself. She ripped a hole in the packet and shook it over the side, watching as the powder disintegrated.

Standing upright, she pulled the hood tighter around her face and continued moving forward, away from the crime scene. Away from her cover up. She walked down the side of the river, away from the warehouses, away from everything she wished she didn't know.

She felt sickness in the pit of her stomach.

A few hundred metres down river, she crossed a section of water that splintered off along the edge of the city. She marched up a couple of steps and into a crowded bar. In the bathroom she lowered her hood and stared at her reflection. She splashed water across her face. Her stomach churned.

She turned to the toilet bowl, wrapping her arms around it as the contents of her stomach pushed their way back out through her mouth. Her stomach contracted, her throat ached, the harder she vomited.

Wiping down her mouth and splashing fresh water across her burning cheeks, she slipped off the sweater and abandoned it in the bathroom. She returned to the street, a chill quickly reached her arms. She flagged down a cab and return to her car, driving the rest of the way back to her apartment.

Inside, she vomited again, hugging the toilet bowl until all she could do was dry heave. There was enough distance between each step she'd taken that it would be difficult for anyone to join the dots. She hoped. She lay down on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, sipping a glass of water. Her body felt like it was going to fail.

Her heart sped along, her mouth tingled, and she vomited once more. Tears pooled around her eyelids. She rubbed her aching stomach, and hoped she was done. There was nothing left to throw back up. She curled back under the bed sheets, and closed her eyes.

What had she done?

x

Urine assaulted her nose. The hard 'bed' was anything but comfortable. Maura had been there all night; she was exhausted. She didn't know how anyone would sleep in a room like that. Maybe that was the point. They'd thrown in a tray of eggs and bread, and a bottle of water, first thing. But she couldn't stomach it.

She wondered if her mother would be worried; if she even knew she was there, or just assumed she was staying at Jane's like she had been doing a lot. Then there was Jane; had she done what she needed her to? Had they found the car? Had Jane gone home and slept in her bed along, hoping she was with her? She'd certainly wished she was in that bed.

Her heart ached when she thought about the look on her face; the disappointment in her eyes. Could they get past what Maura had technically asked her to do?

The cell door opened. An officer stared at her like she was something he'd dragged in on his shoe. The chance of him being Jane was slim, but she still felt devastated that it wasn't.

"Your lawyer's here."

"I didn't," she started to say but he turned his head, his eyes glazed over like he was thinking about something else. She stood up and followed him out of the cell. Freedom was a strange thing. She hadn't realised how free she was – even under Paddy's thumb. It was nothing compared to the night in the cell. To the future she didn't know she had anymore.

What if she got a criminal record? Would she ever be able to become a doctor? It was all she'd dreamed of. She didn't know what else she could do.

In the interview room, a balding man sat with a stern expression on his face. Maura sat down opposite him, her shoulders hunched, her face taut.

"Don't say anything," he said.

"Can I ask your name? Did my mother ask you to come?"

"Everything will be fine if you stay quiet. I'm here at your father's request."

"How does he even know I'm here? Where is he?"

"That's not your concern. They want to interview you. You say nothing. Understand? I'll do the talking."

"I understand."

An officer escorted them both to the interrogation room. Maura sat beside the man. She stared at the mirrored glass in front of her. Could Jane be behind the glass watching? Would she dare involved herself in this? She wasn't supposed to be part of it. Her field was far below that of organised criminal activity. Still, it felt comforting to imagine here there, watching her, willing for a good response.

"State your name for the recording," Detective Korsak said, after introducing himself.

"Maura Dorthea Doyle."

"Ms Doyle, please tell us what you were doing at the warehouse last night."

The lawyer jumped in before Maura could respond. "Ms Doyle is not going to answer your questions. This proceeding should not continue. It is not a crime to help a person in need. You have no evidence, no way of proving that Ms Doyle has committed any criminal activity."

"Well." Korsak's eyebrows lowered, he leaned forward. He had a kind smile, making the whole experience that little bit easier. "Ms Doyle. We know you're the daughter of Patrick Doyle. We need your help to find him."

"You cannot be serious," the lawyer said. "If you have no evidence, or crime to chare my client with, you have no reason to hold her. I suggest you give up the charade, Detective Korsak. You cannot arrest someone for their affiliation, or blood relation, to Patrick Doyle."

"Ms Doyle, you were found stood in the middle of a property believed to have been used recently by Patrick Doyle. The man you were with had been seriously wounded by a bullet. Please tell us what happened."

"She found him that way."

"If you'd please let Ms Doyle answer," Korsak said, his patience wearing thin.

"Why? She will say the same as I have. She came across the man. She tried to help."

"Most people do not come across someone who has been shot in a warehouse," Korsak said. "Why were you there, Ms Doyle?"

"What Ms Doyle was or wasn't doing in a business venue is of no business to you. No crime has been committed. No evidence has been presented to the contrary. You need to let my client go."

x

When Hope Martin arrived an hour later, Maura fell into her arms. She clung to her mother, desperate to feel her love, her comfort. Her lawyer had left moments after they agreed to release her, and she'd been left to fend for herself with little more than a phone call offered to her. The thirty minutes she spent in the waiting area, alone, was the longest wait of her life. She wished she had her cell phone so she could call Jane, and didn't think it a good idea to attempt to call her via the Police Department's phone.

"I can't believe he put you in this position," Hope said, as they drove back across town.

She shrunk against the seat of the car. In the back, Cailin wriggled around, kicking her boots against the back of Maura's chair and singing a childish song. In her night in the cell, there were many things she hadn't even considered yet. If she'd been charged, she might not have gotten out of jail until Cailin was a teenager. A lump settled painfully in the back of her throat.

"I have some money."

"What money?" Maura asked, staring at her mother.

"It's not much, otherwise I'd have offered it to you for school. I got it from Patrick a long time ago. I can't spend it. It's not money I wish to spend. It's enough for you to move away."

"No," Maura said, sitting upright. She glanced again at Cailin through the side mirror. Her little sister was completely oblivious to the drama in the car. "I'm not leaving."

"It might be your only option, Maura." Hope sighed. "I don't want you to go any more than you want to, believe me. I need you to be safe. If that means letting you go, then so be it."

"No."

"There's enough for Jane to go with you."

"I said no." Maura slouched back in her seat, tears stung her eyes. She heard her voice break before she felt it. "Jane would never leave her family, and I'm not going to leave without Jane. Or you."

The car pulled to a stop at a red light. Hope turned to face her and gripped her hand. Maura smiled weakly back. "Then I suppose we will have to hope the police can resolve this sooner rather than later."


	21. Chapter Twenty

**Author** **Note** **: Thank you all for your wonderful messages, and for showing an interest in this story. I'm trying to get it finished now, because I feel like I'm on a roll. Of course my other stories are still being written, I just need to get back into Lullaby and try and crack out another chapter of Caecus soon. For now here is another chapter of Rookie...**

* * *

"Officer Rizzoli."

She stood opposite Foolhardy, a frown etched across her face. She wasn't due in for a couple of days and yet she stood in the entrance of Boston Police Department, her Field Training Officer in front of her.

"What did you want me for, Sir?"

"Come with me," he said, turning tail and walking through security.

He waved a hand and she followed. Her heart leapt into her throat. She wiped her sweaty palms across the thighs of her jeans and stood up straight. She could feel the bags weighting heavy under her eyes, her whole body felt like it needed a long sleep. The night before she'd tossed and turned. She'd vomited a couple more times.

All of Jane's life, she tried to do the right thing. She wanted, above all else, to make her parents proud. Becoming a police officer fit into that scenario, that vision for her future. Her chest ached at the thought of what she could have done to it.

"Detective Korsak is in there," Foolhardy said, signalling to an interview room.

"Detective Korsak? I don't understand."

Foolhardy narrowed his eyes. "Sure you do."

"I really don't."

He pressed his lips together and placed a hand against the door. Jane stood, with her back against it, imprisoned once more by the man who made her skin crawl. She tried to hold her breath, the sickly scent of his body odour filled her mind, distracting her momentarily from her potential downfall.

"I don't teach crooked cops."

"I'm not…" she sighed. "I promise you. I'm not crooked."

He pressed down on the door handle and placed a hand on her lower back as she turned around. "Get in there and sort this fucking mess out."

She stepped into the room. The door closed and she jumped. Detective Korsak sat at the table, his eyes as tired as they'd been the day before. She smiled, weakly, crestfallen as he only stared back.

"Sit down." She followed his orders and slouched into the seat opposite him. "You're entitled to have somebody with you."

"I don't want anybody," she said.

If they were going to discover the truth, she wasn't going to hide it. She couldn't do that. She was an honest person, most of the time. Detective Korsak pressed record on the tape. She swallowed. It was official. It would forever exist in an evidence file, somewhere.

"Please can you explain to me what your fingerprints were doing on a car found a few warehouses down from one of several crime scenes," Korsak said, narrowing his eyes.

"I, I don't know," she said, biding her time, hoping for more information before she incriminated herself entirely.

He pushed a photograph across the table. "This car. This car registered to Maura Doyle, daughter of Patrick Doyle. Why are your fingerprints all over it?"

"I." Words caught in the back of her throat. "She's my friend."

"Your friend?" He pressed his lips together and leaned forward. "Paddy Doyle's daughter is your friend?"

"Yeah." She leaned against her elbows. "I met her at a party at BCU a while back, we got talking, we spent some time together."

"That's all this is?" he asked. "You two are friends?"

Her cheeks flushed. She couldn't lie to him. Not when he'd been so kind to her. "No."

"No?" He stared at her, his eyes open wide. "Then please, Rizzoli, explain to me. The car is full of two sets of prints. Maura Doyle's, and yours."

"We're not just friends," she said, lowering her gaze. "Foolhardy told me I shouldn't be honest about my relationship with a woman, but I don't want to lie. Especially not under oath."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm in a relationship with Maura."

"You're…what?" She lifted her gaze back to Korsak. He closed his eyes and rubbed at his temple. "You're dating Paddy Doyle's daughter?"

"Yeah." She shrugged. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. Foolhardy didn't want me to tell anyone that I'm gay. He wouldn't even let me tell him."

Korsak rolled his eyes. "He's old school in every way. I couldn't give a damn if you were in a relationship with a motorbike, as long as you do your job and show up on time. What concerns me is that you're in a very difficult position. Patrick Doyle's daughter, Jane, do you understand what this means?"

"I screwed up," she said. "I didn't know she was his daughter. Not until a couple days ago. She didn't tell me her real name, I thought she was Maura Martin. I guess she uses her mother's name to hide who her father is."

Tapping his fingers across the table, Korsak sighed. "This is not good, Jane. What were you thinking getting involved with her?"

"I didn't know!" She clasped her hand on the table. "She's not who you think she is. She might be his kid but she's nothing like him. She's not a criminal."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I trust her, she's a really important part of my life," Jane said, choking back tears. "I love her."

He reached out and rested a hand briefly over the back of hers. "So, if you two are together, you must have spent a lot of time in the car?"

"Sure. If you checked over mine you'd find exactly the same," she said, brushing away a stray tear. "Sometimes I'd pick her up, sometimes she'd pick me up."

"I'm gonna need to check that," Korsak said. "I hope you understand that I need someone who can corroborate your story."

"You don't believe me?" she asked, leaning forward.

"It's not that, Jane, I just need someone else. Not Maura Doyle."

"My father knows, so does Maura's mother." Jane shrugged. "Ask Hope Martin. She's not with Paddy Doyle anymore, she knows how toxic he is. She's got no reason to lie to you. But I stayed with them for a few days, she's been there when I've picked Maura up. She knows enough to help. You could even ask Maura's little sister, if you really wanted, she calls me her Maura's special friend."

He smiled and slipped out of his seat. "If you'll excuse me, I'll go and make a couple of calls. I'll get someone down to fingerprint your car."

x

Since arriving home from the police department, Maura hadn't heard from Jane. She'd tried her cell too many times to recall but to no avail. She waited until the end of the day, in case Jane had been working again, but when she heard nothing back, she traipsed downstairs.

"Has Jane called?"

"No." Hope put a plate of spaghetti down on the table in front of Cailin. "You want some?"

"I couldn't eat even if I did," she said, sitting down beside her younger sister. "I feel sick."

"You have nothing to worry about," Hope said, filling a glass with water and placing it in front of her. "Drink that. It'll help."

She drank until only a couple of mouthfuls sat in the bottom of the glass. "I don't know what to do. Why won't she call?"

"I don't know." Hope sat down opposite her and reached for her hand. "But you need to stop thinking about Jane right now and think about you. I called a lawyer, he's going to come round tomorrow to discuss where you stand."

She frowned. "The police said I could go."

"Do you really think that's the end of that?" Hope asked, her eyebrows tugged together. "This is your father we're talking about. The man he asked to come see you at the police station, I don't trust him. We need our own lawyer to discuss this with. We need to be sure the police can't lay charges."

"At least he tried," Maura said.

"Tried?" Hope scoffed. "Your father could have gotten you killed, Maura. Do you realise how much trouble you could be in if they find anything connecting you to his dealings? Your future."

"I know exactly how much my future has been risked," Maura said, gritting her teeth. She snatched her hand back and tucked it under the table. She stood up and dialled Jane's number on the phone again. When it continued to ring out, she smacked it back down. "Why won't she answer?"

"I don't know," Hope said, standing up. "Perhaps it's because they know she knows you, and as difficult as it is, being Paddy's daughter doesn't put you in a good position for her right now."

Maura pressed her fingers to her eyelids and brushed away fresh tears. She turned away, her shoulders hunched as she tried to disguise how upset she was. She felt Hope before she saw her, her arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders and Maura sunk into them.

"He ruins everything," she said. "Why can't he just leave me alone?"

"He's very controlling," Hope said, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "But I promise you, we're going to do everything we can to stop him from controlling your life. I can't believe he ever put you in such a position."

"I should have said no."

"I always regretted not moving us away from Boston."

"This isn't your fault, Mom," Maura said, clutching her hand. "It's his fault."

"It is, but I still feel responsible. I should have been protecting you."

"You did everything you could." Maura pressed a kiss to her cheek and stepped back. "I need to go to Jane's, I need to find out what's going on."

x

Letting herself in with her key, Maura stood in the dark. The apartment still felt new, a novelty, and yet it also felt like the most comfortable place she had ever set foot. She sat down on the end of the bed, relishing the quiet. After what felt like hours, the front door opened again, and Jane appeared in the doorway. She stood up.

"Go home, Maura," Jane said, pushing the door closed.

She walked toward her, reaching out her arms, to which Jane folded her own. "Please don't let this ruin things between us."

"You ruined this when you asked me to lie for you," Jane said, her voice tight. "When you asked me to tamper with evidence."

"I'm sorry," Maura cried, her voice broke as fresh tears skirted down her face. "I didn't want to jeopardise my future for him."

Jane scoffed. "So instead you jeopardised mine."

The distance between them felt vaster than it'd ever been. Everything they'd survived to get to that point and it was all broken in a second. Maura stepped forward again, but Jane stepped back.

"No," Jane said, folding her arms tighter around her front.

"Please, Jane," she said. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too."

"Is it," she felt guilty for asking the question, but she needed to know.

"Yeah, it's gone." Jane lowered her head. "They found your car. They brought me in to ask me questions because my fingerprints were all over it."

"I know," Maura said. "They called my Mom. What happened? Did they find out why?"

"Why?" Jane rolled her eyes. "Sure, they know you're my girlfriend. They know I'm sleeping with Paddy Doyle's daughter. You should have seen the look in the eyes of the one person at work who sees potential in me. Do you know how much I put on the line to help you?"

"I know."

"Do you really?"

"Yes, Jane." Maura shook her head. "My dad won't let you take the fall; he won't let you get hurt. He's already had a lawyer come out to help me. He wouldn't do it to me, to you. He's not like that."

"Really?" Jane scoffed again. "Like he didn't try to kill me and instead murdered my mother?"

She swallowed the lump settling in the back of her throat. It ached with every breath. "Jane."

"I need you to go now," she said, staring down at the floor.

"Please, Jane," Maura said, stepping toward her. "Please don't let this be over because of him."

She shrugged. "This isn't because of him."

Covering her mouth, Maura's heart ached. "Me?"

"I can't do this right now."

"Please, talk to me about this," Maura said.

"I said no, Maura." Jane reached for the door and pulled it open. She stood, holding it back. "Just go. I need you to go."

She nodded her head and walked through the door, away from Jane, away from the person she felt happiest in the company of. Outside the apartment building, she leaned against a wall and allowed more tears to fall.


	22. Chapter Twenty-One

**Author Note** **: Thank you all again for your responses to the last chapter. Still a few more chapters to go but we're definitely getting close to the end. A few more little hurdles to pass through, I think.**

* * *

Looking at her reflection was a mistake. The lack of sleep, and continual flow of tears the night before had created red marks down her face, and her eyelids drooped. Three nights with little sleep was really taking its toll. She rubbed her tired eyes, splashed water against her face, and tried to wake herself up a bit. She hated throwing Maura out, hated it so much that she'd almost chased after her, or called her, at regular intervals the last couple of days. She felt like she was in a permanent hangover, emotionally broken, and physically exhausted.

By the time she arrived at the office, with a take-out mug of coffee in her hand, she felt semi-human. She entered the break room to refill her coffee. A couple of officers stood by the water cooler, their eyes trained on her as she walked past.

"Give us the room," Foolhardy said, entering the room. The two officers left. Jane turned around, narrowing her eyes in his direction. "What did I tell you?"

"Excuse me, Sir?" Jane asked.

He stepped forward. "What the fuck did I tell you about sharing things around here?"

She moved backward, regretting doing so when the small of her back hit the edge of the counter and she had nowhere else to go. He towered over her, his eyes baring down.

"You have a damn lot of work to do to make up for this, Rizzoli." He trailed a finger down her cheek. "You can start by kissing my God damn shoes. I'd have you kiss something else, but the way they've started talking around here, they'd probably fire me."

Standing upright, Jane pressed her lips together. A wave of sickness passed over her. She needed to eat something. "You told me to lie about my girlfriend."

"Don't fucking talk about it," he said. "Isn't it embarrassing enough that the whole department knows?"

Jane shrugged. "I don't care."

"You should do." He stared into her eyes. He moved his hands down across her shoulders and pressed himself up against her. She could feel the mound in his pants growing against her leg. He cupped his hands around the front of her shirt. "All you need is a good fucking. Knock that right out of you."

"Fuck off."

"Your little girlfriend can join us, if you'd like," he said, licking his lips.

She lifted her knee quickly, not stopping as it hit his groin with full force. He stumbled backward enough for her to free herself from his prison.

"I'll have your badge, you little dyke." He groaned, his hands cupping his groin. "You should never have told them that you were with a woman. That kind of shit doesn't pass around here; do you understand? We don't talk about it. I'll have your career."

"It's not the army, Sir," Jane said, folding her arms across her chest.

He leaned back against the wall, breathing heavily. "Might as well be."

"With all due respect," Jane said. "I did what I had to do to protect myself in a case. I'd have thought being in a relationship with Paddy Doyle's child would be more of a problem than the fact she's a woman."

He stepped forward and grabbed her upper arm, his fingers tightening around her skin. She tugged it away but his grip was too tight. "You'd better watch your mouth, or you will regret ever speaking about your relationship. Got that?"

"No," she said, smirking. "But I think I get it now."

"Get what?"

She leaned close, her nose millimetres from his. "That the only reason you're being like this is because you've got something to make up for."

He shook his head. "What are you talking about, Rizzoli? I could have you up on charges for assaulting me. You need to watch what you're saying, or I'll throw the fucking book at you. Smart cops don't make smart comments. Even smarter cops don't mess with their bosses."

"No, smart cops don't mess with their bosses," Jane said, gripping the front of his shirt with her free hand. "But misogynistic cops have very small dicks, that's what it sure felt like, anyway, and I'm never, _ever_ going to be interested in you. You'll have my badge? I'm not the one with several complaints in my permanent record. The only badge at risk here, is yours."

His grip loosened and Jane stepped away, putting as much space as she could between them. She smiled her best smile, and waved her hand in his direction.

"Nothing to say?" She backed away. "Don't worry about it, Office Foolhardy. I've already put in a complaint; seems they know you like to get a little too hands on with the women. I'm hoping Officer Polk will be a lot nicer than you. Probably smells better, too."

She turned around and headed for the door, stopping as she saw a handful of people stood in the doorway. She held her head high and walked toward them. As she passed, someone patted her hand on the back, and another one congratulated her. She smiled, nodding her appreciation before leaving the room.

x

"I'm Alan Francis," the suited man said, holding out his hand.

Maura shook it and sat down on the couch. Her mother tucked a hand around her arm. She sunk against her side. Sometimes she felt like really grown up, independent, other times she felt like she really needed her mother to sort everything out for her. Being an adult was hard, even more so when it involved potential criminal charges.

"Your mother tells me that your father has been trying to resolve this issue for you."

"That is correct," Maura said. "I was contacted by a lawyer, who he hired, yesterday. I don't want to meet with him again. I need to resolve this my own way, without his help."

"Very wise." Alan pulled out a notepad and referred to some notes. "Right now there's no evidence tying you to any crime, just a crime scene. I'm hoping your acceptance to BCU Medical School will hold you in good stead. You're a good kid trying to make good in the world."

She leaned forward. "I just want to get my life back on track. Please help me do that."

x

Standing in front of Detective Korsak and her new Field Training Officer, Polk, Jane felt nervous. In all of the weeks she'd been there, all of the new things that had been asked of her, she hadn't once felt nerves that reached into the pit of her stomach quite like they were doing in that moment.

"Don't look so worried," Korsak said.

"All I've heard is good things, Rizzoli," Polk said, clasping his hands in front of him. "Which is why Detective Korsak wants us to continue working this case."

"What about my conflict of interest, Sir?"

Korsak shrugged. "The only thing I've seen from you is someone who wants to do good. You know right from wrong, even when you know someone involved. This isn't about Maura Doyle, it's about her father."

"You sure I won't become a liability?"

"Why would you?"

"I dunno." She sighed. "I wouldn't."

"That's what I like to hear," Polk said, patting her on the shoulder. "We've got some intelligence on the whereabouts of Paddy Doyle. You're still wet around the ears so you won't be doing much, staying in the car, mostly. But you need to know what's going on."

"Thank you, Sir." She reached out her hand and Polk shook it. "I appreciate the opportunity."

"Don't look at me," he said. "It's Korsak that's been singing your praises."

"Thank you," she said again, shaking Korsak's hand.

x

"This is police harassment," Hope said, sitting down beside Maura in the interview room. "You have nothing to charge her with, please will you leave her alone. She's done nothing wrong."

Korsak smiled weakly, then pushed a printed sheet across the table. "I wouldn't call several payments to Maura's bank account nothing."

Hope stared up at him, then back down at the sheet of paper. She picked it up and scanned the document. Maura sat up a little straighter, pressing her lips together. "He's my father. He paid for school, is that really a crime?"

"That's all this is?" Korsak narrowed his eyes. "Him paying for your schooling?"

She shrugged. "Sometimes he gives me money. I don't want it, but Paddy Doyle is a difficult man to say no to."

"I can imagine." Korsak returned the document to his file and placed a photograph from the night at the warehouse in front of her. "He calls, you come over. Is that how it worked? That's you, in the photograph, is it not?"

Maura picked it up and stared down at the picture. She swallowed, the lump in her throat settled painfully. "That's me."

"This is from a CCTV camera we found in the warehouse that burned down. Luckily the flames didn't reach the room where the footage was kept. You may have come across the man who was shot, Ms Doyle, but this photograph shows you at a serious crime scene. Four people were found dead, including the man you're seeing leaning over. What the hell happened?"

"I think we need to call a lawyer," Hope said, rubbing Maura's wrist. "My daughter has nothing to say to you until he's here."

x

Thirty minutes later, Korsak returned to the interview room. Maura's stomach growled. Despite being offered a sandwich earlier, she'd refused. Even if she wanted to eat, she anticipated throwing it back up again. Detective Korsak sat back down opposite her. Her mother had left, replaced instead by Alan Francis.

"Maura Doyle."

"Please," Maura said. "Call me Maura Martin."

"Is Maura Martin your legal name?"

She lowered her head, shaking it briefly. "Not yet."

"Ms Doyle," Korsak said. "We're in a very difficult position right now."

"My client has admitted to being at the warehouse," Alan said. "She went to visit her father, and when the man she's photographed with came out with burns on his person, she tried to help him."

"That's my problem," Korsak said. "Ms Doyle, you've been very helpful, haven't you? First the man who got shot, now this man. Is that what he's been paying you for? To patch up his injured worker?"

"No comment."

Korsak shook his head and leaned closer, lowering his tone. "You claim all innocence, and I want to believe you, I really do. The only problem is I have several payments made to you by your father. Whilst I can appreciate they can be explained away by parental responsibility, the evidence suggests to me that you've been helping him out. Everything you've said suggests you've been using your medical knowledge to support your father's criminal activity."

"I've done nothing wrong," she said.

"Whether you have or haven't, the evidence does not stand in your favour. We have CCTV evidence putting you in a warehouse that burned down. A warehouse where we have found evidence of weapons, drugs, evidence of illegal sex trafficking. There are bullet holes in the walls, in the doors. You were there right before we showed up. This photograph was taken not long before we arrived. Do you understand the situation I'm in?"

"Please," Maura said, tears filling her eyes. "I don't know what my father does. I don't help him with him criminal activity. I want a better life than that."

"That may be so, but that doesn't mean you've not been involved."

"Detective Korsak," Alan said. "Unless you can tie the money my client has received with criminal activity carried out in the warehouse, it is entirely circumstantial. You know full well that that money can be and will be explained as parental responsibility, as a father paying for his child's education."

Korsak clasped his hands on the desk in front of him and leaned forward. "The only problem with that, is that Patrick Doyle is not known to have any legal routes of sourcing money. All evidence suggests said money has been accumulated through criminal means, putting your client in a very sticky spot."

Swiping the back of her hand across her cheek, Maura leaned backward. She tried to smile, to appear presentable, and adult, but she couldn't do it. For a while she thought she was going to get away with helping her father out, now she was left in limbo.

"We still have ongoing enquiries," Korsak said. "I'm not going to re-arrest you at this stage, but don't leave the state, Ms Doyle. I will need to speak with you again soon."


	23. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Author Note** **: I realise I've probably overloaded you all this week, but haven't seen anyone complain about too many updates, ever. So it's all good.**

 **Thank you so much - the response has been brilliant. I didn't realise how close we were to the end of this story. This is the final chapter before the epilogue. So it's technically the end. But the epilogue is worth reading, even if I do say so myself.**

* * *

Jane, Officer Polk, and Detective Korsak sat in a car watching a building. She leaned against the back seat, her eyes fixed on the front door. Everything about the scenario felt strange. She wasn't anywhere near the level of officer to be on a stakeout, least not being the only other officer there.

"A man fitting Paddy Doyle's description has been seen coming and going from that loft," Korsak said, signalling toward the building. "I'm hoping if we sit here long enough, he'll come back."

She pushed her concerns aside. She appreciated the opportunity, and she wasn't about to let it go to waste. Even if she did feel like she was about to collapse with exhaustion at any moment.

"Who owns it?" Polk asked.

Korsak rapped his fingers across the steering wheel. "A business associate of Doyle's."

"Did you ask his kid about it?"

"No." Korsak glanced back at Jane. "She's not talking."

"What's going on with Maura?" Jane asked, regretting the question the second she'd asked it.

"We got more evidence," Korsak said, narrowing his eyes. "Trying to piece together what it all means."

She leaned against the back of the front seat, her eyes trained on the door to the building. She didn't speak for a moment, trying to put into words the thoughts going through her mind.

"I called in the tip."

Korsak and Polk turned around. Korsak stared at her, his mouth agape. "The one about Doyle?"

"Yeah." She gritted her teeth. She was about to save Maura, or risk her career further, she didn't know which. But she couldn't stay silent about it. "Maura told me her father was involved in criminal activity weeks ago. I didn't know he was Patrick Doyle until right before the operation. When she told me who he was, I asked her for information and she gave it to me. I called in the tip."

The car stayed silent. Jane stared straight ahead. The two men exchanged glances. She wanted to leave, to get away from the suffocating tension in the car. She could leave, if she was happy to throw her career away.

"We're gonna have to discuss this back at the station," Polk said.

Jane nodded. A man exited the building across the street. She sat upright. "Is that him?"

Polk and Korsak turned their attention back to the building. Korsak opened his car door. "Stay in the car."

They walked across the street. Korsak's hand tucked around his gun in his holster. Polk followed at his heel. The man, in a baseball cap and checked shirt, strolled down the street. Jane could hear Korsak's voice as he shouted to him. The man turned, glancing briefly, before he sped off away from them.

The three men disappeared from sight. She waited, watching the empty street for sign of their return. When nobody came, Jane climbed out of the back seat and set off at a run. Her feet pounded the sidewalk. Her chest ached the longer she sprinted away from the car. A gunshot rattled in the distance. She sped up, taking a left, then a right, until she found Paddy Doyle with his arm around Polk's neck.

"Put the gun down," Korsak said, holding his out in front of him. He ducked down behind a dumpster as Paddy fired another shot. "You don't wanna do this."

"Don't do this Doyle," Jane shouted. Korsak turned around and shook his head, but she ignored him. She took her gun out of her holster and held it up in the air in surrender. "I know you don't wanna die. If you hurt him, if you hurt any of us, we're gonna shoot you."

"Jane Rizzoli," he said, smirking. "I wondered if we'd ever meet."

"Yeah." She stepped forward, her gun still raised above her head. "Me too."

"Drop the gun on the floor and kick it to me."

She shook her head. "No can do, Doyle. You see, if I do that, then I put my life in your hands. We all know what happens when people put their lives in your hands."

"You've got nothing."

"No," Jane said. " _You've_ got nothing. You're not a killer, not by your own hand. You get other people to do it for you. You're a family man. You love Maura, you don't want her to get hurt. If you hurt us, that's exactly what will happen."

"Jane," Korsak said, his voice hushed and raised at the same time. He swiped his finger across his throat quickly. His face contorted with anger.

"She's already hurting."

"She's fine. She's gonna be a doctor."

"No, she's not." Jane moved closer still. "She's at the police station. She's probably gonna be charged with who knows what number of crimes. Because of you."

"She did nothing wrong."

"I know." Jane edged a little closer. "You know. You need to tell them what you did to her, what you made her do. You need to fix this or she'll never forgive you. Then you might as well be dead."

He shook his head. "This is all bullshit, Rizzoli. You're talking crap. You ain't got nothing on me and you never will."

"No?" Jane laughed. "You're holding a police officer hostage. That's enough to arrest you. Heck, that's enough to shoot you."

Korsak stepped out from behind the dumpster, his gun in hand. "She's right, Doyle. This ends two ways – you surrender and come with us, clear your daughter's name, or we shoot you, you die, and your daughter goes down for so many crimes you couldn't even begin to imagine."

"Maura is not a criminal. She has done nothing wrong. You can't send her to jail for something she didn't do."

"We know," Korsak said, stepping forward. "But if you're dead, who else are we gonna pin it all on?"

"That's illegal."

Korsak shrugged. "What do we care? Someone needs to pay for your crimes."

Jane stared at Korsak, his eyes fixed on hers. He glanced across to the other side of the alleyway, then back to the side where Doyle held Polk hostage. She nodded and moved slowly off to the side. Korsak travelled down his side.

"Stay the fuck away!" Doyle turned his gun to Jane, then back to Korsak. "I'll shoot him, don't think I won't."

They moved forward again. Jane hovered on the far side. Korsak moved faster, getting closer to Doyle. He dropped his grip on Polk, kicking out with his leg. It collided with Korsak's shin and he went down, screaming. Polk reached out but Doyle was too quick and he whacked him across the back of the head with his gun. Jane's heart leapt into her throat. Korsak lifted his gun, but Doyle was faster. He held it out, ready to fire.

Jane, without hesitation, pressed down on the trigger on her gun, aimed and squeezed tightly.

The shot fired out across the alley, echoing over bricks and concrete. A second shot fired, colliding with the dumpster a foot to the left of Korsak. Jane dropped her gun, a moment of fear overtaking her.

Doyle fell. His knees landed on the concrete. He clutched the wound in his chest and fell forward, blood pooled around him.

x

Korsak sat in the chair opposite Maura again. Her lawyer sat beside her, holding his own against Korsak's questioning. She had no clear answers, had run out of ways to explain that she had not been part of her father's criminal ring. A knock at the door pulled their attention away.

"Come in," Korsak said.

Maura felt herself fall apart when she saw Jane. She stood up, but her lawyer tugged at her arm and she sat back down, tears in her eyes. Jane smiled weakly, sliding into the seat beside Korsak and opposite Maura.

"Any news?" Korsak asked.

"May I?" He nodded. Jane reached a hand out to Maura's and squeezed it. "Maura. Your father was seriously injured in a gun fight a couple of hours ago."

Her hand shook in Jane's. She covered her mouth with her free hand as tears coated her cheeks. She turned to Korsak who nodded confirmation.

"He's in the hospital. There's no news. He's currently in surgery." She let go of Maura's hand and slipped it back under the table. Maura reached out, following it with her fingers, before giving up. Her heart thrummed so fast she could hear it in her ears. "He tried to defend you, but at the end of the day, when it came down to death or you. He didn't choose you."

Wiping at her cheeks, Maura's face contorted, her shoulders shook. She knew he loved her, in his own weird way, but she had assumed that meant he would protect her. At all costs.

"Ms Doyle," Korsak said. "We've spoken to the District Attorney. We have two options. There's enough evidence to charge you with being an accessory to your father's criminal activity. Given the breadth of his crimes, you could face a long sentence."

She leaned back in her chair. Her breath caught in her throat. This wasn't happening. She tried to speak but no words came. She glanced at Jane, but she averted her gaze.

"The other option is for you to tell us everything you know about your father. People, places, anything you were involved in. The DA is happy to drop all charges, on the proviso that you cooperate fully with us. I don't believe you're the person charges would make you out to be." He turned to Jane. "I'm certain your girlfriend doesn't, either."

Jane sat upright, her eyes fixed on Maura's. She forged a smile, to which Maura returned an equally strained one. She had no choice, really. It was her own guilt, versus her father's. Knowing that in the blink of an eye, he'd chosen himself, made it all the easier.

"Please, take it," Jane said, grasping her hand and squeezing it again. "It's a good deal. It's the best deal you're gonna get. Take it, tell them everything, and then we can get on with our lives."

"Our lives?"

"Please," Jane said, lowering her gaze. "Just take the deal."

x

Outside the station, Maura stood at the bottom of the steps. Jane's lips curved at the edges as she reached her. She tried to push the smile aside, but she couldn't. After everything, after the worst few months of her life, she couldn't lose the only good thing to come of it.

"Where are you going?" Maura asked.

"Home," Jane said.

"Can I walk with you?"

Jane hesitated. She stared down at her feet, then lifted her eyes back up to meet Maura's. "It was me, Maura. I shot Paddy."

"Pardon?"

"I understand if that changes things between us." She shrugged. "He was gonna hurt Detective Korsak. He was gonna hurt us all. But mostly, he was willing to hurt you and I didn't want him to have that power over you again. I'm sorry."

Maura reached down and took her hand, interlinking their fingers between them. "I spoke to the hospital. He's in a coma. They don't expect him to recover."

"Oh."

She cupped her cheek, lifting her face up as she stepped toward Jane. Maura leaned closer and brushed her lips against Janes. "For so long I half wished he would die. Now he's going to, I think I'm okay with that. After what he did to your mother, to your family. It's only fair that he doesn't get to carry on living in this world."

"But, what about your career?"

Sighing, Maura lifted her hand up against her chest and closed the gap again. "If the only way I can have that career is by being the daughter of a criminal mastermind, I'd rather never be a doctor."

"That would be a real shame," Jane said, tucking a strand of hair back from her cheek. "You would make a fantastic doctor."

"What matters more to me, right now, is trying to make things right with you." She stroked her cheek. "Please tell me we can work through this."

"We can work through this."

"Thank you." Maura kissed her again. Jane deepened the kiss, not caring as officers and other police personnel came in and out of the building. The only thing that mattered to her was Maura, and the life she hoped they'd share now that the worst was over. "Let's go home."


	24. Epilogue

**Author Note** **: Well, we are finally here; the end. I am sad, and happy, all at the same time. This story turned out nothing, and everything, like I hoped. I don't write Alternate Universes very often, but I'm glad I wrote this one. It's been challenging, in more ways than one, and I know it's not been as popular as my other stories. But I'm still so glad to have written it, and that you've all been here on this journey. I have more stories in my head, so don't worry, another story will not be far away (as you will probably have seen with my new story, Slide). Thank you all, and until next time.**

* * *

Dropping a box on the floor, Maura pulled out the contents, placing her books up on the bookshelf neatly. The floorboard creaked. She turned around and grinned ridiculously. She stood up, wrapping her arms around Jane's waist, as she peppered kisses across her collarbone.

"I'm so glad you're moving in," Jane said, finishing her assault on her skin. "How do you feel about going back to school?"

"Can't wait," Maura said, looping her arms around Jane's neck. "Are you sure you don't mind me living here?"

"Why would I mind?"

"It's closer to school than my mother's."

"You're practically living here already," Jane said, running her hands up across her back. "What's a few extra books and clothes? Besides, you brought furniture, I need furniture."

"Match made in heaven," Maura said, rolling her eyes.

Jane twitched her nose. "You've spent too much time around me. Your sarcasm is showing."

"Mom sent over a box with frozen meals," Maura said. "It should be white with kitchen written on it."

Letting go of Maura, Jane walked across the room. "I love your mother!"

"I thought you might." Maura abandoned the books and followed her into the kitchen area. "I also picked up a bottle of wine, and some beers. Thought we could celebrate my moving in."

"Deacon invited us to a party."

"Tonight?"

"Yeah." Jane tangled her fingers up in the strands of Maura's hair. "He got engaged, figured we should probably make an appearance."

"His girlfriend agreed?"

Jane smirked. "I was surprised too."

"He seems so young."

"He's twenty-four, she's a little older. But he acts like he's still in high school."

"Sometimes I feel like I'm still in high school," Maura said. "I forget that we're older, that we're supposed to be adults."

"Me too." Jane opened the white box and emptied a couple of containers into the freezer. "I went back to work today."

"How was it?"

"Fine." Jane shrugged. "I'm glad the therapy is over. I can't believe they made me see a therapist before I could go back."

Maura picked up a couple of containers and passed them to her. "You did kill somebody."

"In the line of duty."

"Doesn't matter how you did it," Maura said. "They're trying to look out for you. Besides, you've had a difficult year. I thought it helped."

"It did." She placed the other containers in a pile, closed the door, and stood up. "I'm just glad that Paddy planned for his death. Now you don't have to worry about how you'll become a doctor."

"It feels good." She pushed a hole through the bottom of the box and folded it up. "I'm free. I get some of his money to carry on with my dreams, but I never have to see him again."

Jane stood up, her eyes darted in Maura's direction. She stared back, her eyebrows creased together. "I heard you crying last night, Maura."

"Oh."

"You don't have to pretend that everything's fine. I get it. I know your relationship with your dad was different to mine with my mom, but that doesn't mean I don't understand. We've both lost people we care about. If you need to cry about it, you don't have to do it in secret."

"I'm sorry."

She stepped forward, cupping her face. "Don't be sorry. I just want you to be okay."

"I will be."

"Good." Jane leaned in and kissed her. "I'm proud of you. You've overcome something most people would just give in to, and now look at you. You start med school in a couple days, you've just moved in with your girlfriend. I think we've got something good going on here."

"Me too," Maura said, kissing her again. She held her close. "I wanted to thank you again for helping me out, Jane. For getting rid of the drugs and gun. I can't believe you would put your life at risk like that."

"Well, I love you." Jane shrugged. "So, it was a no brainer. Just, let's never talk about it again."

"Okay. And I love you."

Maura reached for the bag with the wine and beer. She handed Jane a bottle and found a bottle opener for the wine. She uncorked it and poured herself a glass.

"To us," Maura said, holding it up.

Jane clinked her bottle against the wine glass. "To us."

"What time is the party?"

"Seven thirty. So we should probably leave at eight." Maura pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow. "He's a terrible time keeper. Let's hope his fiancée will stop him being late for work all the damn time."

"Like I stop you being late for work?"

Jane narrowed her eyes, smirking. She leaned her forehead against Maura's. "Make me late for work, you mean."

"Me? Never."

Capturing Maura's lips, Jane pulled back again. "You ever thought of getting married?

"To you?" Maura stepped away.

She shrugged. "To whoever."

"I've thought about it," Maura said. She lowered her gaze, running her tongue across her bottom lip. "But the only person I'd want to marry is the one person I legally can't."

Raising her eyebrows, Jane tilted her head back up and stared into her eyes. "There's always Canada."

"Pardon?"

"We can get married in Canada."

"Jane..." Maura said, her eyes wide.

"Yeah?" She sipped on her beer.

"Are you asking me to marry you?"

"No!" Jane shook her head and shrugged. "I just mean we can…if we wanted to…eventually."

"Okay."

"Maybe when you graduate medical school."

"So, in four years."

Jane paused. "We'll be, what, twenty-six?"

"Or maybe when you become a detective," Maura said, leaning in close.

"That would probably be better."

"Much better."

* * *

 **The End/Fin/No more/That is all**


End file.
